Thread by @KianaFitz

Ever since Kanye revealed his diagnosis, I've been writing about our similarities, and the impact his moments of vulnerability could have on the perception of bipolar disorder. A few thoughts on what I’ve learned:

When I’m manic, the first thing I do is run to social media and express every single thought that pops into my mind, nonsensical BS included. Many of y’all have seen me do this. And we might be seeing it happen in real time.

You can live decades of your life without bipolar manifesting. It can make itself known at the most inopportune moments; at the most unexpected moments.

I’m still learning how to extend compassion back to myself, as I navigate life with this disorder. I haven’t always been kind/understanding to myself, or others who live with it, and that’s something I’m working through every day.

I stay off of social as much as possible, but sometimes I need to be here for work, to maintain connections, etc. And the conversations around Ye over the past few years have been triggering and exhausting.

You can talk about someone’s actions without attacking their humanity. You can disapprove of someone while also holding space to understand that they might not *always* be in their right state of mind.

Was gonna hold this back, but I think it’s pertinent: I obsess over certain people during mania. For example, an ex of mine who was there during my first manic episode, and subsequently moved on, became my primary focus during my second episode. Shit got really uncomfortable.

Just imagine being the most vulnerable you’ve ever been. In your most raw and unfiltered state, in front of the entire world, day after day. Feeling unheard and misunderstood. It’s a lot of perceived pressure, on top of unwarranted pressure.

I’ve lost friends behind this disorder. My first love pretty much said “Good luck,” and dipped, because he couldn’t handle my instability. I know Ye is making his own choices right now. I’ve made similar mistakes. I had to learn the hard way that nobody owes you anything.

Mania can be incredibly tempting and alluring. I know the path of feeling like God is with you and within you, and not wanting to sacrifice that seemingly special bond. Feeling like it’s the only thing that will save you/your loved ones/the world.

Last thing I’ll say: Being diagnosed as bipolar has literally changed my life. In so many ways. I’m not here to absolve anyone of anything. I’m just here to provide some clarity and insight into one of the most misunderstood experiences out there.

I’m grateful for all of the support and feedback I’ve received. Thank y’all, sincerely. While I can’t speak for everyone, I want to be a voice for people who are hesitant or unable to, for whatever reason. I want to help start conversations that we need to be having in 2022.

If you want to hear more about my *personal* experiences with bipolar disorder, I’ve posted ~70 videos on TikTok over the past 10 months.

Even if we land on complete opposite sides of opinion, I hope I at least provided a perspective worth considering. tiktok.com/@kianafitzgera…