Thread by @matalaz

A (long) history that I remembered yesterday talking with my wife. Some days ago, some parents were talking about their 10-12 years old kids, and some were reluctant that their children would be able to go to university or study at a university.

Not because of money, as there are public universities around here that, while not 100% free, unfortunately, are affordable for most (while not for all). They have the typical way of thinking of "my kid will either study or drop-out after primary school and go work on anything".

This is exactly how we were bombed in my "humble" neighbourhood when we were just kids: "you will either study or, if you don't want, go to work". The result of this way of thinking is the expected: basically no kid went to university and most dropped out at/after primary school.

I can think of only 2 kids that actually went to university, pushed by their parents. No one of them live in my neighbourhood any more and all are more or less "successful", in the sense that they have good jobs and lives.

However, the vast majority of the kids around my neighbourhood stayed on the same place, had the worst jobs you can wonder if at all, and, as our parents, we were very poor, at varying degrees of "very". I, for one, have worked on things you cannot even guess.

Now, when I was 21, I was working for a small consultancy doing Oracle trainings, coding in PHP, Unix/Linux installations and maintenance, etc... for small companies. On August I had to take holidays but even with that 'good' job, I was (hardly) living paycheck to paycheck.

I told that company to please hand me some side job during my holidays because I needed the money. A week later they sent me a customer that wanted to talk to me about giving programming training to her son at some university (I thought it was some Basque public one).

I told them that I didn't do such works, but that I would talk to the customer, nevertheless. It was a very worried, and rich for my standards, mother that wanted to help his son. I told her that I don't do such kind of personal training and offered her another person.

The mother then offered me a ridiculous amount of money: something worth ~5 months or more of my work, for just 2 weeks. Naturally, I said "no worries, you have a trainer". I couldn't refuse that offer considering that it was hard to me to make it to the end of the month often.

When I meet "the customer", it was in their huge appartment (~200m^2) in Areeta (Getxo). We, the poor kids of a small high polluted workers town, were told that there is were the "rich people" live. Some of my family members worked for rich people there, starting from my grandma.

The "customer" asked me if I used the elevator, I said "yes" and then she told me that I should not have used the elevator, as there is a "service stair" for, well, "the service" people. I didn't say a word and thought inside "go fuck yourself, rich old woman".

So, the training started, the kid told me that he didn't want to study, that he wants to work in a bar like some of their friends, that studying wasn't for him, etc... I told him "you better study, you have that option many don't", but he didn't want. Whatever. "His" choice.

The day before ending the training, the mother asked to talk to me and told me that they were very worried because their son didn't want to study but work in a bar, "like the poor people". I don't even think she understands what she was telling me or didn't give a fuck. Whatever.

I told her that was his choice but that I told him it was much-much better for his future to study, and then work, than dropping out from university and going to work to a bar. She thanked me and added something else repulsive about poor people that I don't even remember.

The next day that old woman paid me in cash an amount of money I didn't ever see during my whole life and I was worried that someone would steal it from me while going from "the richs town" to my "humble town". But nothing happened. Fortunately.

Some months later, I passed around that town to take the subway (as the subway, during these years, didn't make any stop in the "most humble" towns, and we had to cross the river to go to the "less humble" side to take it) and found my student, that kid, with some friends.

The kid told me that he was expelled from their parents house because he said that he wanted to work in a bar and not studying. Their parents told him that working in a bar wasn't acceptable for their family ("family shame") and expelled from their house.

I offered him some help, but he didn't accept any. He used to live some time with his girlfriend, and then with his (also rich for "my neighbourhood" standards) uncle. He thanked me and we both desired each other good luck.

First of all, I was astonished: "so, rich people too expel their kids from their houses?". It was an amazing "discovery" for me. It was very common in my neighbourhood (hell, it happened to me and so many close others), but we were poor. Not "rich". Surprises, surprises.

Some years later, I received an email from that "kid" asking me if I could train him in some programming language I don't even remember. It was years after that and I was making a living from selling 0days. I declined, thanked him, and asked how life was going on.

He told me that he had returned back to university, that he is now good with his parents, returned back to their home and was studying hard and shit. I congratulated him, desired the best and that was all. I was happy for him. It was much better for him to study computers stuff.

Years after that, I remembered the "kid" and googled him. To my surprise, he studied Computer Engineering in a University in UK. Then worked for < 2 years in computers stuff and, all of sudden after that, appeared as the accounts manager in a "services company" for "non poors".

Basically, what happened was that he didn't want to work on Computer Engineering and their parents found him a job that I didn't even know existed. Their rich parents, simply, used their network to find a job "suitable" for him (not suitable for his studies, but for his class).

The summary is that we, poor people from poor towns & neighbourhoods, tend to repeat that most of us cannot study, that working is much important, that studying is not suitable for us, etc. While the rich do everything they can to obligate their children to go to university.

I am one notable exception from all the poor people that were born and raised in my humble neighbourhood in more than humble families. And, unfortunately, we do not realize that the only thing that can get us out of that situation is, actually, studying.

But even when going to university people from my class must work very-very hard, much harder than rich kids, because we do not have the favour of an ellite class. No one from my town would be able to be the "account manager" of such a company, even being the best at university.

PS: I didn't study at a university and even supposing my family was positive about that (and that we had a "good" relationship) it would have been impossible for them to pay even a "public" one. Funnily enough, the first time I went to a university was to teach people.