Watching the marches against mandatory vaccination for NHS staff and I'm angry.
A long and rambling thread follows:
A long and rambling thread follows:
I wasn't the first ICU Consultant in my hospital to intubate a COVID patient, but I was close to the front of the first wave, some time in March 2020.
Me and @DaveJMelia went in, in tandem, sweating in unfamiliar PPE.
We'd heard stories of doctors and nurses dying already.
Me and @DaveJMelia went in, in tandem, sweating in unfamiliar PPE.
We'd heard stories of doctors and nurses dying already.
I was frightened, although I'm too much of a fragile ego to have admitted it to anyone.
Working in full PPE is hard, your manual dexterity is compromised, it's hard to see properly through a respirator, and it's really difficult to hear.
The patients needing to be intubated
Working in full PPE is hard, your manual dexterity is compromised, it's hard to see properly through a respirator, and it's really difficult to hear.
The patients needing to be intubated
Drop their oxygen levels frighteningly quickly when you anaesthetise them.
So I was scared for myself, for the team, and scared that my patient might die whilst I hamfistedly tried to function, double gloved and shouting to be heard through masks and above the noise of high
So I was scared for myself, for the team, and scared that my patient might die whilst I hamfistedly tried to function, double gloved and shouting to be heard through masks and above the noise of high
flow oxygen on a CPAP system clamped on the patient's face.
We made sure though that it was two consultants going into the dangerzone of aerosols first, standing at the patients airway.
We wanted to lead by example, to show the whole team that we would take the same risks
We made sure though that it was two consultants going into the dangerzone of aerosols first, standing at the patients airway.
We wanted to lead by example, to show the whole team that we would take the same risks
we expected of them.
One doctor in our hospital died of COVID. Other staff too.
One of my colleagues came out of retirement, despite being at risk, to rejoin the team. He got really sick. We were desperately worried.
An ED reg ended up on CPAP on high oxygen requirements.
One doctor in our hospital died of COVID. Other staff too.
One of my colleagues came out of retirement, despite being at risk, to rejoin the team. He got really sick. We were desperately worried.
An ED reg ended up on CPAP on high oxygen requirements.
I checked on him multiple times a day, watching like a hawk.
Thankfully they both fully recovered.
Many others got sick too, although thankfully not as bad.
It was a a hard brutal year. Many people have shared stories of what critical care was like, I'm not a good enough
Thankfully they both fully recovered.
Many others got sick too, although thankfully not as bad.
It was a a hard brutal year. Many people have shared stories of what critical care was like, I'm not a good enough
Writer to try to tell my experience, many have told their stories better of what it was like to watch the dying and their loved ones, sometimes only on a screen.
It was, not to mince words, fucking brutal.
Some things we will bury deep, faces of dead mothers and babies, sobs
It was, not to mince words, fucking brutal.
Some things we will bury deep, faces of dead mothers and babies, sobs
On a phone line, begging and pleading.
Husbands and wives dying side by side in neighbouring beds.
More than I can, or choose to, remember.
Husbands and wives dying side by side in neighbouring beds.
More than I can, or choose to, remember.
When on the 8th December, the first vaccine was given in the UK, we clamoured to find out when we could get ours. I'd seen too many patients, younger than me with minimal medical history, get sick, stuck for weeks on a ventilator, sometimes dying.
Get that needle into me ASAP
Get that needle into me ASAP
The vaccine hub in our hospital did a wet run to trial process, I was lucky enough to be asked to be in the trial, and got my first dose just before Christmas 2020.
Same for second dose, same for booster.
As soon as I could, I was in the chair, with my pasty arms out and ready
Same for second dose, same for booster.
As soon as I could, I was in the chair, with my pasty arms out and ready
I was never a great researcher. I don't have the right mindset for it. But I've worked alongside some amazing research scientists and doctors along my career.
I have faith in the scientific community, and they pulled an absolute blinder that year.
To have vaccines on the
I have faith in the scientific community, and they pulled an absolute blinder that year.
To have vaccines on the
Market in under a year within the normal study framework for a novel therapeutic shows the power of innovation and science, particularly when red tape is stripped out and cash thrown at a problem.
