Thread by @nootnoot345

"WHERE IS MY DAMN WIFE? GET ME MY FUCKING WIFE!!"
Kirshima blinked in confusion as he stood at the door of the room, listening in.

https://twitter.com/KacchakoPrompts/status/1488088552562855936

"Ok, weird is an understatement. When you said he was acting weird, I thought you meant like he was giving out compliments. Not that he suddenly thought he had a wife," the redhead sighed.

Midoriya chuckled nervously, "The quirk that hit him was just identified as something that replaces the current you with a future you," he gulped and turned to look at the door to the hospital room, "He's been screaming for a wife since he woke up."

Kirshima pursed his lips in thought, "Any guesses for the wife?"
Midoriya nervously scratched the back of his neck as a pair of boots stomped down the hallway coming toward them.
"Came as fast as I could! There's an emergency?" Uraraka panted lightly.

"There's been a quirk accident," Midoriya opened, "Nothing serious, but Bakugou got hit by some weird quirk and we need you to pretend to be his wife."
Uraraka coughed in surprise and looked between the two men.

"They uhh, don't know the details of the quirk," Kirishima added after quickly meeting Midoriya's eyes, "Docs just think that going along with it might help snap him out of it without it doing any neurological damage."
Midoriya raised an eyebrow before shrugging and nodding.

"Yup, you just have to talk to him for some time to calm him down so he'll sleep the night in a less tense state, and the quirk should release." Midoriya finished.
Uraraka gulped, still taking in all the information.
"He's not hurt? And they don't know the quirk details?"

"Nope." Kirishima said, popping the last note.
"And he thinks /I'm/ his wife?" she confirmed, eyes wide.
"Yup." Midoriya followed suit by emphasizing the p.

So weird," Uraraka murmured, her brows knitted, "Ok, I'll do it. Whatever snaps him out of it the fastest. He wouldn't wanna miss even a day of work." she paused for a moment with her hand on the door. She took in a deep breath that led to a nervous laugh and opened the door.

As soon as the door closed again, the boys outside turned to each other.
"So we're just not gonna tell her future Kacchan is in there?"
"It's the future! If we tell her, what if it changes? Might be his only shot at the love of his life! Depriving him of that isn't very manly."

Midoriya murmured something to himself about how if it was the future, then surely it's already happened and that either way, he's seen how Uraraka looks at his childhood friend, so there's a pretty good chance that the feelings are already requited.

Kirishima leaned against the now closed door, keeping an ear out for the conversation within.
"We're just gonna spy on them too?" Midoriya whispered but joined Kirishima with his ear to the door.

"I'm gonna need details to make a speech at their wedding!" Kirishima exclaimed with a grin.
Midoriya sighed. He'd need a speech too. For a wedding that's apparently already happened in Bakugou's timeline.
---

Uraraka took in Bakugou's seated form as she walked in. It didn't seem like he had any serious injuries remaining after the healing quirk procedures. There were just a few scratches lining his neck and face.

Her concern softened into a smile when she met his eyes and watched him gulp as a small blush dusted his ears.
"Finally. You think these fuckers would know to get me my damn wife when asked the first time," he croaked, voice hoarse.

Uraraka's breath quickened.
Right, she's supposed to pretend to be his wife. Somehow the man she'd quickly developed feelings for after graduation got hit by a quirk that made him think he was married to her.

She wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. She'd be such a good pretend wife that he'll want to real wife her when he recovers.
"They just got through to me on patrol, /Katsuki/," she said his name how she'd practiced it, giggling like a school girl in the middle of the night.

Besides, if they were married, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to call each other by first name.
His eyes widened for a moment before his usual scowl replaced it as if he had to remember to brush off her honeyed voice.

"Right," he gulped, "forgot you were on schedule today... Quirk hit and shit. Idiots tried to tell me I didn't have a wife when I woke up," he scoffed and made a little grabby motion, raising an arm.

Heat rushed to her face as she shuffled toward him. She stopped right beside the bed, her legs leaning into the stiff mattress.
Bakugou's hand went to her forearm before trailing down to her fingers. His shoulders untensed as his thumb pressed into the tip of her index finger.

"You know how the extras are. Getting confused in emergencies," she smiled, thinking about how husband Bakugou would tell his wife about the extras. "So, you're ok?" she asked, her eyes stuck on where their fingers met.

