Thread by @vee22n

#TeenSpeak
The kids were snickering over their phone.

Me : What's funny?

Kid#2 : Akka's friend sent her a text.

OH : so what's so funny?

Kid#1 : She said "Heyyyyy", and I replied "hello"

Alright. Let's try this again. Someone says hey, someone replies hello and that's funny?

What did I miss?

Teenspeak 102

A 'heyyy', or a simple hey spelled with multiple 'y' is an enthusiastic greeting.

Replying to that with a hello is like giving someone the cut.

(Pardon me while I take a deep breath)

I make the mistake of asking why 'heyyyyy' merited a 'hello' as a response.

Apparently these characters aren't on talking terms.

So did 'hello' end the conversation?

It didn't. Since it was just 'hello' it was like an indifferent greeting.

A 'hello.' (please note the use of the full stop) is the textual equivalent of a cold shoulder.

(Pardon me while I do a facepalm)

And a 'k' is 'okay' leaving room for further expanding on the subject. 'k.' (note the full stop) means that this conversation is over.

It denotes absolute disinterest and an utter lack of interest in continuing a conversation.

It qualifies as a 'burn'.

What could be worse burn than a full stop?

Typing out your text properly without abbreviations, texting acronyms means you're showing the recipient contempt by not using the camaraderie and warmth of text-speak.

Apparently my refusal to use acronyms and emoji indicate I don't care enough for the recipient of the message.

Really!! Why would I say 'Great, you're welcome!' when I could just make someone's day by making them decipher 'gr8 urwlcm' !!

(Pardon me while I bang my head against the wall)

Think about it, why struggle with a proper sentence when I cn jst skp vwls n mk smne hppy.

Poor M/s Wren and Martin. They must be spinning in their graves.