Thread by @NickKnackTrack

#qijiu

sj reconnecting with the childhood friend who he thinks abandoned him 15 years ago on a sugar d@ddy app. Now successful, sj decides to rub it in broke yqy's face and takes him on as his sugar baby. Not at all because of the clawing emptiness inside screaming for answers.

He puts yqy in more & more humiliating situations, waiting for him to tap out or say something. Ask him for mercy, beg for it, which sj can then deny. No one went easy on him in that old life. To no avail. The longer it goes on, the unaddressed fury crawling under his skin grows.

One day he breaks and shoves yqy, naked and fucked out, towards the door. Tells him to leave, never come back. He has no use for him anymore. And here yqy hits his limit as well. He does beg, pleads with his hoarse voice, for sj to let him stay.

That he knows he isn't worthy of him, of his forgiveness or affection. It's selfish of him taking this much but he can't. He can't be without him again. Even as a toy for xiao jiu to use, that's enough.

sj leaps off the bed, eyes blaring, grabbing yqy by his ponytail and yanking it meanly. yqy has no choice but to look up at him, not that his eyes would look anywhere else. sj's words drip like acid splashing on bare skin, a knife flaying him alive.

"fifteen years" he seethes, a lifetime of unspoken things in those two words. Of pride dashed on the rocks of survival. Longing and resentment tangled together in a furious mess.

"fifteen years and that's all you have to say?"

All that shriveling and begging and he still couldn't say the words sj wishes to hear.

yqy's lips part and he whispers brokenly, "xiao jiu-"

The torrent of emotions churning inside make sj feel like he'll be sick, like he's so full there will never be enough room for them all.

That his anger and hurt were a thousand times too big for his frame. He yanks cruelly on yqy's hair once more, cutting him off, making him nearly tip over. yqy blinks back tears and sj feels a curl of satisfaction among the storm.

"No! No. Your xiao jiu is gone. That person died and I took his place."

yqy closes his eyes, lips pursed together, shaking his head, or trying to in sj's painful grip.

His lips move but make no sound. He looks like a broken man.

sj wishes the satisfaction didn't sting so much.

Then came a sound so small it barely registered as words.

"sor..ry"

sj tugs again, with less strength this time. "What did you say? Speak up!"

With a shuttering gasp, a man breathing the air after along, deep dive, "Sorry!"

The words tumble out of yqy around wet sobs rocking him, making his muscular frame appear small, childlike.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry. I wasn't enough. Enough to protect you. Tried, I tried. xiao jiu-- shen jiu, please. Tried so hard. But I couldn't, couldn't find you!"

"Days and weeks and-and years, I never stopped looking. Then you were here. Here and..."

"And?" sj's demand held only a small portion of its heat.

He stared intently down at this wreck of a man, on his knees on sj's bedroom floor, so like the many times he'd viciously ripped him apart before and wholly different.

"Changed. You'd changed." yqy pauses, misery and inadequacy written plain across his face, taking a few steadying breaths. "You're shen qingqiu now. Successful and powerful. All on your own. What would you want with your useless qi-ge now?"

sj's hand leaves his hair so abruptly yqy nearly topples backwards. Then there's a slap ringing through the room and his cries stop short.

This isn't new. sj has slapped him many times. Sharp and quick, leaving him reeling.

Now he's left stunned. yqy opens his mouth to speak and sj does it again. And again. His blows are less steady, less purposeful. Each hit punctuated by a louder and louder sound. Not coming from his face but sj's lips. It's angry, wet. Frustrated.

Through his tears, defiant against them in a way only he can be, sj hisses "Who asked you to decided what I want?"

His slaps weaken, shoulders shaking as he wields his pain like a knife.

"What gives you the right? You coward."

The last few slaps land with barely a sound.

sj's face twists. He grabs yqy's redden cheeks and pulls them close enough for yqy to feel every word breathed hotly against him, gaze deeply into eyes pinning him in place, a bottomless pit of voracity.

"Did you forget, you're /mine/?"

The air is punched out of yqy's lungs. The pain of sj's nails digging into his stinging skin an afterthought. He can't even gather his thoughts together to form words.

That's alright, sj has plenty.

"Remember this. I own you, every inch of you. Mind, body, soul. Whether you stay or go is my choice, not yours."

yqy whimpers, leaning forward. His empty mind becomes a cacophony of 'yes yes yes' though his breath is locked within.

"Fifteens years," sj says, quiet and controlled again, the shift in his usual icy tone imperceptible to the ear but thundering in yqy's skull, drowning out the loud thuds of his heart.

Where once those words cut him, now they are a bond slipping around yqy's neck. Hooking in him and dragging him towards the very thing he's been seeking, yearning for, since the last moment they saw each other.

"You owe me for those years. And I plan to make qi-ge pay for every second."

yqy can only nod and accept the biting kiss sealing those words. Let the pain blossoming on the sides of his head, on his lips, chase away that lingering feeling of unworthiness.

That's no longer his choice to make. And the reality of that, the relief of it, makes his head spin.

It's sj's hands holding him upright, anchoring him. Guiding him eventually back to the bed he was thrown from.

Now he belonged there. Now, he was truly owned.

That's the end💕

They'll eventually have a more in-depth conversation with their clothes on and less emotional turmoil. The most important parts have been said: I'm sorry and you're mine.

Nothing really changes in their routine: yqy enjoys the humiliation and sj still gets off on his submission. Now sj lets him cuddle afterwards. For a little bit.

Post confrontation, yqy moves into the guest bedroom. It's more a place to keep his things and give sj some space when he's feeling prickly. yqy hardly ever sleeps there.