Thread by @Multifacetedfic

So what if instead of Lan Wangji, Lan Qiren was sent to the Yiling Patriarch as a warprize.

(Warprize + WangxianMatchmaker!LQR)

#MXTXReverseTropeFest - Day 3: Accidental Elderly Acquisition

(Quick note: In this universe, Wei Wuxian never went to Cloud Recesses or was taken in by the Jiangs. His backstory doesn’t come into play too much, but basically, Lan Qiren has not met him before.)

As these stories typically go, the Sunshot Campaign is going terrible. The Wen are within breathing distance of winning, and it is only the Yiling Patriarch who could possibly turn the odds in the other sects’ favor.

However, this time, it is decided that the current generation is needed to fight the war, and by sending an esteemed elder of a clan, the Yiling Patriarch will surely understand how serious they were about seeking his help. To give up an honored elder is certainly a BIG DEAL.

To the horror of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, Lan Qiren volunteers to go to the Burial Mounds as the sacrifice for the cultivation world. Lan Qiren makes this decision with great trepidation.

He does not want to leave his precious nephews, but he does not trust the elders of any other clan to impress upon the Yiling Patriarch the necessity of his help while also guiding him back to the sword path.

For reference, the meeting went something like:

JGS: So, whose going?
*Silence.*
JGS: Perhaps, we should send Sect Leader Yao.
SL-Yao: If I don’t die, I hope the YLLZ will teach me his powerful ways.
LQR (internally): ABSOLUTELY NOT.
LQR: I volunteer.
LWJ and LXC:

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Unlike other sacrificial offerings, Lan Qiren does not dress in red. There will be no subtle allusion to marriage. His forehead ribbon will stay untouched by all but his honored mother and dearest nephews.

He wears his finest white robes, decorated with clouds so the Yiling Patriarch will be unable to ignore his ties to Gusu Lan. In his qiankun bag, he stuffs personal necessities like money, medicine, and books.

Lan Qiren does, however, have company on his journey to what could be his end: his ever filial nephews and some of the members of his sect that he has watched grow up into fine cultivators.

Others are certain he will be struck down immediately by the Yiling Patriarch, but Lan Qiren is a cultivator who expects to be listened to. He assures them that they have no need to fear for him. As they stop at the point where he must continue on his own, his nephews hug him.

“You have always made me proud,” he tells them. He taps them on the forehead, touching each of their ribbons for what he knows will not be the last time. They are good boys.

Meanwhile, LWJ and LXC (internally):

Lan Qiren’s determination does not waver for even a moment as he steps through the resentful barrier protecting the Burial Mounds. The resentful energy coils around him, but he rejects its presence. It will not stop him from finding the Yiling Patriarch and getting his help.

As he gets deeper into the Burial Mounds, he is surprised by the lack of security. There is no army of fierce corpses, and beyond the heavy weight of resentful energy, there is nothing that even is causing him discomfort.

When he finally notices something other than barren ground, he is surprised to see a little boy. If the Yiling Patriarch is kidnapping children, he will require additional lecturing, Lan Qiren decides.

If Lan Qiren must reside in a place as a hostage of sorts, he expects that place to meet a certain level of integrity.

Lan Qiren approaches the boy who barely comes up to his knee, and he crouches down until he is eye level, meeting the boy’s wide eyes. “Are you okay?”

The boy slowly nods, clearly unsure what to do.

“Do you know where your family is?” Lan Qiren asks.

The boy nods again, this time, with less hesitation. Unexpectedly, he points towards the looming mountain and what appears to be a few hastily constructed houses.

Lan Qiren is at a loss as to what to say. As he walked towards the building with the little boy, he could see what could only be described as the beginnings of a quaint farming community.

Perhaps this was the wrong Burial Mounds?

As Lan Qiren is guided into the village by A-yuan, Lan Qiren is met by loud cries of relief as a young man rushes forward and scoops the boy into his arms.

Lan Qiren understands immediately that this is the boy’s father, and he has Thoughts™.

He watched for too long his brother neglected Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen, and he will never let a child be put in the same position.

He clicks his tongue until he has the man’s attention.

“You should not let your young son out of your sight like that, you may be hostages, but that is no excuse for negligible parenting. In fact, it is a reason to be even more vigilant—”

He continues on with his lecture, disregarding the man’s red cheeks as he gets flustered.

He hasn’t even gotten a chance to point out that this man should take more care for his appearance, even given their circumstances, because he is a role model now before, the father cuts in, faintly asking, “And you are?”

“Lan Qiren, and I have been sent to be the Yiling Patriarch’s war prize.”

WWX:

Did the Yiling Patriarch ask for a human sacrifice? No.

Did the various major sects decide to send him one anyway? Yes, and now he has to figure out what to do.

Needless to say, Wei Wuxian is panicking, and he ends up mumbling out that he is the Yiling Patriarch.

Lan Qiren does a double take before huffing. Of course, the Yiling Patriarch would have a child out of wedlock. (He is judging him more for that than the demonic cultivation at this point; children matter more in his mind.)

“My points still stand about your parenting skills.”

Wei Wuxian nods in acceptance, not because he necessarily agrees, but because he is still in shock that the cultivation world would send him someone. Also, weren’t war prizes supposed to be demure beauties???

A-Yuan squirms in his arms and pokes his cheek.

Now by the time Wei Wuxian regains his bearings, the rest of the village has gathered around to see the newcomer, and Lan Qiren’s impression of the situation is quickly changing.

Several elderly men and women hover a few feet away, and Lan Qiren can tell that they are worried not for themselves, but for the safety of the Yiling Patriarch. Lan Qiren further adjusts his expectations after a young woman touches the Yiling Patriarch’s arm and takes the child.

