Thread by @cherishthespark

contemplating the accidental elderly acquisiton prompt for day 3 of the #MXTXReverseTropeFest

idea: wwx accidentally acquiring lqr when both his nephews are out of town

(I'm making this up as I go, so even I don't know where this is headed, but I'm going for funny with stubborn lqr and exasperated-idk-what-I'm-gonna-do-with-an-old-man-hanging-off-of-me wwx)

Let's say wwx is some sort of grad student or professor at gusu university where lqr was an esteemed professor for many years, though now retired, but lqr likes to visit all the time to make his presence known (this grates on all the professors' and administrators' nerves

but lqr had been a really distinguished prof and has familial ties with the founding members of the university, so no one says anything to him)

so anyway,

let's say that lqr has a standing routine on tuesdays and thursdays. he visits the library that holds all the ancient scrolls and rare books, no matter how many times he's seen the collection, and once he's done, he'll wait for one of his nephews to come pick him up in their car

If he could, lqr would walk or take the bus home, but his nephews have decided that lqr shouldn't be on his feet so much so lqr has conceded and allowed his nephews to come pick him up instead

And normally, this wouldn't be a problem at all. One of his nephews normally picks him up at 5:23 pm (bc it takes 23 minutes to drive to the uni from their workplace, find a parking spot and walk to the library), but today, it's now approaching 6:30 +

And neither of his nephews have arrived.

Crucially, what lqr has forgotten in this moment is that last week, his nephews had told him that neither of them would be available to pick him up (for some very logical reason that I haven't come up with yet)

Now let's cut to wwx. Wwx needs to visit the library to take a look at a particular book for this thing he's working on. It's a book from a special collection, so wwx's not allowed to take it out and has to stay in the library while he's using it

When wwx had first entered the library, he had noticed the old man sitting like a statue by the entrance, but didn't really pay attention to him at all and quickly forgot about him

Wwx just went to the circulation desk to get the book he needed and quickly found a table. An hour later, when his laptop started dying and he realized he needed to borrow a charger from the desk, he noticed that the man was still sitting there!

Like a statue! In the same position! Straight backed, legs together with this cane upright in front of him and his hands balanced on top of the handle and a scowl on his face

Now, wwx doesn't have any plans to go talk to this old man at all, but he can't help his curiosity, so of course he has to ask the undergrad manning the circulation desk.

The undergrad doesn't know much. Just that the old man comes by every week and stays until he gets picked up

Which is fine. The undergrad's probably part time and more stressed out about their classes than they need to be, judging by the tension in their shoulders

So wwx goes on his merry way back to his table with his newly acquired charger and keeps at his work.

Nothing special really happens, until he pulls out a water bottle and almost immediately, the old man is next to him staring him down

"Put that away! Drinks are not permitted in the library."

Crucially, the rule is that open top drinks, like coffee cups, are prohibited but bottles with screw tops--like the one wwx has--are not

But ofc, wwx being the kind of person he is who gives off the vibe that he's breaking the rules when he's actually not, doesn't point out the rule and instead says

"oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it, old man?"

And lqr, who had previously always been the kind of person who believes he's patient when he's actually not but has mellowed out *a little bit* with old age, now has the experience to know that patience is the best way to deal with these brats (combined with his stare)

So ofc, what he does is pull up the chair next to wwx, sits down, and resumes the position he'd been sitting in before, with his stare now fixated on wwx

Wwx gives him a wide eyed stare. "old man, do you really have nothing else to do?"

"hmmph." lqr shifts his head pointedly at the water bottle

"fine. You wanna play it that way?" wwx pointedly looks away from the old man and turns back to his book and laptop.

The library closes in two hours and wwx still has a lot of notes to take. He doesn't have to the time to argue with a stupid old man who obvs doesn't have a life

Except. And wwx has never had a problem with this before, he can't focus with someone's beady eyes staring at him

Wwx refuses to let the old man win though. So he gets back to work and tries his hardest to make it seem like he's actually making a lot of progress when he's not since he, just to reiterate, can't focus bc of the old man's beady eyes

Every so often, wwx pointedly unscrew his water bottle, making it squeak as much as humanly possible, and takes a sip as he gives the old man a glare

Lqr's eye twitches, but he has nothing better to do than to teach this disrespectful idiot some manners, so he calmly says "drinks are prohibited in the library"

"water bottles are not." wwx points to the sign where symbol like ☕ and🧋 have a big 🚫 on them, but there is pointedly no water bottle symbol in sight.

Lqr won't back down either. "*drinks* are *prohibited* in the library. You have a drink."

"why don't you go ask the librarian then. Huh? What about all those other kids with their drinks? What are you gonna do?"

Wwx throws at arm out to gesture at the table next over, where there are four students with water bottles, and even one with a to-go coffee cup!

Lqr doesn't doubt that he's a bit hypocritical. He's had some realizations over the years and he knows this about himself now. He's not going to admit it to this brat though.

"Change must start somewhere. I will start with you."

