Thread by @suehuff

THREAD: I missed yesterday's #RealTalkRJ so I went back to listen to the final 15 minutes to see what happened. I am going to reflect more on dynamics between Ryan and Sarah first. Ryan was interrupting and overtalking. This happens to me (and all women) SO. OFTEN.

Men jump in because they are excited, disagree, want to challenge, or just want the chance to speak again. It is so habitual they often don't realize they are doing it. Women also interrupt each other and talk over, but typically women are doing it to agree or add on.

When a man interrupts a woman to challenge her thinking, it feels confrontational and maybe even dangerous. The power imbalance becomes obvious and a lot of women shut down. Sarah didn't, but I'm guessing it took a lot of energy for her to remain composed. Especially live on air.

You could sense the power imbalance when the new-guy-who- isn't-Sam (I will get to know him, promise) felt the need to jump in and defend some of Sarah's points. What was interesting was hearing how Ryan's demeanour changed at this point. He took it down a notch.

Sarah was understandably irritated. I'm sure he was just trying to calm the waters and bring the show back on track, but there's nothing worse, as a woman who is trying to get a point across, to have a man restate it and suddenly because it's coming from man it "makes good sense"

Sarah's comments at the end were very direct: get out of the way, let people speak for themselves. I'm glad she didn't back down. I hope she doesn't quit, as people have suggested. I think Ryan can learn valuable lessons from Sarah. Otherwise, why is she there?

Here's what I hope they take from this important, if uncomfortable, exchange:
Sarah has a voice.
When stuff hits close to the bone (as clearly this did, for both), they need to own what they are feeling FIRST.
Ryan needs to control his urge to interrupt.
Disagreements are OK.

FYI @sarahhoyles and @ryanjesperson ...if you want to chat on Monday, let me know!