Thread by @Genshin_Kineli

Have you heard about "aro-phobia"?
It's around us every day

Since it's #aroweek and literally nobody talks about it, I'll tell how deeply it's rooted in our society: everyday life/fandoms, how aro-people suffer from it and why any of you might unintentionally add to arophobia
->

First, what's "aromantic"?

Aromantic are ppl who don't fall in love. Gay/lesbian are attracted to the same sex, hetero to the opposite one. Aromantic are attracted to none

Asexual people are not interested and don't need intimate relationships

Ppl can be aro, ace or both

What's arophobia?

It's prejudice or discrimination against aromantic people. Here I'll mostly talk about arophobia but it's often similar to acephobia.

I'll start with the most awful examples and will come to everyday life. Please, skip the next tweet if you're sensitive

/tw abuse in the most awful forms

How arophobia manifests itself:
-aro being treated as mentally ill. relatives may try to lock aro ppl in mental institutions
-"fixing" aroace by... raping. "if they know what's love, they'll become normal"
-"fixing" by forced marriage

AND SO ON

My personal experience as aroace:

As a teenager, I was camping with other teenagers. There was a group of about 5-6 of them who approached me with sharpened scissors and tried to make me cut myself for being "abnormal" (aroace and atheist).

Similar cases happened more than once

Or one of my relatives often says "you'd better be lesbian than THAT". For them, being lesbian is "bad enough" but being aroace is an absolute shame for the family.

And these are just some minor things compared to what other aroace people have to experience

Aroace ppl receive little help from other LGBTQ+ society and often even get hate.

We're called "basically hetero" (we're not hetero) and "shut up u're not oppressed".

And when it's convenient we can be even called "homophobic".
("don't like this m/m ship? ugh, homophobe!")

Unfortunately, arophobia is not just often, it's EVERYWHERE in everyday life

Nothing major, just people constantly reminding you that if you're not interested in romance, you're defective and will never be "truly happy"

Just this but from every person, song, tv show, book or ad

The main problem and the most arophobic thing is the "love is better" than friendship mindset

Have you heard of such phrases?
- just friends
- more than friendship
- friendzoned

All this implies that friendship is lesser than love.
And. It's. Not.

For some,love and friendship are equal. For some,friendship's MORE important

And yet ppl struggle with the "friendship can be precious" part

[live together? suure they're "just friends /s"]

UGH. Yes, friends live together. They can cuddle or sleep in one bed (without romance)

With some buddies you hangout and forget them. Same as there are casual love affairs

But what IS friendship?

It's mutual understanding, trust and care. Being ready to risk your life for a friend. Unconditional support. Found family. Soulmates.

And ppl still say JUST friends?

Aroace ppl have almost NO representation whatsoever

Most fiction, lgbt or not, ends with lovers as the ultimate "happiness".
I know many canon gay/lesbian charas.
And ONE (1) canon aromantic one.

Even in fanfics, my fav m/m interaction has 3k romantic and... 158 platonic fics.

If I read fanfics for my romant. ships, they're full of arophobia

-Dumping friends for a lover
-Being devastated after being called a friend
-Only the lover can save MC, feelings of loyal friends aren't "strong enough"
-Jealousy + hate to friends of LI as a "proof of real love"

And when I try to at least headcanon, I... get hate. Because fandoms are absolutely arophobic.

I ship platonic ships in genshin and some romantic shippers attacked or blocked me for "insulting" their ship with friendship. In many cases I'm just tolerated and not welcomed.

Once, I said I see characters as friends under a shipping post (because I adored them)

At first, I was so confused. Why's everyone attacking me? I complimented the ship the best I could??

It's when I learned that my views of precious relationships are considered to be insulting

At the same people think it's okay to come to my platonic posts and talk about romance.

That's not equality. And I prefer the equality of mutual respect. It's not normal when people shame you for the harmless way you ship.

Friendship is not an insult. It's not "worse" than love

I understand LGBT people fought a long war to openly identify as lovers. But for some, the most precious feeling is friendship.

Aro people are also fighting a long war for friendship, for our most precious feelings to be taken seriously. LGB can't be valid by looking down at aro

Also notice how I used "love" here but meant it purely in romantic sense

It's also wrong. Inner arophobia, yay! /s

Love's not limited to romantic love only. It can be parental, sibling love, love for a country, love for FRIENDS

Don't monopolize the word "love" only for romance

How not to be arophobic in fandoms?

-Don't say "just friends", "more than friends" or sth that implies as if love is "more"
-In fiction, don't depict friendship as something lesser. Not "love's cooler than friendship" but "both are important"
-Be accepting to aro headcanons

Of course, I say this because I assume that twitter users are progressive enough to

- respect aro-ace people
- not insult them with pity (we're happy actually)
- not try to "heal" them

And of course no "yeah, I get you BUT love is still a stronger feeling, right?"
NO.

TBH sometimes I feel hopeless. Even vocal minorities' fights are so hard

And aro-rights are almost never spoken about. If it's not love, it's "not important"

I know only one way to deal with hopelessness, to change something even if a tiny bit. Please, help and share the thread

And if you have questions, feel free to ask them. If I get some, I'll make a thread explaining stuff about being aroace as much as I can.

I don't know about the movement much but I can tell about aroace perspective and what's being aroace

but don't forget to share the thread💜

one more addition.

unfortunately one of the tweets (well, actually not one) was taken out of context so I had to explain more.

I had to come to the point to mass block insults, personal attacks, slander, etc. I'll reply only to polite comments too

https://twitter.com/Genshin_Kineli/status/1496350740331343875