This is less of a hostage situation than he once thought.

He regrets his harshness a little bit, but it is clear that the Yiling Patriarch is a young man in over his head. Lan Qiren decides then and there it is his duty to mentor him beyond just guiding him to the sword path.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Over the next few days, Lan Qiren gets to know Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch, very well, and he is frequently shocked at how little the man matches up to his reputation. It is a very eye-opening experience.

First, Wei Wuxian is too selfless.

In fact, the Yiling Patriarch so easily agreed to help with the war in exchange for protection for the Wen remnants in the village that Lan Qiren had to force him to include himself in those negotiations.

(When the details were hammered out, Wei Wuxian left the Burial Mound to make everything official, and a few days after the alliance formed, he effectively ended the war. Lan Qiren was so proud.)

Beyond his selflessness, Wei Wuxian is also smart and inventive; he is constantly challenging Lan Qiren during their unofficial lessons in a way that makes teaching exciting again.

And most importantly, Wei Wuxian is actually very good with children, and the wandering of the adorable A-Yuan on the day of his arrival was an anomaly. (The Wen, especially A-Yuan, have also greatly endeared themselves to him, and Lan Qiren shamelessly spoils the young boy.)

Inclusion of A-Yuan here just to emphasize what a cute child he is. 😊

Lan Queen’s feelings of familial fondness are so apparent that it comes as no surprise to anyone in the Burial Mounds when Lan Qiren decides to stay while plans for the Wen are made.(These meetings are highly prolonged, and everyone knows it will be months before that happens.)

(To elaborate on this point, there was no hiding his fondness when Lan Qiren briefly fell sick, and he permitted Wei Wuxian to remove his forehead ribbon while he was too weak. Wei Wuxian, for his part, had never been more worried for the man he was coming to see as a parent.)

(It is also important to note that meanwhile, LWJ and LXC are freaking out wondering where their uncle is in the post-war world, and they are not quite sure if they can trust the Yiling Patriarch’s word that he safe and just doesn’t want to come home yet...

their uncle rarely ever leaves Cloud Recesses, so it seems like a lie...but they don’t want to cause a diplomatic incident if it is true.)

*They are sort of like this dog, perpetually waiting and not sure where to put their energy.

Anyway, it is an undeniable fact that first impressions aside, Lan Qiren likes Wei Wuxian. He is like another nephew at this point, and Lan Qiren can’t help but want to turn that “like” into something a little more definitive.

The preferable option if he had any say in the matter, and he did, was that this man would marry one of his nephews. Genius, kind, politically important, and a built in adorable grandchild - all important qualities.

Lan Xichen had his complicated relationship with Nie Mingjue (who Lan Qiren was still impatiently waiting on to make a move and propose to his nephew), but Lan Wangji did not have any such ties.

Very convenient.

As Lan Qiren plots, he decides the most effective way to ensure that they would be married by the next possible auspicious date is to be straightforward about this. He is sure once Lan Wangji is exposed to Wei Wuxian’s natural charms, he will fall in love; they just need a start

On the first day that Lan Qiren leaves the Burial Mounds since his arrival, he makes sure that Wei Wuxian accompanies him in his best robes with A-Yuan.

(While he can’t account for any prior impressions made upon Lan Wangji, he will ensure that today will make his nephew see the full potential of Wei Ying as a husband.)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t fully understand what Lan Qiren wants, but in some matters, he has learned to defer to his judgement.

(He has grown to appreciate Lan Qiren’s guidance, and he secretly hopes that his nephews will be willing to let him continue to hang out with their uncle...

hopefully they don’t find that weird…)

They arrive at Cloud Recesses without too much delay. They only take a break to bring A-Yuan to a restaurant in Caiyi Town, and he is cutely munching on some dragon’s beard candy as they reach the entrance of Cloud Recesses.

The guards are shocked and call for Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji immediately. Lan Qiren steps off his sword, pulling them into a hug in a display of affection that has become more normal after spending time with the tactile A-Yuan.

(It reminds them of the last time he hugged them, the day he was given away as a war prize, and they both fight to maintain their composure)

Unexpectedly, LWJ is the one to break the silence.

LWJ: “Uncle, your home.”

LQR: “Yes, and I’ve brought someone back to Gusu for you.”

Lan Wangji jerks his head up in shock. How could his Uncle be that bold????

Wei Wuxian feels like he is going to melt into a puddle. Lan Qiren is clearly far more shameless than he is!

But then, Lan Wangji turns to fully take in a pink-cheeked Wei Wuxian cradling A-Yuan, who has fallen asleep after finishing his candy. His black and red robes are form fitting in all the right places, and he looks good.

He knows this is the Yiling Patriarch, but he can’t ignore how soft he looks holding a child; he does not look like the monster he was on the battlefield, and Lan Wangji can’t ignore the obvious approval that Lan Qiren is giving this man...perhaps, he will give him a chance.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

As the Wens move to the extra land outside Cloud Recesses, Lan Qiren spends every spare moment pushing Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian together. (He also strategically chaperones every date.) Quickly, he can tell they are warming up to each other and are in love.

Lan Qiren is heartened that his matchmaking was so effective. His intuition and desire for another nephew did not lead him astray.

Truly, volunteering as a war prize was the best decision of his life.

As soon as Lan Wangji proposes, Lan Qiren pulls out the stack of papers he has already written on what is needed to prepare for their wedding and gets to work ensuring that the wedding of wangxian will be the wedding of the century.

And it is.

~The End~