Thread by @pussymango

Im bored so let me tell you about my first and last time at a love hotel in japan

If you dont know what a love hotel is, they’re these places in japan where people do the nasty cause apartments and townhomes built twenty or more years ago have paper ass thin walls and everyone can hear you fuck otherwise

Regular hotels cost a lot of money and business hotels are also expensive. Love hotels, on the other hand, are super cheap (for the most part) and you can rent the room for 30 minutes or more, though the longer you stay the cheaper the rate.

The biggest difference between the “normal” hotels and the love hotels is the privacy stuff. Love hotels are considered to be apart of the whole sex industry so privacy is demanded. Hotels are required to gather customer information such as names, address, etc. Love hotels dont.

Anyway, me and the SO were on a date and so by the end of the date, we decided to end the night on a happy note.

Now, my place is off limits cause it was dirty af and its old and we couldn’t use his place either, so the only option was a hotel.

The concept of using a hotel just for fucking is bizarre enough, but we had no other place so hotel it was.

I wasnt down with the love hotel because if the place is only for fucking, obviously its gonna be diseased af. But SO swore up and down that

A) its japan and
B) its japan so all hotels are clean af

Which, granted, he had a point. 99% of Japanese hotels are clean af and you could probably eat off the floor. But remember the whole regular hotel vs love hotel? Yeah, these aren’t regular hotels.

These are fucking hotels.

So we venture a little ways out of downtown because apparently the rates would be cheaper.

Thing is, while the rates were cheaper, we are in a pandemic.

Most hotels were on a reservation only system which meant our selection was very, limited.

Now why does this matter? Love hotels supposed collect private information, so the hotels that had switched over to the reservation system had essentially switched over to a business hotel model.

I guess cause of the rona, its a hell of a lot easier to sanitize the room if used once a day instead of like… 12 times… a day.

We were able to find two hotels still doing the sex by the minute thing.

But usually you can usually find a love hotel by the whole not safe because there’s no fucking windows.

Yeah, safety. We’ll get to that later.

By this point and time we were searching for a place for about a good 45 minutes and we were on the clock. The last train back to where each of us lived was 3 hours away, and I wasnt simply down for a fuck and go. Not if I have to shell out cash for it.

Of the two hotels, we step into the first one.

Holy. Shit.

What did we get ourselves into.

The lobby is a long corridor with old furniture and kitsch lighting and decorations. Like an office Valentine’s Day party except its January and no one has bothered to take down the decorations for over a decade.

We enter the reception area, which is just a wall with pictures of rooms and a button. Adjacent to that wall is just a little window at waist-level height. You can’t see in and I guess they can’t see you. But when I peaked in there was no one in the office.

Already I’m telling the SO to lets GTFOH but he’s like, no, we are here. I wanna have the sex because clock’s ticking and he’s like, okay, what room do you want?

And I’m like, bro, there’s only three choices and all of them look like they’re infected with syphilis.

Two of the rooms looked like they came straight out of an 80s porno with mirrors literally everywhere. The only room without mirrors was this pink Disney themed room.

Except I didnt know at the time cause the picture was so small I just saw no mirrors.

So he presses the button and a key pops out. Then an arrow glows pointing to the elevator. We get into this small elevator and get off on the 5th floor. Which, apparently had a disco mirror ball jungle garden and literally no lights aside from disco mirror ball jungle garden.

Arrows point down the hall to a door that is glowing red. That’s the room.We open the door and already I’m regretting it.Not only can we hear people fucking in the hallway, the room looks like a 6 year old’s Disney princess dream house. Except depressing and covered in cigs n sex

I’m like oh hell naw Im not fucking on that dirty ass mattress and SO begins to freak out and we are like lets go. Like now. Like lets fucking go. So we try to leave and realize… we’re locked in. The moment we entered the door automatically locked and we couldn’t leave.

Remember that safety thing? Oh yeah. Love hotel rooms auto lock and the only person that can unlock them are the front desk staff and when you pay. But if you dont pay you are fucking stuck. In the Disney sex dungeon.Which means if there was a fire you’d probably die in there too

Apparently, based off of some TikTok video that was shoved into my feed, this is to prevent people from fucking and dashing. Since they cant collect private information, there’s no way to get money out of people that dont pay. So you’re locked in a horror room until you pay.

Now SO pressed the button on the check out machine thing and it was like 2500 YEN PLS and he was about to pay and i was like OH HELL NAW WE AINT EVEN TAKE OFF OUR SHOES FUCK THAT call the front and ask them if we can leave.

SO called the front and was like, “my gf and i got a really bad feeling and we want to leave we didnt even spend three minutes in here can we please leave” and then he hangs up all uncertain and looks at me like, he’s not sure and im like. And? What? Can we go.

And he’s like, idk… ig?

And im like ight lets go.

And he’s like ok.

So we go to the door and try to open it.

The door doesn’t open.

And he tries again. The door doesn’t open.

At this point he has a look of pure horror on his face and he’s literally shaking the door loose

So Im like bruh let me handle this. And i see there’s a lock. I unlock the door and open it.

We’re free from the Disney sex nightmare.

As we’re running out of the hotel, there’s a bunch of people entering a room and all I can think of is that either a porno is getting filmed or there’s a swinger party happening. Either of which I had no desire of knowing as we rushed the hell out of that hotel.

Anyway, we ended up using a business hotel. It was 1000 more but we had the whole night.

The end.

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