I was in my room last night when my neighbour
started screaming... "Help! Help! Snake ooo! "πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ™†

I ran to her room with a strong wood in my hand.
When I dashed into her room, I saw a very big snake facing my neighbour inside her
sitting room and other neighbours joined me πŸ‘‡
with their heavy sticks.

We all started shouting, "Today is the end of your life, you evil snake!". I wanted to be a hero that night, so I first of all ran to the snake to hit it with my wood. It turned and faced us with red
eyes. Then, I said if I count 1 to 3, we should hit πŸ‘‡
the snake at once which we all agreed. I started counting, 1...2....3 go! Then, Peeeeeeeem! NEPA seized the light and deep darkness covered the room.πŸ˜‚

Omo come and see stamped in the room,πŸ˜‚ the worst part was that non of us remembered where the door was located. My πŸ‘‡
neighbors and I were just jumping haphazardly like reggae dancers on stage because we didn't know whether the snake was close by. Some people climbed chairs while some climbed the center table. Me I found myself on top of the fridge. We were just hitting one another with our πŸ‘‡
sticks thinking it was the snake!πŸ˜‚ If somebody mistakenly touch another person a heavy wood will hit the person with immediate alacrity.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

As I was standing on the fridge, few seconds later something soft touched my ankle!πŸ˜‚ Omo I didn't waste time in hitting the πŸ‘‡
thing with my big stick! Immediately I heard cry in the roomπŸ˜‚ Somebody was shouting "Jesus! My head oo! Who hit me?" It was then I realized that I had hit a human being.πŸ˜‚ I moved blindly forward to console the person then I mistakenly fell from the fridge and my hand touched πŸ‘‡
something that looked like somebody's kneel! Almost immediately a heavy wood landed on my handπŸ˜‚ I shouted "Blood of God who hit me" Papa Emeka shouted "Jesus Jerry no vex na me, I think say na the snake touch me.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Few seconds later Nepa restored power supply and πŸ‘‡
everywhere became bright again. I looked up and saw papa David hanging on the ceiling fan.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

To cut the story short,
we were able to kill the snake, but everyone left the πŸ‘‡
room quietly with swollen body parts! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Did I put smile on your face ?? Cause Dem don batter my own face with iron rod πŸ˜‘..

πŸ‘‰πŸ‘‰ hit the follow botton, lets be mutuals 😊

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More from @philip_george70

2 Jan 21
HOW TO RESPECT YOURSELF IN 2021
1...Stop looking for who is not looking for you.
2... Stop begging.
3...Stop saying more than necessary.
4...When people disrespect you, confront them immediately.
5...Don't eat other people's food more than they eat yours.
6...Reduce how you πŸ‘‡
visit some people, especially if they don't reciprocate it.
7...Invest in yourself. Make yourself happy.
8... Stop entertaining gossip about other people.
9...Think before you talk. 80% of how people value you is what comes out of your mouth.
10... Always look your πŸ‘‡
best. Dress the way you should be addressed.
11... Be an achiever. Get busy with your goals
12...Respect your time.
13... Don't stay in a relationship where you don't feel respected and valued. Walk away.
14... Learn to spend money on yourself. That's how people will learn πŸ‘‡
Read 5 tweets
31 Dec 20
CHOOSE YOUR CONGRATULATIONS IN FAITH BEFORE 1ST JAN. 2021.... YOU CAN CHOOSE MULTIPLE.

1. Congratulations you are pregnant!
2. Congratulations you have been promoted!
3. Congratulations your husband/wife won the contract!
4. Congratulations! Your account πŸ‘‡
has been credited!
5. Congratulations you have been given a scholarship!
6. Congratulations! This is your new Mansion
7. Congratulations! This is your car key.
8. Congratulations! You are traveling to the country of your choice.
9. Congratulations! You are getting πŸ‘‡
Married.
10. Congratulations! It's twins, (Boy and Girl)
11. Congratulations! You just got a federal Job
12. Congratulations! You've got d admission
13. Congratulations! It's πŸ‘‡
Read 4 tweets
16 May 20
"A fowl swallowed a diamond and the owner of the diamond contracted a man to find the fowl and kill it.

When the man arrived at the poultry, there were more than a thousand fowl in the poultry and only one was sitting by itself away from the others. He killed the one πŸ‘‡
sitting by itself and that was the exact one that had swallowed the diamond.

The amazed owner of the diamond asked: "How did you know it was that fowl?"

He responded: "Very easy! When idiots get rich they don't mix πŸ‘‡
with others."

LESSON
When God answers your long awaited prayers, maintain your normal profile. Don't be proud! Be humble!
Read 4 tweets
22 Mar 20
I received this from a relative who got this from an overseas CDC colleague….

The Chinese now understand the behavior of how the virus is transmitted from all the autopsies they have preformed.
The virus obstructs airways and the mucus solidifies in the throat. It blocks πŸ‘‡
the airways and lungs. The only way to get the medication into the patient is to open up a way to get thru the body. (This takes a number of days)

The recommendations to safeguard yourself from the virus is:
1) Drink lots of hot liquids….coffee, tea, soup, warm πŸ‘‡
water . Take a sip of warm liquids every 20mins. This will keep your mouth moist. So any virus that has entered your mouth will go to the stomach. Where the gastric juices will neutralize the virus before it can get to the lungs.

2) Gargle with antiseptic in warm water….πŸ‘‡
Read 9 tweets

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