Thread by @Sir_Samuel

After Royal Rumble I got excited for the idea of an #AEW Rumble so thought I'd do a Rumble Randomiser and see what would happen.
Threw in 30 top guys songs & stuck it on shuffle, for the most part, ignored tag guys and AEW Champ Adam Page.
Here is how it all goes down:

1. First out The King of Sloth Style Orange Cassidy.
A great first entrant, able to meander to the ring and will no doubt be a featured performer as the match goes on.

2. John Silver
Two crowd favourites getting some shine early. Even though it isn't huge on star power I love this opening pair. They would have time to do some comedy and also a fun working sequence.

Huge return!
3. Kenny Omega makes his long awaited return from injury.
How is he after his lay off?
How has losing the AEW Championship affected him?
No time to answer those questions as he blasts both OC & Silver with V-Triggers and Snap-Dragon Suplexes.

4. Rey Fenix
And to match the ramp up in athleticism Rey Fenix comes to the ring, ready to tight rope walk the top rope with the highest of stakes (that spot would be incredible in a rumble).

And the initial ramp up continues as
5. THE AMERICAN DRAGON Bryan Danielson comes to the ring to face off with Kenny Omega, further teasing a future match for the two before turning his attention to OC & Rey Fenix, two guys I'd be very keen to see him lock up with.

Before anyone gets too happy, it's time for
6. MJF
And the crowd immediately turns into a cesspool of hate.
Would be an interesting dynamic at this point with Omega & Danielson dominating I wonder how MJF would insert himself.
Probably hide in the corner.

Well if he was hiding, here is someone who would make a beeline for him to flush him out.
7. Darby Allin
This would also put Darby in the ring with Omega, Danielson & Fenix, three people I would love to see him tease things out with. How have we not got those matches yet?

And it's a third pillar in a row as the crowd rises for Baltimora and
8. Jungle Boy.
I imagine people would be getting eliminated at this point but a spot with Darby & JB ganging up on MJF would be a must.

9. Ricky Starks
Who would probably be a nice ally for MJF if he had survived up to this point, I could see them ganging up to get the upper hand. That or have him involved in some sort of pretty boy comedy spot.

Not an entrance but I just thought how Fenix is gonna be eliminated: V-Trigger or Busaku knee while walking the ropes.

And how does Shuffle book so well
10. Powerhouse Hobbs
Team Tazz is in with consecutive spots and ready to take over the Rumble.
I would have Hobbs in particular run wild on some folk, maybe even getting the elimination of Jungle Boy to set up a Team Tazz feud for JB & JE

BOOM
11. Adam Cole
After some more midcard/future star acts it's time to ramp up again with Adam Cole coming into the ring.
Great story opportunity he could create a tentative alliance with Kenny Omega. Have them really tease things out. Give me that sweet sweet Elite Drama.

Straight away this new force of Omega/Cole would have a natural rival with the entrance of
12. PAC
The awesome thing about AEW is how fleshed out the characters are, this rumble is writing itself and this entrance would be a perfect example.

Lucky 13 is a suprprise entrant
13. NICK FREAKIN' GAGE
Yes, the deathmatch king makes his return to AEW as a surprise and immediately goes after everyone.
I wonder how Light Tubes would go in a Rumble?

I also love to think MJF is still in the ring at this point, he tries to pal up with Gage, reviving their previous partnership and Gage instead decks him and eliminates him to set up a match between the two.
Crowd would pop huge for that too.

And from a man who does violence with weapons to a man who does violence with his body.
14. The Redeemer MIRO!
A true force to be reckoned with making his return and flattening everyone.
God I love his theme.

But the violence ramps up again as the crowd goes mental for
15. Eddie Kingston
Eddie immediately reignites his beef with Miro before turning to Nick Gage. If there are weapons in the ring it's safe to assume these two would be unloading on each other with absolute fury.

