Thread by @usamasyedMD

💞 I've been married now for over 5 years, so I thought this might be a good time to share 5 tips that I think would be useful for those early on in a relationship, or those just planning ahead! (PS: my wife thankfully doesn't have Twitter, so I can dish the dirt...) 🧵 1/

🙏🏼 1) It is ALWAYS a team effort. It may seem like there's some tasks that only one of you is doing e.g. taxes, bills, making social plans, decorating etc. But the only reason you can spend your time doing that task, is BECAUSE your partner is taking care of other stuff! 2/

⚖️ 2) The 80:80 principle. It will almost ALWAYS feel like you're the one 'doing more' because everyone is more aware of what they themselves do in a day vs others ("availability bias"). So you should EXPECT to feel like you're both doing 80% of the work! (credit @KaleyKlemp!) 3/

🧺 3) NEVER air your 'dirty laundry' in public. When you knee-jerk share the argument you have with a partner in a big what's app group with friends, yes, you'll get a chorus of sympathy. But you'll also then build a small army of people who develop a skewed/negative... 4/

perspective of your life partner (because they don't hear the good days!) You may resolve each of those arguments really quickly, but you've already sent out toxic ripples about your partner in your close circle of friends, which WILL come back to haunt you... 5/

It's best to resolve disputes and talk things through clearly with your own partner, and not let others gain enjoyment through feeling involved in the 'juicy gossip' of your married life (sadly, people can be sick, and truly relish in the 'drama' of others' relationships...) 6/

My wife and I always made this a priority, and always talk out any agreements thoroughly and directly with each other. I truly think it's a big reason behind why we (thankfully) have such a peaceful and healthy relationship. (Note, doesn't apply to abuse or seeking therapy!) 7/

🤝 4) Make friends together. This isn't to say you have to have COMPLETELY overlapping friendships (it's nice to have some time with 'the guys', or 'the girls' by yourself). But if you make an effort to make couples friends together that you both get on with, it makes it ... 9/

so much easier to have a healthy social life, while also getting to spend time together. In so many relationships, issues are caused because a husband/wife ends up so busy with work and seeing 'their' friends, that they end up neglecting their partner. This can help! 10/

💰 5) Be on the same page when it comes to finances. Make sure you agree what your financial goals are (trying to save up for something? want to 'live your life' when younger and save later?) There's no 'right' approach, but you have to BOTH be in agreement ... 11/

Couples end up fighting about finances when there's misalignment between spending priorities. Have open conversations and compromise on a solution. Don't fall into the "It's MY money, I can do what I want with it!" mentality. As I said at the top, EVERYTHING is a team effort! 12/

🤷🏽‍♂️ So those are some quick thoughts! I'm by no means claiming to be a relationship guru here, just thought I'd share on the off chance anyone benefits! Let me know your thoughts! And if you found this useful, consider retweeting to help reach other young budding romantics! 💞