(and also the other table has 4 youngsters so he's outnumbered)

(sorry for the delay! I'm back at it)

So anyway, basically wwx and lqr keep up this sort-of stand-off until the library closes and wwx is forced to pack up and bring the book back to the circulation desk

Lqr does concede defeat, but he does accept that the stand-off has to be put on pause since they're leaving the library and the drinks rule doesn't apply any longer

At this point, lqr remembers what he had been doing before--waiting for his nephews--so he exits the library and glares at a student (bullies) until they stop lounging on the sofa by the entrance and sit up properly, so that lqr has a seat by the building entrance

His nephews are extraordinarily late at this point (almost 4 hours past the time they would usually be by to pick him up) and altho his nephews have never let him down (for the most part. lxc should be married and giving him grand-niblings by now but refuses to), lqr is starting

to get quite worried.

Wwx, on the other hand, is quite frustrated with how little he's gotten done because of the old man and decides to find a spot in the building lobby to hunker down until he actually makes some progress on his work

As a reminder, it's probably like 9pm at this point

Now, in the modern day and age, you would think that lqr would've just given his nephews a call or a text

But no. Lqr is the kind of elderly that doesn't really get technology and kind of avoids it at all costs. He had to suffer it when he was teaching, but now that he's retired

Lqr often forgets to bring his phone with him when he goes out and today is unfortunately one of those days

So lqr has 3 options now:
1. Walk home
2. Bus home
3. Wait for his nephews to pick him up

Except. The thing is that lqr isn't very young anymore and even though he's been sitting and hasn't been on his feet for several hours, he concedes that maybe he's a bit too tired for the walk home and it's probably be better not to walk

And see. The other thing is that he can't quite recall the bus he has to take to get home at the moment. In his defense, he hasn't had to bus home in more than a year now! His nephews are usually very good at coming to pick him up

So essentially. Lqr's only option now is to wait for his nephews

in case you forgot, lxc and lwj had already told him last week that they wouldn't be able to pick lqr up

Now where does that left us? With lqr waiting and waiting until the building is closing and the security guard comes around to usher everyone out

Lqr obediently goes to stand outside the doors of the building at this point. He's standing close to the building because a flash rainstorm started several hours ago and he'd neglected to bring an umbrella (bc he was counting on his nephews' preparedness) and

he's leaning heavily on his cane, bc as previously established, lqr is not young anymore! And he's admittedly exhausted himself quite enough for the day

Unfortunately, this building doesn't provide much cover from the elements, so lqr is basically like:

At this moment, wwx's finally packed up all his miscellaneous stuff and exits the building with his handy dandy umbrella that jyl bought for him and catches sight of the unfuriating old man looking like a drowned cat

And altho the old man had been immensely frustrating, wwx is the kind of person who doesn't turn a blind eye to anyone who actually needs help

So wwx goes up to the old man and asks if he's okay, if he needs him to call anyone, etc.

At this point, lqr is quite tired of the day and a friendly face (even from a brat) is begrudgingly appreciated

Ofc, lqr doesn't remember his nephews' phone numbers, so there's no one he can call--they just set everything up in his phone for him! so he hasnt had to remember them at all!

And wwx is a complete stranger, so lqr isn't about to give him his address or his nephews addresses

Which. Doesn't really leave them many options

There's a student union building that's open 24 hours that wwx offers to shelter lqr to with his umbrella, but that's on the other side of the very large campus and lqr doesn't know that his nephews would know to go there to find him

(and here's the elderly acquisition we've been working up to!)

Wwx is pretty much done at this point too. He's had a full day of classes and even held office hrs for some courses that he's ta-ing for and then has spent several hrs studying at the library. He just wants to go home now!

But here he is, about to be on his way home, but trying to be nice to an old man who isn't being very receptive and wwx kind of wishes that he had just walked away and left the old man to figure it out on his own

In the end, wwx gives him and offers to bring lqr back to his own place.

Now, this isn't a very great option either in lqr's opinion, bc what if this youngster is luring him somewhere for some nefarious reason?

But lqr wants to give wwx his address even less and concedes that maybe it'd be better to go somewhere warm and dry for the time being

So wwx brings lqr back to his dingy little one bedroom apartment about an hr away from the university (bc rent prices are much cheaper farther away)

Lqr tries his best not to comment, but he can't help it and ends up scolding wwx on the state of his apartment (messy, no real food in the house, dying plants, etc)

And wwx is. He's just done. He's just invited a random old man he doesn't even know into his apartment and has to give up his bed to the old man bc if he let's an 80 year old sleep on the floor he'll probably get struck by lightning for how disrespectful he's being

Dinner was just cup noodles for them both, but beggars can't be choosers, old man, so wwx just tells the old man to suck it up

With some difficulty, they get set up for the night. Lqr is wearing sweat pants for the first time in his life ever, but even he had to agree that it'd be best to get out of his rain soaked clothes. (and ok, the sweatpants are more comfortable than lqr will admit out loud)

Now, bc lqr isn't a spry youngster who can bounce back the next day anymore. He gets sick.

