Thread by @SabraMBoyd

Eavesdropping on Amazon operations managers who are talking about union busting strategies 👀

Now the Amazon execs are sufficiently sloshed, mocking Seattle renters for not being able to afford a condo

According to Amazon COOs, the most effective way to union bust is to outsource to 3rd party vendors.

I’m so tempted to throw my water at them and ask them how much their trash MBAs cost and whether they have any student loan debt

“Maybe I should go back to school, but I make so much money as it is.” - direct quote from a tipsy Amazon exec

“Don’t you own that building?” -Amazon exec points in southwesterly direction

“All the restaurants closed because of the pandemic. It’s a good time to buy up property right now. [something something about trading stocks with a guy named Brad]”

“Yeah, Brad texted me about his son’s stock going public. You should really invest, Dude.”

Now the Amazon execs are talking about betting thousands on fantasy football and making fun of Tonya Harding??

Amazon exec brags about winning a fantasy football bet with the Secretary of State (uncertain whether he’s talking about federal or state)

Amazon execs making fun of Seattle renters not being able to afford to live in the city and how this impacts their bottom line regarding delivery drivers

Amazon execs are now kvetching about Boston area union leaders. They all laugh when the blonde guy called a union leader jack*** to his face

Blonde Guy: “So I said to him [the union leader], “Look Fuckface, my parents owned a small business too, I get it…”

Now the Amazon execs are talking about shutting down an employee who had a spreadsheet. “We’re gonna fire all union guys. They’ve done nothing but fuck us quarter after quarter.”

A guy in a fleece vest is saying that he tried to bribe some truck drivers in Chehalis

“Okay, hear me out. What if we had them all live on site? They wouldn’t need to unionize if we gave them housing close to work in Seattle.” -tipsy Amazon exec

Me: “Uhh, paging @BootsRiley” 👀

Now the drunk Amazon execs are talking about yachts and mocking how lame their kids are for liking small, little, tiny boats

“[Something, something, teamsters] then we fired 380 people.” -Amazon executives

They just ordered their 5th round of drinks. Now the Amazon execs are talking about how scared they are of their wives and how they wish they could have engineers build them a time machine to go back 20 years

The Amazon execs are talking about strategies to hide cheating from their wives. Apparently Other Brad’s 4 yr old discovered messages on the iPad to Brad’s mistress. “Don’t give your kids passwords!” other brad says

Me:Umm, what is happening? Am I on the set of #Euphoria?👀

“I’ve been sleeping in my kid’s bed ever since!” -other brad

“At least it’s not the couch!” - blonde guy

The Amazon execs are blackout drunk at 5pm on a Wednesday and they’re saying really slurred, crude things about women’s bodies that I don’t feel comfortable live tweeting

Amazon execs are now bragging about nepotism and how many of their nephews they’ve hired

“My parents have 12 to 20 acres north of Chehalis. I should really start a cult or something.” -drunk Amazon exec

“[Something, something] Putin… investment opportunity… Mercer Island.” - drunk Amazon exec

The music is loud and they’re all slurring their words

All the drunk Amazon executives want to start their own cults apparently

Now the drunk Amazon excecs are talking about how many women their dads cheated on and how many half discarded/abandoned half siblings they all have. “I know won’t make my dad’s mistakes. I won’t get caught!” -fleece vest guy. [raucous laughter]

“Golf […] golf [inaudible drunken amazon exec slurring] sex […] golf”

Gawd, rich people are so boring

Okay, I am leaving this restaurant because the drunken amazon execs are too loud, boring, and disgusting. This is my first live tweet 🥴

cc: @Remember_Sarah