It will never cease to amaze me how some people will speak about generational trauma, and in the same breath, assert that everything is a social construct and human beings are born a blank slate.
Like, you know trauma can live in the cells, that's a great start, now imagine what countless generations of humans practicing a culture for millennia will do to a mf. Or a religion. Or a gender.
If you think you can just ignore these things, your ego is making a fool of you.
None of this means we can't make change, as long as we understand the timescale on which we can reasonably operate
I'll do you one better than that, I believe that the complete freedom of choice is immanent in every moment, accessible to everyone, even whole societies
But if you choose to go against what you are, you should not be surprised to find that it makes you neurotic and unhappy
And if you choose to try to BE something that you are not, you should not be surprised when your cells themselves rebel against you
This is a pro trans rights tweet actually
It small-l libertarian in general, but more than anything, it is pro-compassion. Compassion for the lot that you drew, that others drew, for the inheritances no one chose, that are often deeply shitty messes, too complex to understand
I can't believe it's taboo to say this, but the best you can do is what you can with what you've been given. In most cases, history is not destiny, but you better believe your fate will be informed by it.
Use your very narrow wiggle room wisely, and forgive, forgive, forgive
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There are not many incontrovertible facts in human psychology, but this is one of them:
If you want to be healthy, you have to learn to stand up for yourself. No one else can do this for you.
If you don't, you will inevitably become corrupt, cowardly and full of hate.
To practice courage is to feel and contain the fullness of your fear, and choose to do the right thing despite it. It doesn't feel good. It feels like shit.
Hatred is a defense against those feelings of fear by projecting them outward. It feels good. Hot and righteous.
Hatred, then, should be understood as the inevitable end state of cowardice, and the shadow of courage. It is the refuge of weakness.
The antidote is to become strong enough to endure the cold, fiery ordeal of courage, over and over, as many times as it takes to transform you.
It's technically true that patriarchy is responsible for the male mental health crisis, and many of men's struggles with emotional vulnerability.
But to put it this way is itself benevolent sexism: it hides the deep emotional and psychological damage done by female aggression.
When women get aggressive, it tends to be social and symbolic, not physical. That is, they tend to attack relationships, rather than bodies - they sabotage bonds, smear reputations, and attempt to damage others' egos - self-relationships - via emotional wounding.
Men are not uniquely victims of this, ofc, women can be especially vicious with one another, as any woman can attest. Intrasexual competition is real, and in many ways, women have unique vulnerabilities to emotional and relational damage, as their power is so linked to the social
Getting increasingly concerned about recklessness from our govt in confronting Russia, who has the largest nuclear stockpile in the world. The world was already at high risk before Ukraine.
Going to spend today doing what I can to get prepared.
Not trying to make anyone panic, but it's worth spending some time today reading and coming up with a plan. I live exactly five miles from a major airport and if nuclear war went all-out, it's possible I'm in danger.
But even if it DOESN'T go all out...
A nuclear attack just in Ukraine would be a sentinel event in world history and would destabilize everything, from the economy to the international order.
If you thought supply line disruptions from a global pandemic were bad, wait til you see what nuclear war will do
After I healed the cognitive damage from PTSD last year, I still had a lot of bitterness and obsessive anger, every day, for months on end.
I was recently able to heal that emotional damage with an imagination technique I call The Ideal Apology.
🧵
Here's what I did: I imagined the person who hurt me - in this case, an abusive ex-girlfriend - sitting across from me, in the greatest detail I could stably muster.
Then, I imagined her apologizing - expressing sincere remorse - for every fucked up thing she did and said.
I imagined that I told her everything. I told her all of the pain I had gone through, all of the damage she had done, the wreckage she left in my life.
I imagined her hearing it, holding space for it, accepting it, and - crucially -
taking responsibility for her part.
I believe mercy, forgiveness and tolerance are only virtues if you offer them to your enemies, and when it's most difficult to do so. Otherwise they mean nothing.
If you believe that too, I would love if you'd follow my acct.
I always thought getting ratioed would be terrible but I'm having the time of my life, this is the finest possible hill to die on, thank you all so much
I promise I will read each and every reply but I'll only interact if you appear developmentally capable of nuance
I stopped reading the news with any regularity about 2 years ago now, and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made tbh
If something actually big happens, it breaks through and people talk about it
But lately, I feel the pull of old attachments to ideas and ideologies
I haven't been meditating as regularly lately, I've been working early and haven't noticed a major change by doing it less, so I haven't sweated it too much
I wonder if this desire to get swept up again in the dream of culture is a result of that.
There's another part of me, definitely fueled by Twitter, that wants to start writing longform again.
For me, writing flows out of passion, and when I am practicing diligently and focusing close to home, and purposefully not attaching to my passions, it makes it pretty hard.