Thread by @beckyfarbs

I have a story to tell about being a woman in academia that I've never told before. I was reminded of it as I've been revisiting some old academic research as I begin new thinking on these datasets. #womeninacademia #femisism #Archaeology 1/

For background, I finished my PhD in 2009, held a series of postdocs, and then stepped away from academia in 2016, for various reasons. 2/

After I finished my PhD and was doing my postdocs, I think I was fairly well respected for the research I did. I had several high impact publications and was frequently an invited speaker at conferences. 3/

One more bit of background information. I'm confident. I'm a good public speaker. It takes a lot to rattle me. 4/

So I recently found a recording of me speaking at a very prestigious conference a few years after I finished my PhD. I was invited to speak as an expert in the field. 5/

I was, at the time of this conference, a junior scholar, 29 years old, but at the start of what was looking like it would be a pretty successful career. 6/

I finished my paper and was answering questions. The final "question" came from a very senior, male scholar in the field. He stood up and for 4 minutes, shredded and degraded my work in a back-handed, condescending way. 7/

He didn't have a question. He just wanted to stand up and make sure everyone heard him speak. This is very common. It did not rattle me. I let him finish and began to respond to a few of his points. 8/

After about 45 seconds of me replying, he cut me off and said "well, that's all well and good, sweetie, but it's just kid's stuff." 9/

And after that? Nothing. Nobody stood up and told him he was out of line. Nobody called out what had just happened. Why? Because it happened all the time. I'm not sure anyone even thought he had done anything wrong. 10/

Nobody said anything to me at coffee later, nobody told him to knock it off or stop being a misogynistic jerk, and he certainly never apologised to me or acknowledged how out of line he had been. 11/

Looking back, I wish I had stood behind that podium and told him he was completely out of line. 12/

I didn't. Because I was petrified, not of him, but of the entire institution that supported and continues to support people who behave that way. 13/

He is not why I left academia. But the underlying culture of academia, that supports (and champions) people like that is such a nasty, but widely accepted and seemingly unbreakable part of academia, and I didn't want to be part of it. 14/

It's so embedded in the culture that I am confident almost every female academic is able to share a similar experience, and many have endured so much worse. Until this changes, academia will remain deeply toxic and abusive to women. /END

Last thing from me on this. I don't believe the solution would be to name and shame this individual. I also don't believe it would have been at all viable for me, at that point in my career, to scream at him that he was a jerk and storm off. 1/3

I would have been told I was unprofessional. People would have said I had been overly emotional in my reaction to "critique." Someone probably would have said I discredited myself by doing that. Here's what DOES need to happen: 2/3

Next time this happens (there WILL be a next time), if you are a male scholar, you need to stand up. Walk over to the offender. Take the mic away from them. Call out what they are doing. And make them apologise, right there, in front of their colleagues. 3/3

This blew up in a way I didn't expect. This is usually the part where people try to sell something, but I have nothing to sell. Instead, I'll share what I've learned today: there is a very large collective of people who agree that this sort of behaviour is not okay. (Appendix A)

Thank you to everyone who was brave enough to share part of their own story. I hope reading this thread gives people the confidence to stand up more often and push back against bullies (of all sexes and genders). (Appendix B)

It's also clear to me that many people agree that academia can be abusive and toxic. As someone who voluntarily stepped away from it, I have had conversations since I left academia, with many people who also want to leave but are afraid. (Appendix C)

I can say, from the other side, with great confidence, I have never once regretted my decision. Our worth as humans is not tied to our CVs, our publications, and our academic appointments. (Appendix D)

Happiness, fulfillment, and success can be found anywhere. They also have to be found within ourselves, but it's difficult to do that within environments, systems, and institutions that are built around tearing our colleagues down to gain influence. (Appendix E)

It was liberating for me to walk away from the game of trying to gain more clout by knocking down someone else's research in an effort to conspicuously prove you know more. (Appendix F)

I will always love archaeology. Some of the best moments of my life happened on fieldwork, with some of my great archaeologist friends. Luckily, one can be an archaeologist without being part of academia, and true friends don't care what is, or isn't, on your CV. (Appendix G)