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Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
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Mar 5 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I grew up with Sports Machine in DC as well, and didn't realize George Michael had gone national until I saw a parody on SNL as George Will's Sports Machine. He had just written that baseball book MEN AT WORK, and all the questions were impossibly intellectualized.
Here you go:
It's amazing how the sketch doesn't actually get that many laughs from the studio audience, but kills anyway because it's so perfectly written.
Q: What was Willie Mays' famous catch in the 1954 World Series NOT unlike?

A: It was not unlike watching Atlantis rise again from the sea, the bones of its kings new-covered with flesh.

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More from @EsotericCD

Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
Mar 3
I haven't been angrier reading an article in 2 years. I hate the people who allowed this to happen to my son, and I think I will hate them forever. It will govern my attitude towards teacher's unions and elite public health opinion forever. theatlantic.com/family/archive…
My son has had speech therapy for 2 years now. He cannot articulate a single word, even though his vocab has grown huge.

Because of CPS policies, he has been required to get speech therapy wearing a mask by a therapist wearing a mask, When what he needs to see are mouths/lips.
And because all the "independent" therapists have to cooperate with CPS policies (oftentimes legally, mostly because they have to coordinate w/them so often on overlapping care), they use the same standards, even though many hate them. People get reported for deviating.
Read 5 tweets
Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
Mar 2
I got a stupid chuckle out of this, I'll admit. But that's the thing: it's an unfair, cheap laugh that's beneath him. (And also bullshit, the French of 2022 aren't the French of 1940, either.)
France's rep as a punchline in U.S. culture for surrender jokes rests on a few things, not just 1940 (certainly not 1918 or 1870). Their maverick foreign policy under Gaullism post-WW2 raised western hackles muchly. Then, alas, there's Willy on THE SIMPSONS. That one left a mark.
But mostly, post-1940 it's about how that entire "surrender monkeys" meme went nationwide after 9/11 and the French refusal to join the U.S. Coalition during the drumbeat to war in Iraq.

Perhaps you've forgotten the roots of your disdain, because that was the right call.
Read 5 tweets
Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
Feb 26
The world is now being reminded about the abiding truth behind Russian military power, from the 16th century to 10:45pm Chicago time: mass and numbers can blot out eventually, but will not cure, sloppy tactics & poor training.
Russians actually suck at war on a point-of-contact level. Good at dying en masse, not so much when it comes to quick victory. Artillery and siege is all they know. But Kiev will not be Grozny, should they attempt such a folly. It will be Stalingrad.
See, that's the funny thing about invading someone else's country: every Ukrainian has now become a combatant whether they like it or not.
Read 4 tweets
Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
Feb 25
Coming this afternoon, @Political_Beats will be praying for the end of time (in timely current events fashion!) as we celebrate Meat Loaf (and Jim Steinman) in a bonus BONUS Patreon ep! Available for this one time to all supporters regardless of tier! patreon.com/politicalbeats
Did we discuss "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" by Bonnie Tyler even though Meat Loaf never recorded it? You bet your sweet bippy we did. I somehow managed to avoid recounting my Bill Murray karaoke story in regards to that, just use Twitter search.
[short version: on a depressing semi-drunken night after arguing w/Mrsoteric, who was then just "very likely wife," I stumbled into a karaoke night on Division Ave singing "Total Eclipse" where Bill joined me to duet and later apologized for 'blowing up your spot.' It happened!]
Read 4 tweets
Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
Feb 25
In case Russia feels like moving on after Ukraine, here's a captcha for Vlad: Image
SPOILER: all nine panels plus an extra 27 to your left, right, and rear.
No, a tweet by a rando sitting in Chicago will not.

Memories of 1940 Russo-Finnish War, however, this time possibly re-run with NATO backing? That scares him.
Read 7 tweets
Jeff B. is *BOX OFFICE POISON* Profile picture
Feb 25
You can gloat about this, but I think about his mother, and his eternal soul, and how badly he was used and abused by Russia, who he pledged his life to.
Took 40 years and I've never loved the album as a whole, but this song finally clicked for me today.
"Some mother's son lies in a field
Back home they put his picture in the frame.
But all dead soldiers look the same
While all the parents stand and wait."
Read 5 tweets

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