Thread by @StructuredSucc

The way the world works is rarely the way that's best for autistic people. In order to survive, we often need to change how _our_ world works. This means accommodating ourselves.

Let's talk about some of the best accommodations I've given myself since realizing I'm autistic:

1) Respecting my sensory needs.

My sensory needs didn't magically change when I realized I was autistic. I always knew stores, cafes, & public venues were overwhelming.

I knew I couldn't handle microfiber, oily textures, or unplanned wetness.

What changed was my own shame

Before realizing I was autistic, I pushed myself through abrasive sensory experiences because I felt I had to. Everyone else was okay, so why was I not?

When I inevitably had a meltdown, I figured it was something wrong with me. That I was broken somehow

Since realizing I'm autistic, I started to recognize these abrasive sensory experiences had long-acting impacts on my functioning.

Even hours after, I'd still struggle. I'd be anxious, emotional, overwhelmed, and I'd struggle with executive dysfunction

Learning to respect my sensory needs by turning down unwanted physical touch, wearing headphones in busy stores, and banishing microfiber to the hell it came from (for example) reduced my anxiety, stabilized my emotions, and increased my ability to function.

2) Ending social cue iSpy.

I've always struggled with subtlety & non-verbal communication. I never quite knew the rules for when you say or do what thing.

I spent hours reanalyzing conversations desperately trying to find subtle cues behind what people were saying

Once I realized how much energy this was taking, and how much anxiety it gave me, I stopped playing the constant game of social cue iSpy.

I started asking for people to communicate explicitly. And, importantly, I stopped hunting for the subtle cues when they don't

This made such a huge difference. Being blissfully unaware of the subtle things people were trying to say took so much pressure off.

It made social situations far less taxing and scary and, strangely, increased my confidence and self-worth at the same time.

3) Building in recharge time.

Self-regulating takes a lot of time and effort for autistic people, me included.

Before I realized I was autistic, I gave myself very little time to do that, and I gave myself even less time to recharge afterward

What this meant was that the consequences of one dysregulating event (sensory issues, low social battery, sudden changes) would pile onto the next event and the one after that.

Before I was even done my day, I'd crash, regularly taking days to recover

What was happening was that because I wasn't building in the time I needed to self-regulate, recover, and recharge, my brain was doing it for me.

After too many dysregulating events, I was just done, whether I wanted to be or not

While I still struggle to get enough recharge time, learning to specifically build time into my day to recover and recharge, especially after social events, has helped considerably.

Learning to accommodate ourselves is an important part of surviving the world when we're autistic.

These accommodations can look like so many different things to meet our different needs, but more than anything, these accommodations require self-acceptance

It wasn't until I realized I was autistic that I allowed myself these accommodations. That, I feel, was a grave error.

Accommodating myself sooner could have reduced how much guilt and shame I piled on and increased my self-worth and self-esteem

If you feel like the world doesn't work for the way your brain does, make accommodations for yourself!

Accepting yourself and building a world that works the way your brain does will only ever make things better. That, I feel, is one step closer to #AutismAcceptance