POLICE: We've caught you trying to rob this bank.
ROBBER: No, you misunderstand. I'm trying to seat an alternate slate of bank account holders.
ROBBER: No, you misunderstand. I'm trying to seat an alternate slate of bank account holders.
POLICE: We found the notes you took on your criminal conspiracy.
CONSPIRATOR: We prefer to think of them as legal memos proving that it’s okay to do crime.
CONSPIRATOR: We prefer to think of them as legal memos proving that it’s okay to do crime.
POLICE: We have a recorded jail call of you arranging drug sales
DEFENDANT: But you can't touch me because I began the call by saying it was legitimate political discourse
DEFENDANT: But you can't touch me because I began the call by saying it was legitimate political discourse
• • •
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