Thread by @sarjuathwal

I remember trying to organise a first date with someone I met online. After 6 weeks of me suggesting dates and her not being free, she eventually found a day she was free - 24th December

That turned out to be the least weird part of the date...

https://twitter.com/NeelyMozawala/status/1481031330653782024

Wow, didn't expect this level of interest otherwise I wouldn't have tweeted just before sleeping!

Sure, this could be a thread. Will post the full story later

Some spoilers though: she was not Santa, an elf or my future spouse...

Ok, so as promised, the rest of the story. Hope it lives up to the expectation I have unwittingly created

After some reluctant negotiations ("What's wrong with Christmas eve though?"), we settled on a date a couple of days before...

We found a place that was convenient for both - a 10 min walk for her (non-driver) and a 60 min drive for me

Needless to say, my theatre list ran over and I arrived at the bar 3 minutes late

On arrival, I was directed to the opposite side of the bar to where she was sitting - she wanted to see "if I would spend time looking for her, or just give up and leave" (my 3 minute tardiness was taken as a lack of sincerity/interest)

Drinks were bought, and we settled into standard first date conversation fodder - food, music etc

About 10 mins in, the subject of holidays came up and I mentioned a preference for city breaks. Being more a fan of the countryside she grimaced a little. But ok, no big deal right?

Wrong

This apparently deal breaking difference was not well received

"Well, this really isn't going very well is it"

Now, I'm no stranger to bad dates, but 10 mins was a record even for me

I of course offered to do the gentlemanly thing and withdraw gracefully so as not to take up more of her evening

But I was reassured that "No it's fine, I'm sure we'll find something in common"

Cool. Cool cool cool

Suitably buoyed by this rousing encouragement I gamely pressed on

Other routine topics were discussed and discarded. She liked art, I liked tech. I liked history, she found it dull

In short, all going swimmingly. In the "I'm not waving, I'm drowning sense"

Then came the fateful subject of family. Somehow the conversation resulted in me mentioning how old my mum was

"Oh, but she doesn't look like she's X years old"

Reader, it was slipped in so subtly that I carried on talking for several seconds before I realised what she'd said

Look, we've all done it, the pre date social media stalk to check the person we're meeting seems real/sane

However, my understanding of this social convention was that it was done but not spoken of. Not so on this date. This was becoming interesting

It was at this point she excused herself to go to the bathroom. Good time for a mid-date recovery.

20 mins later, she returns and happily points out to me that she did in fact come back and not climb out of the bathroom window

When I suggested I hadn't been worried about that as she'd left her bag

"Not a problem, I'd have called the bar and asked them to keep it safe for me"

Drinks were finished and I assumed the end of the date was close behind. Imagine my surprise to be offered another

I'll admit, I was in two minds but sure why not. Another coke zero for the road barkeep

The remaining conversation was a little too specific to be fully anonymous, so I'll skip over that to the point at which I offered her a lift home as there was a long wait for a taxi

A gesture that was handsomely rewarded by the observation that my car's clean interior was "indicative of a sociopathic personality"

Now I had no idea the diagnostic power of one's lack of in car detritus, but I was certainly learning a lot that night

The journey back was highlighted by being given the wrong directions (tbf, I should have known turn left meant keep going straight)

Awkward goodbyes were said, and I figured that was the end of another dating "experience"

So I was surprised as you to get home and see a text message stating that the evening had been fun, and potentially repeatable

Only, I wasn't to reply and state whether I felt the same until the next afternoon as it was no fun to hear what the other person thought right away...

Now, I'm generally of the opinion that if something isn't actively harming me, I'll see where it goes

So we spent another few weeks trying to organise another date

I strongly suspect she was trying to hold off until Easter, but sadly I'll never know as her messages went the way of the ghost

Apologies that there was no How I Met Your Mother moment, but hopefully it was worth the wait

I'll say this - I've told this story several times, and it never fails to make me smile. Given how depressing dating can be, I'll take it. So thanks N for an excellent anecdote

Just to add - there may be elements of sarcasm and frustration, but I didn't feel any ill will towards her. Dating as a woman looks rough as all hell, and y'all do what you gotta do to stay safe

Just know the guys will be living off the stories forever...

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