Thread by @sqiouyilu

a wuxia cooking competition show called ENTRÉE THE DRAGON

all the pressure of chopped, except your competitors are leaping over your head like “above you!!!” to get to the ice cream maker

there is no clock. there are just long, meaningful looks, random gusts of wind that come from nowhere, and a soundtrack that gets ever more frantic

a panel of judges comments on the food like it’s being evaluated for the imperial exams… then the janitor comes by and then it turns out actually he’s the most legendary chef of them all, as he jumps and spins a mop like a propellor and lands on the stage to take a bite

at some point someone weeps because what you cooked reminded them of their hometown and how could they leave their ailing mother there to go on adventures

help I made myself laugh fkskdkdk;dhdajsjdkf

https://twitter.com/sqiouyilu/status/1514442462810415105

some shit like “eight-layer cake? *psh* behold my EIGHTFOLD PATH CAKE, WITH 108 LAYERS *thousand-armed mudra*”

there is definitely at least one episode with an extended fight sequence that takes place across the entire kitchen as two competitors try to wrestle, like, a can opener from one another, all while the other contestants continue as if nothing is happening and no one’s whizzing by

god I just want to bring hong kong cinema shitpost energy to the west and I am so, so delighted that #EverythingEverywhere has opened that door for me 🥲