Thread by @brazelMAGIC

Today I will be attending a local Rugby League game for the first time in ages. It also happens to be the first local derby for four years. Join me for an adventure to the grassroots (A thread). #swoop #ycpp #Group2

This will be made even more interesting due to the new #tlil policy which includes some pretty heavy handed penalties that appear aimed at preventing any kind of Matchday banter from supporters.

I would be on about my twentieth life ban if this policy was introduced 12 years ago.

So instead of being noisy at the game today I will be reserving my outward derision towards match officials and opposition players and fans for this thread.

Instead of yelling at the ground I will yell into the Twitter void where I can still be in trouble but not see the club I support get sanctioned. At least that's the plan.

Funnily enough my therapist spoke to me this morning about the power of writing to externalise and process anger. Today seems like the ideal warm up.

Just for some context, I've just been out to visit my old man, a former player for the Macksville Sea Eagles, who are today playing traditional local rivals Nambucca Heads.

Apparently he told his best mate he wouldn't go if I was going because I embarrass him and cause too much trouble. This is harsh. I mean, it did happen once but it was a long time ago.

Me personally, I've just come off the back of three days at Bluesfest so I'm certainly match fit when it comes to standing in a muddy paddock drinking overpriced alcohol.

Right now though it's time for a quick pub feed and a couple of looseners.

Bit of interest in today's game given local boy and one of the game's GOATs, Greg Inglis, has signed for Macksville this year. I'm not at the ground yet so not sure if he's playing today.

The other big name signing is Frankie Winterstein who is probably best known for his wife's questionable takes on public health initiatives. Whilst he's in a Macksville jersey I will be overlooking this.

Speaking of which, I have been RAT testing since my return from Byron and have once again tested negative. If I was better looking I'd be the poster boy for triple vaccination.

Biggest issue right now is whether my food will arrive in time to be demolished before kickoff.

If you'd actually rather see the game than put up with my inane rambling there is a Livestream at facebook.com/macksvilleseae…

According to staff members of a couple of licensed premises the constabulary have been around to remind them of their RSA responsibilities. This is a good sign.

Starting to feel a bit like Richard Roxburgh doing Roger Rogerson in Blue Murder WHERE'S ME FUCKEN FOOD?

Shit. If nothing else previous tweet proves I'm not lying about day drinking and I'm only one schooner deep.

As if by magic... Ok time to inhale this.

I'm in. Macksville have won all 3 grades. Time for first grade. Still only $7 to get in, no COVID tax here.

Decent crowd in.

It smells like Bluesfest but it's only $5 for a tin of mid strength. INGLIS IS PLAYING OMG.

GI on bench

Macksville kick off.

I really can't day drink. This Super Dry will be my last. Uninspiring opening sets from both teams but Nambucca pinned in their half

Very heavy track. If this was Bowraville races it'd have been called off.

Nambucca crowd more animated early

First attack from Roosters killed by dropped ball.

Macksville straight up other end, Welsh scores to the right of the posts at Members end.

Ticket prices haven't changed but neither has the atrocious refereeing. If not for this thread I could have had this game abandoned three times in the last set alone.

Blair converts. 6-0 to the Mighties.

GI still on bench, 17

Macksville dominating up the guts but poor pass leads to attack break down.

Defence from both teams typically brutal with plenty of non NRL afters.

Haven't wanted to yell at ref for a while which is odd.

No sign of Winterstein. Probably COVID.

Lindsay scores after a superb bit of work up the right hand flank, 10-0

Superb ball from Crash to put the winger into space

Blair knocks over the conversion. 12-zip. This is all a bit too zen calm for my liking.

Damo Carriage is a locomotive, let's see some runaway train.

Roosters score. Can see the game getting interesting tbh, both teams heavy legged in the mud.

12-6 GI is on

GIs first carry looks dangerous, slips, then it's stacks on from Nambucca with plenty of seasoning.

Sam Miles, who only ever operates in beast mode, crashes over. Conversion shanked low. 16-6 Macksville.

Btw, touchie that didn't see all the head massaging on GI redeemed himself overturning dodgy knock on call.

GI almost in again.

Nambucca down to 12, ten in the bin for hooker holding down in tackle.

Macksville like a seagull (sea eagle?) all over a hot chip. Simpson scores. 20-6 after hooked conversion.

Nambucca player is like how I feel day drinking. Cow bell rings. It's half time at Allan Gillette Oval.

FUCK WHY WASNT I TOLD ABOUT THIS EARLIER?

2nd half underway there might only be 3 cans of ginger beer left so I'm going back to the bar.

Too slow for Ginger Beer. Fuck. Probably for the best though.

Errors from both sides early.

Even with the ginger beer running out I'm struggling to get angry. WTF? Have I finally grown up? Am I MATURE?

Welsh off to the sheds, limping.

Ginger beer confirmed gone. Only Iron Jack or Gold left. No and no.

Bit of an arm wrestle but Saunders goes in and it's Macksville 26-6 after conversion. Honestly, bust out the Mr Sheen, the trophy cabinet is going to see some action this year.

Miles under posts after silly lead up play heavily influenced by GI. Chooks look wrecked. 32-6.

Somebody call the RSPCA, there's a bunch of roosters being torn apart in the middle of Macksville.

That was meant to say silky lead up play.

Atkins scores out wide, 36-6. Inglis off. Carriage on.

More day drinking blues. Maybe that's why there's no ginger beer left. Conversion misses.

Might be getting sunburnt here.

This could be the least inept refereeing I have ever seen on a Group 2 first grade game and it's freaking me out a bit.

Simpson has been a handful all day and waltzes through tiring Nambucca defence for another try. Conversion by Blair. 42-6.

WE WANT 50!!!!!

Nambucca players looking more worn out than I was after half an Amy Shark song at Bluesfest.

Tough love policy is a joke. Clear punch thrown. Nothing called.
So I yelled.

I GOT AWAY WITH IT.
GAME ON.

Full time. Proud of the boys. Proud of me taking 78 minutes to yell. Rugby league is the winner.

@threadreaderapp unroll please