The CIA has done A LOT of crazy shit over the years.
But perhaps the craziest?
When they implanted a microphone in a cat's ear and a radio transmitter in her skull so that she could spy on the Soviets in the 1960s.
A thread on the CIA's disastrous "Project Acoustic Kitty":
You ever hear the phrase "curiosity killed the cat"?
Well, what it suggests is...if you're TOO nosey...then you could get yourself into serious trouble.
The phrase works, of course, because of a cats' very curious nature...
A nature the CIA oh-so-badly wanted to exploit.
The CIA's plan?
Slice a cat open, stuff it with a microphone, sew it shut, and let it do its thing:
That is, train the cat to "curiously" - and seemingly innocently - saunter around foreign officials and transmit nearly everything they were saying to CIA operatives.
But it wouldn't be easy.
How could we convert a feline into an eavesdropping cyborg spy, the CIA thought, without making it obvious?
Surely a cat limping around as if it had a damn radio transmitter stuck in its ribs would alert a room full of Soviets...right?
So, with the help of a team of audio equipment contractors, the CIA spent five years…yep FIVE YEARS engineering a circuit of spy technology that could be discreetly and safely installed in a cat’s body.
And once the tech was ready, Operation Acoustic Kitty was all systems go.
The first "volunteer"?
A gray-and-white female.
And over the course of a 1-hour surgery, she was fully equipped with:
•A 3/4-inch transmitter embedded at the base of her skull
•A microphone installed in her ear canal
•An antenna laid under her fur that ran down her spine
But after the anesthesia wore off and the poor thing woke up from her operation, the CIA was sorely disappointed with her inability to spy.
She'd constantly wander off during her trainings, proving utterly unable to sit still, let alone record foreign adversaries' conversations.
Did we make a mistake, the CIA thought?
Maybe.
But, even if they thought their bionic kitty wasn't ready for the field, the thought of scrapping the operation was simply untenable.
Enter: the Sunk Cost Fallacy.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy describes our propensity to follow through with projects that have cost us our time and money, even if the costs outweigh the benefits.
And the CIA?
Well, they had poured $20 MILLION into Project Acoustic Kitty...and they weren't ready to give up yet.
So without further ado, five years and $20 million later, the "spy" was sent into the field for her first official test.
The CIA drove her to the park where she’d record the conversation of two folks sitting on a bench.
If she were to pass, she'd be ready for the Soviets.
But ready she’d be not.
Instead of eavesdropping on the pair, she wandered off into the streets where she was struck and killed by a taxi driver.
Operatives rushed to the scene to pick up her remains…microphone, antenna, and all.
By 1967, Operation Acoustic Kitty was scrapped.
"Our final examination of trained cats…" a redacted CIA report reads, "convinced us that the program would not lend itself to a practical sense to our highly specialized needs."
Yeah…no shit.
But naturally, some have tried defending the failure that was Project Acoustic Kitty.
The same CIA memo mentions that their discovery that "cats can indeed be trained to move short distances" was "in itself a remarkable scientific achievement."
Hmm. Not sure about that...
But what can we be sure about?
In 1967, it wasn’t curiosity that killed the cat.
It was the CIA.
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