Akiva Cohen Profile picture
Jan 9, 2022 17 tweets 6 min read Read on X
Holy shit this Apothio litigation funding scam @KyleWRoche is running - and yes, Kyle, it IS a scam, that's what you call it when you take advantage of unsophisticated people who don't know any better - just keeps getting worse and worse the more I look at it.

See this?
There is no legitimate litigation funder in the world who will fund on these terms.

None.

Funders get paid first. That's how litigation funding works. Their initial investment is first money out. Then their litigation return. THEN the lawyers get paid.
In Kyle's version, the rubes who invest are not first money out.

Not even their initial capital outlay.

They come out AFTER the lawyers and AFTER unfunded litigation expenses.
This is being pitched to people who don't know how litigation funding works; nobody who does would ever invest on these terms.

There's nobody gatekeeping these fees. And the law firm has zero incentive to minimize them
I can't even begin to tell you how gross this is; you're telling me that if you get a 300M award and walk away with a 99.3M contingency fee, you're going to nickel-and-dime your investors by paying expenses *before* calculating their return? What the fuck?
Oh my God you absolute piece of shit
Do you see what they're doing?

1) If this case gets dismissed and the litigation funding doesn't need to be deployed to cover expenses ... they keep 20% of it anyway. Why? Just because.

2) If the claim pays off & funders don't step up to collect within a year ... they lose it
Ha ... unless there's another term in the agreement that expressly gives the company unfettered discretion, this provision arguably bars them from settling on any terms that would provide less than 100% investment return.
Gonna skip ahead to schedule I; I want to see what that return looks like
This is all just horrifying. There's no contingent upside at all - just a multiple return.

Typically, a litigation funder gets "the greater of [x%] or [YMultiple]". Here, your max recovery is 3.5x, and only if your money is locked up for more than 3 years.
Oh, also, in a sign of a well drafted agreement, there IS NO "CLOSING DATE". So looks like your max recovery is 2X

The definitions section says the closing date will be defined in section 4(a)(6). One problem: There's no such section
On the plus side, section 4(a) says they have 60 days from the Closing Date to get you your token. Since the Closing Date doesn't exist, that deadline is also meaningless
Oh holy shit, these fuckweasels don't even have a meaningful notification procedure for their funders; they're going to make announcements on crypto news sites. Hope you find them before the time to make a claim runs out
Definitely want to include a non-reliance representation from a buyer whose only ability to conduct due diligence on the litigation is to review and rely on your representations about the underlying facts
If it seems like I'm furious over this it's only because I'm fucking fuming. These lawyers are going to be taking advantage of people who don't know any better. "Invest in a potential billion dollar lawsuit" sounds great to a certain class of idiot. This is a grift.
Seriously. @KyleWRoche, @VelvelFreedman, and everyone else associated with this nonsense should be hanging their heads in absolute shame. You're fucking lawyers. You have ethical duties. Don't take advantage of people who lack the background to catch it, guys. This is wrong.
And yeah, I imagine the pile of money you'll end up sleeping on will soothe any ethical qualms you have, if you have them.

It shouldn't.

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More from @AkivaMCohen

Jun 30, 2023
OK, time to get myself ratioed.

The SCOTUS affirmative action decision was legally wrong - poorly reasoned and legally silly. But in the long run, and if it spurs schools to use socioeconomic status and opportunity as the finger on the scales, it will be a net positive
Race is a blunt instrument, and I think we *all* agree that, for example, Willow Smith doesn't need or warrant any sort of bump on her college application. But Willow Smith is a WILD outlier and "but what about [insert rare exception]" isn't a useful policy framework
So yeah, it was perfectly reasonable for universities to use that blunt instrument.

As many of these university reaction statements are making clear, the burden will now be to find finer instruments that allow for the same intended benefit of taking into account the very real
Read 7 tweets
Jun 9, 2023
This thread from Yesh is a good example of a philosophical mistake I like to call "solutionism" - the belief that if a problem is bad enough then there must be a solution out there to resolve it, because "yeah, it sucks, it can't be solved for" is too unthinkable to bear
You see it a lot in the context of Israel/Palestine, with people convinced that the right mixture of fairy dust & button pushing can lead to a peaceful resolution that addresses all of the important and competing imperatives, it's just that nobody has found the right mixture yet
And we're seeing it with "a large portion of the population is willing to believe any prosecution of crimes by Trump is political"

Yes, that sucks. Yes, that's a potentially society-destroying problem.

No, there isn't a solution
Read 8 tweets
Jun 9, 2023
@yesh222 You don't worry about that, because it's not a solveable problem. You keep doing the right thing and hope that convictions and mounting evidence prevents more people from joining the conspiracy theorists, but that's all you can do
@yesh222 I said this 4 years ago, and it's proven true in every particular.

Read 4 tweets
May 19, 2023
That she was the one stealing the bike.

Literally nothing she did on the video is consistent with her new story. When her colleague came over and the kids said "that's his bike, he already paid for it" she didn't deny it, or look surprised by the claim.
Like ... how do you determine truth in a they-said-she-said situation? Watch human behavior. Throughout the video, the kids' tone is exactly what you'd expect for someone who believes their own story. Hers very much is not
And when her colleague comes and suggests that the kids get another bike, and they say "no, he paid for that bike, he unlocked it, it's his" there's exactly no reaction of "no, *I* paid for it" or "what the hell", which is what you'd expect if they were lying
Read 4 tweets
May 9, 2023
Hey, Twitter, and especially my #LitigationDisasterTourists, gather round. B/cwhile DM is focusing in on the court finding that selling videogame cheats is criminal copyright infringement and RICO, I'd like to tell you about something different. The CFAA, and @KathrynTewson
And don't get me wrong - that RICO stuff is big news that should be sending shockwaves through the cheat software industry. Cheatmakers often use resellers. Being found liable on a RICO violation means that every reseller could potentially be liable for 100% of the damage caused
by the cheat software.

And by 100%, of course, I mean 300%, since RICO comes with treble damages. Plus attorneys' fees. So that's a big deal.

As is the finding that it's criminal copyright infringement. Those are both new precedents in the area, and that's huge.
Read 21 tweets
Mar 8, 2023
I'm not inclined to forgive antisemitism, but this is more a learning opportunity than a defenestration opportunity. There are people who still legitimately don't understand that "Jew down" or "gyp" are slurs; it's just a phrase they've grown up around and use w/o thought
And yes, he doubled down when called out on it. That's almost always going to happen when someone who sincerely doesn't believe they're doing anything bigoted is called out for it in a public setting.

The real test will be whether he can learn (& apologize) as he gets more info
Also, HOLY FUCKING SHIT @pnj, you couldn't find an *actual* Jew to get a quote from, so you decided to go to a Christian LARPing as a Jew for missionizing purposes? What the absolute fuck? pnj.com/story/news/loc…
Read 4 tweets

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