As time went past, the vaccine didn't stop spread as we hoped it might do, but
As time went past, the vaccine didn't stop spread as we hoped it might do, but
Bloody hell, is it good at stopping a lot of people getting sick and drowning ICUs 
People argue we don't have long term data on the vaccine.
That's true. But we don't have long term data on sequelae of natural infection either.
There's some early data though that it's not innocuous. The link with children and diabetes particularly worries me for my kids
That's true. But we don't have long term data on sequelae of natural infection either.
There's some early data though that it's not innocuous. The link with children and diabetes particularly worries me for my kids
That's why they've all been vaccinated too.
Plus watching them struggle with missing school, particularly one battling through GCSEs largely rudderless, was heartbreaking, and I don't want that to ever happen to them if possible.
Plus watching them struggle with missing school, particularly one battling through GCSEs largely rudderless, was heartbreaking, and I don't want that to ever happen to them if possible.
So, watching healthcare staff who have refused to take this vaccine, when they knew they would be around vulnerable patients who could be at risk from them, protesting, butters no parsnips for me.
We've ALWAYS had mandatory requirements to work, including vaccination.
We've ALWAYS had mandatory requirements to work, including vaccination.
No-one gave a toss about that before.
If you'd caught HIV or Hep B from me because I couldn't be arsed to protect against that risk due to a tiny chance of risk to myself, I'd have been drummed out of town, and rightly so.
Every day in clinical work comes with risk
If you'd caught HIV or Hep B from me because I couldn't be arsed to protect against that risk due to a tiny chance of risk to myself, I'd have been drummed out of town, and rightly so.
Every day in clinical work comes with risk
I've been punched, had blood spat in my eyes, bitten, intimidated by gangs trying to stab each other in clinical areas.
I've had to take PEP after needle sticks, take antibiotics after exposure to infected patients.
Colleagues have had teeth knocked loose, bones broken
I've had to take PEP after needle sticks, take antibiotics after exposure to infected patients.
Colleagues have had teeth knocked loose, bones broken
Been hospitalised, left the profession burnt out. One lost vision in an eye from an infection caught from a patient.
One colleague crashed his motorcycle fatigued and died.
I'm into double figures for healthcare staff I've worked with who took their own lives. Also one murdered
One colleague crashed his motorcycle fatigued and died.
I'm into double figures for healthcare staff I've worked with who took their own lives. Also one murdered
Everything we do comes with risk. The world is not risk free.
But a tiny risk to me, to protect my patients, is a no brainer.
I'm not hugely comfortable that we have had to mandate this vaccine, because it smells a bit authoritarian, and God knows I trust this government
But a tiny risk to me, to protect my patients, is a no brainer.
I'm not hugely comfortable that we have had to mandate this vaccine, because it smells a bit authoritarian, and God knows I trust this government
About as far as I could throw them when it comes to civil liberties.
But the fact that some healthcare staff have chosen, despite watching what we saw over two years, not to protect their patients from the risk of them being unvaccinated, when they had no clue as to the risk
But the fact that some healthcare staff have chosen, despite watching what we saw over two years, not to protect their patients from the risk of them being unvaccinated, when they had no clue as to the risk
Shows why we have to have some mandatory conditions to be afforded to privilege to work with the most vulnerable.
It's ok to be frightened, for ourselves, for our kids.
But it's not ok to expect to have risk free professional lives at the expense of risking our patient's safety
It's ok to be frightened, for ourselves, for our kids.
But it's not ok to expect to have risk free professional lives at the expense of risking our patient's safety
If that's where you're at as a healthcare worker, you don't deserve to stand side by side with us who swallowed our fear and managed our risk, when we didn't know if we'd pay in the hardest way possible.
So for melodramatic flourish:
So for melodramatic flourish:
"For he to-day that sheds his blood with me,
Shall be my brother"
And he who flogs his grift off of inducing anxiety, shall expect me to poo in his theatre clogs when left in the changing room.
And I shall have had a lamb phall in anticipation.
Shall be my brother"
And he who flogs his grift off of inducing anxiety, shall expect me to poo in his theatre clogs when left in the changing room.
And I shall have had a lamb phall in anticipation.
@sorcha_b you know
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