When I lived in Utrecht, I saw this Dutch movie about two sisters who were separated by the WW2. They had husbands: dutch Jew who died in the concentration camp, and a German officer who died in a war. Basically, the movie is about how the first was not able to forgive, but...
But the second tried very hard. She made a lot of efforts to contact and apologize, and finally they saw each other when they were very old, and they had some powerful conversations just before one of them died. Powerful movie.
The first was able to forgive in the end...but the tragedy of ukr and rus is that Russians do not even try to say sorry: some support Putin, others support "both sides are wrong", some are in denial, some left and care about their wellbeing.
Using this movie as a an example, reconciliation is possible when both sides are on the same page. You cannot say "I am sorry for all this, but you know both sides are wrong and I don't want to talk about it, I try not to follow politics, I also suffered, my Iphone did no work"
Maybe when I am 90, I will meet someone who will say sorry sincerely and I will forgive, we will see
Btw, I do have very close friends from there who are not in denial and who has taken full responsibility and who has done concrete actions and who has been damaged.
At the same time some relatives of my gf told us by phone that we were not bombed.
I guess I am trying to say that reconciliation is a long path, and some people have made small steps, some have made more steps, and some even don't know how to walk. Millions of Russians have to wake up and start learning how to walk
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