1/x Someone asked me about what I've learned about having a newborn at home for the first time, and while we don't have it entirely figured out yet, here are a few things I've learned...
2/x First off, acknowledge that a baby is a much bigger physical burden on whoever gave birth to it and/or whoever is breastfeeding or pumping if that's something you choose to do. The time/effort/physical drain makes whatever else you do to balance things still not enough. 
3/x So, whenever you can do something for that partner, just do it. Just put everything else aside to do that one extra thing to unburden them of something.
4/x Try and lay out a care/responsibility schedule. It may change--but have an open, non-judgemental conversation around what's fair, easiest and preferable for each person. This way, you're not arguing anecdotes of how long you've had the baby today or what you did yesterday.
5/x A care schedule also helps you plan work or other things around care times. Mostly, it gives each partner a break that you don't *both* need to be *on* all the time. Doesn't mean you can't pitch in, but it's a good permission thing to take a rest.
6/x Baby will go from sleeping all the time to needing to be put down to nap w/effort + otherwise req more attn. So, if you're the non-birth partner and you're going to take off from work, I actually think maybe don't take full leave immediately. Take a week, then more time ltr.
7/x They're going to cry. It's OK. It's the only way they have to communicate. It's usually either hunger, wetness, gas/burp or being tired. Remember the list and run through it calmly. Soon, you'll be able to distinguish. They def have different cries for each.
8/x It is extremely stressful when they get really upset, but *never ever* direct the stress you feel back at the baby. Keep your voice and movements calm and slow, even if they're screaming their head off. They can't help it, and you visibly getting upset won't ease their pain.
9/x Try every stupid thing you can think of. Slobbery feet raspberries and baby shoulder presses seem to work for me--so just think of all the ridiculous ways of distracting her from whatever was making her cry that I tried. She also likes dance parties.
10/x Routines. Routines. Routines. They won't always work, but they help both you and the baby. Bedtime songs, nap times. Repeating your steps will help you when you're groggy at 3am and help your baby for whom everything is new and startling.
11/x Take 'em everywhere--or at least try to. Mirren is 3.5 months past her due date (she was a 2.5 month preemie) and she just sat through three hours of a nighttime showing of The Batman at a drive-in. Did it go perfectly? Nope... but we didn't have to leave and that was a win.
12/x Every baby is different. Use groups and forums for ideas, not for comparison. This is especially the case for preemies. We were lucky healthwise, but not every baby comes through early birth w/o needing extra help. Take one day at a time.
13/x Learn how to do things with the baby that help their strength, balance. Tummy time is so important. Get in as much time not just lying flat as possible.
14/x Talk to them like normal people. Explain everything that you're doing. Imagine you didn't know what being changed was and it suddenly happens for the first time.
15/x They grow super fast. Try to get as much hand-me-down clothing as possible. For the love of god, why is everything a pullover? Get as many things that wrap, snap or zip as possible so you're not trying to squeeze their bowling ball heads through clothing.
16/x You can never have enough wipes and cloths. Leave them in a bowl or box in every single room in the house. Half of parenting an infant is just wiping up whatever comes out of their mouth--off you or off them.
17/x Don't be afraid to cloth diaper. I'm not only an investor in but also a customer. @AjaSinger was skeptical, thought we'd do it part-time, but we're full-time. Easier than we thought. Mirren has fully tested containment limits and it has always held.Esemblybaby.com
18/x Play real music for them. You don't need to listen to baby music. She likes 80's stuff-- @depechemode @tearsforfears but also lately she calms down to @bobbymcferrin's "Don't Worry By Happy" which I now know "note for note".
21/x They won't break. Their heads will not fall off. You won't accidentally break them. They may be floppy but they're tough. Make sure their head is supported but don't be afraid to handle them.
22/x Tell them you love them all the time. I'm pretty sure Mirren knows that when I say this, it's something good, because she always smiles back at me.
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