Thread by @Rrrrnessa

Here's something you probably would never guess about me but I used to be an incredibly shy and timid person.

I was afraid of my own shadow, it seemed. I don't know when it precisely changed or how it happened, but I started to speak up and speak out. I became me.

But when I was a very shy and timid person, I was also extremely conflict avoidant. I was the peacekeeper. I didn't stand up to my friends. I never rocked the boat. I didn't share my opinions and I was so incredibly anxious all the time.

It's so strange to look back and think about it because I don't even know that person. I'm unbelievably confident. I'm constantly speaking out, in person and online. I have an absurd amount of phenomenal friendships and relationships. I'm deeply liked and loved by people.

I know, what an arrogant thing to say. That I'm deeply liked but I am. I walk in any room and easily make friends. Now, this isn't to say that absolutely everyone loves me, or even likes me, or even just cares for me. The difference is that I no longer care if they do or don't.

I made friends with a local shop owner who made me a curry dish from his area and brought in it knowing I would stop by so I could try it. Then, I made him some pita.

I had a new neighbour move in and we shared music playlists with each other & now I'm invited to his bday party

I worked on a project 7 months ago and made such an impression on a colleague that even though we have literally nothing in common, we stayed friends and talk every week.

I was friendly with the local butcher who now gives me ideas for dinner and literally gets in veal specifically because I like it, as nobody in the area ever buys it or requests. When I make something he recommended, he makes me come back so we can discuss if it went well or not.

My daughter is pretty shy too but she has a friend at school she loves and wants her to come over so I become friendly with the mom and we bond over being refugees. Now she trusts me enough to have her daughter come over to our place.

I went out one night with a random stranger I met on Bumble BFF, had an amazing time, and then I met a bunch of other people there and invited all to my party. They all came, we had a blast, and we still talk and hang out on occasion.

There are tons of stories like this, the point is I stopped being shy. I started saying everything that was on my mind and I started caring less about what people thought of me.

When I first got a little bit of a platform on Twitter, I wasn't yet the woman I am today. So, I remember my first "viral post" and the hate I got. I remember how my stomach dropped at the things people were saying. It physically hurt to read lies and know people didn't like me.

People talk so much shit about me now and I have been the subject of some of the world's funniest rumours, both on social media and IRL...and guess what? It doesn't impact me at all. I mainly laugh it off. Or I block and move on. 10 years ago, I would've cried.

This isn't just about personal stuff either. My career has improved so much by my ability to beat my shyness and let go of my fear. I've had arguments with politicians. I have yelled at CEOs. I have disagreed with people signing my paycheque! Respectfully enough, ofc, but still.

I've stood up to police officers harassing people. I've argued with racists in public. I've stood up and yelled at men bothering and even abusing women in public. Me, the person who absolutely refused to say anything to anyone when she was younger. Who was just too scared to.

& when I was shy and timid, I had "friends" who I never stood up to, who weren't ever really my friends. While I spent my time appeasing them, they spent theirs disparaging me. Now, I have friends who would go to war for me. Literally.

Or elders. My god, how nice and sweet I was to the worst humans possible simply because they were older and I had to respect them. That changed. I speak out against anyone who I find it toxic, old or young, especially if they're hurting someone I love. I say what's on my mind.

This is a long diatribe, I know. But the point is that you can and will change. I hope you do. I hope you know that you can break out of your shell. That there is an entire world ready to greet exactly who you are and welcome you with open arms.

There are friends you haven't made yet but you will and they will be the best thing to happen to you. There are people you haven't had the strength to stand up to but one day you'll find it and it will feel so good. One day, you won't be that scared. One day you will become YOU.

There are so many things that have led to me becoming the person that I am. 10-15 years ago, I don't think I liked myself very much. I was someone curated for other's existence. But now, I am me and I live for me and I make mistakes for me and I learn for me and I never give up.

Anyway. Change is so beautiful. I am so proud of myself. I am so happy constantly and all the time, even when I'm in a big depression hole. I'm so excited always for the future...and I am so glad I found my voice and that I speak out. I'm in awe of myself, some days.

So, you know...call me arrogant or a narcissist or over-confident or whatever. I've been the shy, timid, self-depreciating, lost little girl and I will never go back to shrinking & dulling myself down to make others comfortable. I'm great & those who know it, shine with me too.