His thumb pressed lightly before moving in small circles, feeling the roughness of his skin against hers.
He rolled his eyes lazily, "No shit. We're pros. Been doin this for years. You'd think they'd know by now some kid with a random quirk ain't gonna bring me down."

She hummed in a relaxed response ignoring the fact that they'd only graduated last year and Bakugou was speaking like it had been many years.
Maybe the wife thing was related.
"Not wearing yer ring." He lingered on her ring finger, lightly bringing the finger to his lips.

Her eyes widened and her breath turned shallow as she felt the softness of his mouth on her hand. She found herself starting to panic. Of course, if they were married, she'd have a ring.

She laughed shakily, "Yeah, that quirk still scrambled you a little, huh? You know I always put it by the bed before a shift!"
She really hoped the hypothetical home that Bakugou thought they lived in had a bedroom with side tables.

He quickly looked up at her and furrowed his brows for a moment before nodding, "Right. Yea. Wouldn't want villains trying to rob you for the gigantic ring I got you," he smirked at her almost knowingly.
Even with the quirk, he's still a show-off.

She rolled her eyes, "You know I would've been happy with a tiny ring as long as I get to marry you." Returning his smirk, she batted big brown eyes and held his gaze.
Flustered, Bakugou grumbled and looked away for a moment.

"Yeah, well, if I ain't gonna spoil my perfect fuckin' wife, who will?" He scoffed.
She blinked a few times.
Perfect.
Fuckin'.
Wife.

Ugh, did this stupid quirk make him charming too? He really didn't need anything else going for him. Uraraka was already hooked in by his confidence, stuck on his smirks and smiles, and far too deep into those intense eyes.

That didn't even touch how she felt about those biceps the size of her thighs.
Whatever this quirk was, Uraraka knew she wanted the real thing.
---

"I have new information about the quirk that hit Bakugou," Todoroki said over the phone and Midoriya's eyes went wide. "The warehouse was housing quirk suppressing drugs, not enhancing ones. The power of the quirk that hit Bakugou would've been weakened atleast tenfold."

Midoriya sputtered for a moment before recovering, "So the quirk should've worn off by now?"
"It's already worn off according to the villain. A tattoo appears on his arm when his quirk is active and that tattoo hasn't been present for hours now." Todoroki confirmed.

"But... But Kacchan kept asking for his wife just half an hour ago! He called for Ochako specifically so I called her in! You're telling me that he's faking it?!" Midoriya's voice raised.

Kirishima inhaled sharply before bursting out into a belly clenching laugh as he listened to Midoriya's half of the conversation.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm implying. Perhaps our friend has a reason to fake the effects of the quirk?" Todoroki pondered.
---

Since they graduated UA a year ago, Bakugou had been hit by quite a few quirks on patrol and missions. Mostly, they were some physical quirk that left him battered and bruised.
This was a new one for him.

In the first hour he was hit, he felt like he was sharing his body by a familiar but distinct identity. He couldn't speak but he heard his own voice in his ears.
He kept asking for his wife and trying to figure out where he was.

Both Bakugous figured out quickly that the bigger question was when he was.
After a beat, future Bakugou asked the medical staff for a piece of paper and started writing:

/Got married to Ochako at age 26. Don't fuck this up or I'm gonna come back and kick your ass./
Bakugou scoffed internally. Future him couldn't come back without the help of this quirk and he'd have to kick his own ass, and Bakugou would love to see even his future self try that.

Still, he read the note over and over again, clutching it in his hands when just a few minutes later, he felt like he was back to his normal self.
He wouldn't fuck this up.

After all, he'd been carefully watching Uraraka's every move since the day she punted a baseball into space, and even as they worked together more after graduation, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her strength and the way she commanded the attention of the world.

He couldn't fuck this up. He was pretty sure that none of his future selves would forgive him if he did because he wouldn't forgive him.
But how could he not fuck this up? If only there was some way of planting the idea of a romantic relationship between them.

He wanted to show her that he could be husband material. He could be charming, he could be soft, he could be loving. He could be hers. But, he was still himself and these weren't parts of himself that he could bare so easily.

He just needed something to whisper to the world as the first step to making the future happen.
His eyes went wide like a lightbulb turning on as he opened his mouth, fully coherent.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WIFE? GET ME MY GODDAMN OCHAKO!" he boomed with a smirk.

END