Things are really breaking down after a real work rate heavy beginning to the rumble and that will only continue with
16. Lance Archer
The anarchy continues but I think I'd have Archer do the ol' eliminated quickly before getting back in and flattening whoever did it in revenge.

Now the star of stars enters
17. Cody Rhodes
I have no idea how Cody would fit into what is going on but I think I'd bring Kenny & Cole back into the forefront at this point to tease some conflict with Cody.
We haven't seen Cody interact with The Elite since 2020, long time....

18. Brandon Cutler
One of my geeks gets an entrance, Brandon Cutler.
I was kind of hoping he'd be 30 lol.
Seriously though, Rumbles need levity and after my Gage/Kingston/Archer/Miro mayhem in the 10s I think we could use some humor.

But that tone wouldn't stay for long with
19. Sammy G
You'd think with a relatively late entrance Sammy would be a good shot. I would certainly give him some death defying near-elimination spots.

And Sammy is joined by a team member
20. Chris Jericho
This would be a seriously good combo. Rumbles are always awesome when you see teams forming and this would be a natural one to have.
How does Spotify shuffle book so well?

And Sammy has someone to fly with too
21. Dante Martin.
I would probably just put them in a game of one upmanship between who can do the most wild near elimination spot.

22. Daniel Garcia
Another young gun to come in.
This is actually a fantastic procession of guys to fill this chapter of the match before the final entrants come in and the numbers thin out.

And safe to say the final players are beginning to enter with:
23. Malakai Black
From this position he has to be a new favourite. Straight up I would have him eliminate Cody and given he is coming in at this point, I think he would make my final four.

24. CM PUNK
Crowd goes mental as Punk comes out for his first Rumble since he left WWE.
So many options in the ring for him but I would immediately square him off with Cody Rhodes. Maybe these two can do the spot where they brawl so hard they eliminate themselves & keep going.

Not quite the same level star next
25. QT Marshall
On second thoughts, maybe I have QT tip Punk and Cody over the ropes while they brawl, celebrate and then walk into a Spinning Heel Kick from Malakai.

Followed by the 100% certain winner
26. HOOK!
Seriously though I would have him immediately square up with the other young guns that are still in the match, Garcia, Sammy, Dante.
This would be awesome and the crowd would go mental for him in a rumble.

27. Andrade El Idolo
Another guy you have to think would factor in the late game of the Rumble with this kind of number.
It would be exactly the kind of thing his character would need to launch him to the upper echelons of the company.

Really getting down to the nitty gritty here with
28. WARDLOW
With MJF gone it theoretically frees the War Dog up to fight for himself which would be a very cool prospect and would be a great story if he won or even came close to winning.

Seriously how does Spotify do this?
Wardlow immediately has someone to eliminate and put everyone on notice with:
29. Shawn Spears

And last but not least (I swear this is just shuffle and not me planning it)
30. JOOOOOONNNNNN MOXLEY
Yep, the final stages of the Rumble are entered into with the former AEW Champ coming in at 30 ready to take on anyone left in the ring.

As per previous randomised Rumbles here winner is determined by a final hit of the shuffle button.

With a final four of
Jon Moxley
Malakai Black
Sammy Guevera
CM Punk
The winner of the inaugural AEW Rumble and new number 1 contender is.......

CM PUNK!

A fitting victor although a small part of me hoped it would play Brandon Cutler's theme 🤣
Thanks to everyone who has read this far.
If you enjoyed it you should do it yourself, post it & tag me, would love to read. It's crazy how shuffle creates some really cool organic stories.

Also since this is getting some awesome shares, if you saw this and like match breakdowns then check out my podcast The AEW Match Guide Podcast where I deep dive into awesome AEW matches.
redcircle.com/shows/aew-matc…

Lastly I'm struggling to keep up with all the comments on this.
Thanks to everyone who commented, shared and enjoyed it. If I didn't get back to you I'm sorry, I really appreciate it.