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Apr 18 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Big house, small price.
15BR, 18BA mansion, needs a renovation
$450K in New York #CheapZillow zillow.com/homedetails/24…? Image
I did find this confusing. What is it? A low-rent party bath? #CheapZillow Image
Apparently that's a "mineral bath." And the mansion, formerly a NURSING HOME, sits on acreage known for sitting on a ton of high-mineral content water.
Potentially a $100M opportunity??? WHAT. Via this cray cray news story:
thesteepletimes.com/opulence-splen…
From what I'm reading, this was built back when the town was a sought-after resort. Then a 450-room hotel burned down and they didn't rebuild. Town fell on hard times for, like a century. livingplaces.com/NY/Otsego_Coun…

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More from @StevenTDennis

Steven Dennis Profile picture
Apr 19
Time to move to Iowa.
This B&B is just *$349K.*
Themed rooms: "Never Neverland, Sherwood Forest, The Secret Garden, Plum Creek, Heaven to Betsy and Sleeping Beauty"
#CheapZillow zillow.com/homedetails/51…? ImageImageImageImage
Pretty sure this is the "Sherwood Forest" room, given there is a bow and arrow on the wall. And trees. #CheapZillow Image
People still have CRTs? Seriously, folks, ditch these things. A quality cheap LED model should actually pay for itself with the electricity savings, and your B&B customers will be happier. Image
Read 4 tweets
Steven Dennis Profile picture
Apr 17
Starting #SaturdayNightZillow with a CRAY CRAY compound on the water in Arizona. Guaranteed to blow your retinas! *Secret rooms. *Parking for 45. *Garage of the Gods. *Party showers.
All kinds of weird 7BR/9BA/7K sf $6.949M 🧵zillow.com/homedetails/36…
This bathroom should come with a warning. #SaturdayNightZillow
Just one of the party showers. But you might need Advil. #SaturdayNightZillow
Read 49 tweets
Steven Dennis Profile picture
Apr 15
Nobody seems to like my idea of transforming all the ocean plastic into a giant archipelago of floating white plastic islands to cool the Earth.
You just need a giant solar/wind/wave-powered ocean-filtering robot ship that also smelts plastic into giant white plastic islands. Could theoretically anchor them in places where Polar bears are losing habitat? Maybe with remade nooks for dens and so on.
Pretty sure I'm not the only person to have had this idea? Like that time I was all excited to think about digging a canal to Death Valley and filling it with water only to learn many people have suggested that previously. (I thought it would be cool to rename it Life Valley)
Read 5 tweets
Steven Dennis Profile picture
Apr 11
This 3-story Penthouse overlooks Central Park.
Why do these places have open-air balconies?
#SundayNightZillow zillow.com/homedetails/15… ImageImageImageImage
This bedroom would be acceptable. #SundayNightZillow Image
This is where the Illuminati executive committee should meet. #SundayNightZillow Image
Read 4 tweets
Steven Dennis Profile picture
Apr 9
So, I have this idea to remake a sitcom where a rich family with expensive tastes is forced to move in to a remote hotel and run it, and just found our set.

76BR, 80BA, ~38K sqft for just $2.35M!
Monticello, Indiana on #SaturdayNightZillow
zillow.com/homedetails/19…?
I am jealous of this sweet washer and dryer. #SaturdayNightZillow
Think of the weddings you could have in this sweet, 300-person banquet hall. The property has parking for 200 cars! #SaturdayNightZillow
Read 4 tweets
Steven Dennis Profile picture
Apr 9
NEW: A new most expensive home in New York just dropped.

$175M for this?? Southampton. cc: @jeneps zillow.com/homedetails/So…
It's just a big beach house. I don't get it.
Fun fact: This house costs almost exactly 1,000 years of a United States Senator's salary. About 438 years for a U.S. president's salary. 24 million hours at minimum wage.

And that's assuming those salaries weren't taxed!
Read 4 tweets

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