It's nothing serious. Just a slight fever, but enough that lqr has been taken out of commission for the day and enough that wwx feels bad enough to not kick the old man out of his apartment

I'd like to mention at this point that wwx still doesn't know lqr's name bc lqr refuses to give him any personal details, so wwx spitefully calls him old man

This is. Worrying tho. Bc he has a strange old man who's sick in his apartment an probably has family worrying about him and if they find him in wwx's apartment, they'll probably think that wwx elderly-napped him

There's rlly nothing for it tho. Lqr is clearly sick, tho he refuses to admit it.

Now, lqr (and also wwx?) is very lucky that wwx doesn't have classes or work today and can afford to stay home to take care of a sick old man

Eventually, wwx gets lqr to concede to taking some cold medicine and gets lqr to take a nap after getting lqr to eat some take out congee from the restaurant across the street

Now let's fast forward. It's Wednesday night now, and Wednesday nights are Lan family dinner nights, where both lxc and lwj head over to lqr's for dinner

Lxc and lwj show up to lqr's house and find out that it's completely dark. They let themselves in and find lqr's cell phone (battery's dead) and after a quick check in with the neighbour, discover that it seems like lqr never returned home last night!

Lxc and lwj are worried now. They try calling lqr's debate friends (all old men who like having someone to argue with) and places that he regularly visits and are able to ascertain that lqr did go to the library yesterday as usual, but that the librarians didn't pay attention to

when he left. They offer to call back after checking with security to see if they know anything and luckily for the Lan bros, the same security guard is on duty again and confirms that he saw an old man who looked like lqr walk off with someone else

Lxc and lwj are even more worried now, bc what if lqr got lured in by some conman and is now lying in a ditch somewhere with all his things stolen???

Lxc and lwj are EXTREMELY close to calling the authorities now, but luckily for them, wwx has longstanding plans with nhs on wednesday nights to watch [insert your reality tv show of choice here] at his place and forgot to cancel!

nhs shows up with his liquor of choice as per usual and discovers an incredibly frazzled wwx trying to coax lqr into giving him something to work with--a number to call, a place to drive lqr to, a name!! Anything at all

Lqr is of course being stubborn and refuses. He insists he's fine and that once the fever passes, he'll take the bus home. He's an independent old man, tyvm. And he won't depend on a unorganized youngster to help him get him.

(lqr at least could figure out directions home once wwx had let him borrow his laptop to search online)

But anyway, nhs lets himself in as he usually does and actually drops the wine bottle he was holding when he catches sight of lqr sitting in wwx's kitchen

"l-lan xiansheng?"

"nhs!" and normally, lqr would not be so excited to see nhs of all people, but this is someone who has a connection with his nephews!

"hs, you know this old man?" wwx gapes.

"idk! maybe? huh? what? why is he here?"

Lqr, who is mostly feeling fine now (altho the fever is still present) and recognizes nhs as his savour: "nhs! Call my nephews right now!"

And nhs does, even as he's fumbling with his phone and wwx is giving him a ridiculously incredulous look

Unfortunately for nhs, neither lxc nor lwj pick up bc they're currently on the phone with a whole bunch of people trying to track down their uncle and they keep ignoring nhs (bc they're assuming, rather wrongly but understandably, that nhs is calling for a frivolous reason)

No matter. Nhs calls his brother instead. After some explaining and interjections from wwx that he has not elderly-napped anyone at all, nmj starts driving to lqr's house as he calls lxc.

And lxc, now having gotten calls from both nhs and nmj, now worries that something else has gone wrong

and then the resolution comes pretty quickly after that. Nmj goes to pick up lxc and lwj, bc he's actually driven nhs to wwx's before and knows where it is

And before wwx knows what's happening, he's got both the Lan and nie bros in his tiny apartment that definitely doesn't fit this many people

And lqr gets bundled off to lxc's (while still wearing wwx's clothes!) since he's sick so lxc can take care of him

And ofc, lxc washes wwx's clothes and intends to return them, which he gives to nhs since wwx is nhs's friend

But nhs, ofc, wasn't completely oblivious to the way both wwx and lwj checked each other out and passes the clothes to lwj with wwx's number

And eventually lwj introduces wwx to lqr as his future husband (bf at this point in time, but we all *know* so there's no point denying it) and lqr is all like: YOU! you orchestrated this all didn't you??? (not out loud but it's very clear on his face)

And wwx is like: I didn't even know who you were!! You just have a damn hot nephew, ok?? Have you seen him?? (also not out loud bc lwj is right there)

Lwj like this bc he can clearly tell that somethings going on between lqr and wwx, he just can't tell what bc they're not actually talking

In any case, lqr eventually concedes that wwx isnt that bad.

Once he experiences a coughing fit at the library and was given a bottle of water by a helpful library tech who then informed him that water bottles are indeed allowed in the library

The end!

Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this little thread of mine! I hope none of you ever accidentally acquire an elderly person bc that seems quite nerve-wracking, but if you do, I hope it ends in a happy ending for you!

(not sure that library techs would ever have random bottles of water to hand out to people, but for the sake of this ending, yes they do.)

Top of the thread in case you want it!

https://twitter.com/cherishthespark/status/1493673058124533762?t=U8macaDibNPL664FftzP9w&s=19