The CIA has done A LOT of crazy shit over the years.
But perhaps the craziest?
When they implanted a microphone in a cat's ear and a radio transmitter in her skull so that she could spy on the Soviets in the 1960s.
A thread on the CIA's disastrous "Project Acoustic Kitty":
You ever hear the phrase "curiosity killed the cat"?
Well, what it suggests is...if you're TOO nosey...then you could get yourself into serious trouble.
The phrase works, of course, because of a cats' very curious nature...
A nature the CIA oh-so-badly wanted to exploit.
The CIA's plan?
Slice a cat open, stuff it with a microphone, sew it shut, and let it do its thing:
That is, train the cat to "curiously" - and seemingly innocently - saunter around foreign officials and transmit nearly everything they were saying to CIA operatives.
But it wouldn't be easy.
How could we convert a feline into an eavesdropping cyborg spy, the CIA thought, without making it obvious?
Surely a cat limping around as if it had a damn radio transmitter stuck in its ribs would alert a room full of Soviets...right?
So, with the help of a team of audio equipment contractors, the CIA spent five years…yep FIVE YEARS engineering a circuit of spy technology that could be discreetly and safely installed in a cat’s body.
And once the tech was ready, Operation Acoustic Kitty was all systems go.
The first "volunteer"?
A gray-and-white female.
And over the course of a 1-hour surgery, she was fully equipped with:
•A 3/4-inch transmitter embedded at the base of her skull
•A microphone installed in her ear canal
•An antenna laid under her fur that ran down her spine
But after the anesthesia wore off and the poor thing woke up from her operation, the CIA was sorely disappointed with her inability to spy.
She'd constantly wander off during her trainings, proving utterly unable to sit still, let alone record foreign adversaries' conversations.
Did we make a mistake, the CIA thought?
Maybe.
But, even if they thought their bionic kitty wasn't ready for the field, the thought of scrapping the operation was simply untenable.
Enter: the Sunk Cost Fallacy.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy describes our propensity to follow through with projects that have cost us our time and money, even if the costs outweigh the benefits.
And the CIA?
Well, they had poured $20 MILLION into Project Acoustic Kitty...and they weren't ready to give up yet.
So without further ado, five years and $20 million later, the "spy" was sent into the field for her first official test.
The CIA drove her to the park where she’d record the conversation of two folks sitting on a bench.
If she were to pass, she'd be ready for the Soviets.
But ready she’d be not.
Instead of eavesdropping on the pair, she wandered off into the streets where she was struck and killed by a taxi driver.
Operatives rushed to the scene to pick up her remains…microphone, antenna, and all.
By 1967, Operation Acoustic Kitty was scrapped.
"Our final examination of trained cats…" a redacted CIA report reads, "convinced us that the program would not lend itself to a practical sense to our highly specialized needs."
Yeah…no shit.
But naturally, some have tried defending the failure that was Project Acoustic Kitty.
The same CIA memo mentions that their discovery that "cats can indeed be trained to move short distances" was "in itself a remarkable scientific achievement."
Hmm. Not sure about that...
But what can we be sure about?
In 1967, it wasn’t curiosity that killed the cat.
It was the CIA.
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Follow @DavidZabinsky for more rarely-told stories like this one.
Cold War era stories are some of my favorite stories.
If you're like me, then you'll love the one below: the time Pepsi sold their cola to the Soviets for WARSHIPS.
Also, with the help of some remarkable entrepreneurs from all over the world, I'm fortunate enough to help tell stories of founders from the likes of The Gambia, Pakistan, Cameroon, Vietnam, and more on my podcast:
You ever win a stuffed animal playing the claw machine game at an arcade?
Well in 1974, the CIA played a claw machine game of their own...except it wasn't at an arcade.
It was in the Pacific Ocean.
And the prize wasn't a stuffed animal.
It was a Soviet submarine.
A story👇:
We start in April of 1968.
The Americans noticed countless Soviet ships circling - almost aimlessly - in the Pacific Ocean, somewhere in the vicinity of Hawaii.
It appeared to be some sort of search mission.
But the Americans wondered, worryingly...
A search mission for WHAT?
That is, what the hell could the Soviets be looking for that would cause them to frantically deploy nearly every resource their Navy had to the Pacific Ocean?
1/4: Pakistan's agriculture industry is a $60-$100 BILLION industry.
And because the farm to table supply chain in Pakistan is so damn inefficient (and inequitable), it's become... ripe for disruption.
Pun intended.
Watch the video below to learn more:
2/4: By harnessing the power of technology, @Tazahtech (who just closed Pakistan's biggest pre-seed raise EVER) is connecting the country's farmers with the country's retailers.
A result?
Farmers earn more...less food is wasted...and end consumers pay less at the grocery store.
3/4: With over 8 million farmers and nearly 2 million food retailers throughout Pakistan, it's safe to say that Tazah's TAM is...pretty, pretty huge.
Well, if you did, then you'd be the first in the world to crack this indecipherable code...a code that would reveal the whereabouts of $80 million worth of buried treasure.
Fact? Fiction?
To this date...no one knows.
Time for a story👇:
We start with some history.
It was the early 1800s.
Thomas Beale and 30 of his adventure-seeking friends headed west from Virginia on a boys' trip to go hunt some buffalo.
But buffalo wasn't the only thing they'd find.
They'd find gold. And silver.
Shitloads of it.
So Beale and his friends?
They started digging. And before they knew it, they had themselves a stack of precious metals.
Beale wrote:
"Every one was diligently at work with such tools and appliances as they had improvised, and quite a little pile had already accumulated."