Thread by @rhiankatie

Why we can't stop saying gay, a story

On the first day of my senior year of high school, a new boy showed up in my AP English class.

He had transferred from a prestigious private school to my public school, and I was confused.

I asked him why he moved and he shrugged

1/x

I had lost most of my friends due to graduation and I decided he was going to be my new friend, and much to my excitement he seemed just as happy to be my new friend.

We decided to partner together on a project, his mom insisted that she come to my house as well

2/x

I'm first gen and he is a refugee so I didn't think much of it. Literally thought "European parents are going to European"

My Mom sat with this other mother and spoke with her but afterwards she told me something was off but she couldn't put her finger on it.

3/x

At this point, he and I were spending EVERY part of the school day that wasn't in class together.

One day, with all the grace of a 17-year-old in the early 2000s who didn't know this is inappropriate I asked him "so... you're gay right?"

He looked at me horrified.

4/x

He asked, almost in tears, "how did you know?"

I explained that my uncle was gay and that I had grown up around queer people and that I didn't care and that we could obviously still be friends and that I wouldn't tell ANYONE.

Then everything clicked

5/x

I asked him "is that why you are at our school?" and he said yes and then proceeded to tell me his parents had found out he was gay, pulled him from the school, called him horrible names, abused him, and that he was MISERABLE.

He said he was scared to go home every day.

6/x

I went home and told my parents. I begged them to do something about it.

They said they would think about it, and they did.

My Mom is a green card holder so she said he couldn't come and live with us until he was 18 because that would be considered kidnapping.

7/x

My Mom also shared his writings (he loved to write) with her friend, a social worker (my mom was a school nurse and she worked with the said social worker).

I lived in fear that he wouldn't live to see 18.

8/x

But he did! He turned 18 and he came and lived with us.

His parents only allowed him to keep the clothes on his back. They came to our house and called him every name under the sun and my mom stood outside and said "you can't hurt him anymore, I will not allow it"

9/x

He blossomed while living with us.

My parents and the aforementioned social worker took him shopping, made sure he had everything he needed for school and he became like my brother

10/x

I remember his excitement after his first date with another boy.

I remember how excited he was to be able to dress the way he wanted.

I remember how he came into my bedroom EVERY MORNING WITHOUT KNOCKING to ask me if he looked good in his outfits.

11/x

His joy and comfort living as his authentic self is a core memory of mine.

The store is longer but the tl;dr is he went to an Ivy, and is an immunologist literally working on curing cancer.

He is my brother and best friend. I would move mountains for him.

12/x

There are kids like him right now across the US who are SCARED with the new legislation passing.

If they thought they were safe they no longer think that.

One of my mentee's shared that they feel like no one wants them to live.

I DO. Don't you?

13/x

There is a LOT of anti-queer legislation being passed at the state level right now.

FIGHT IT.

Queer kids need to feel safe. They deserve to feel safe.

DO SOMETHING.

14/x

Call your legislators at all levels. Encourage the passage of FEDERAL protection of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Queer lives matter.

Also, be a safe adult.

Be like my mom.

Every kid and every person deserves to feel safe.

I would also be remiss to not mention my Dad’s rocksteady support of my bff.

My Dad is an engineer’s engineer and can be a bit rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.

He fully supported all of this. He also played bass and my friend played guitar and they would jam.

Him and my friend would watch The Simpsons together while my friend did Calc.

He acted like my friend was always there. Like he had always existed as a member of our family.

Rock steady.

Be rock steady for the LGBTQIA+ folks in your life.

Show up.
Vote.
Call.

Okay so this is going mini viral.

Other actions to take

Donate to: @TrevorProject @LALGBTCenter @AliForneyCenter @TransEquality @sageusa @PointFoundation @HRC

Also engage in mutual aid, but donating locally and directly to those who need it.

And again, be the safe adult.

If you’re reading this and you have other organizations you want to encourage folks to give to that will positively impact the LGBTQIA+ community please drop them here.

(This includes gofundmes for gender affirming surgery, for folks experiencing financial difficulties, et al)

A few more things!

1)This story is about a man I know and love. He’s a real person and his whole story is not mine to tell, nor will I.

His bravery and the way he has walked through the fire of adversity is breathtaking.

2) Centering the lived experience of the LGBTQIA+ community is CRITICAL.

3) There has been an overwhelming positive response to this twitter thread. Thank you all.

Remember, you are loved. It gets better.

In solidarity always,
Rhian

Very last thing

I spoke with my friend and told him how big this has gotten.

I won’t speak for him, but to say this:

He asks that you donate to @theuwcofficial

Here is how: