Thread by @JessLMatthews96

Someone with a diagnosis of BPD, is NOT a bad person. Here’s why ( a 🧵) -

There are 9 ‘symptoms’ of BPD; briefly, they are- a fear of abandonment/rejection, paranoia, intense emotions, impulsivity, limited sense of ‘self’, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, anger, and feeling empty

To receive a diagnosis, you have to reach a criteria of 5/9 ‘symptoms’.

That means there are OVER 200 possible presentations of BPD.

BPD can be seen as a ‘spectrum’ - you can have all 9 symptoms, or just 5. Or even 3 or 4 and be told you have ‘traits’ of BPD.

With over 200 possible variations, everyone who has BPD experiences it differently. For me, I felt lost & scared in the world, and unable to cope with those feelings, I turned to self harm and then suicide. I couldn’t communicate my distress, so acted my needs out via self harm.

You know someone with BPD who fears abandonment? Who has had unstable relationships? Who doesn’t know who they are? Who has intense emotions? I can say the same for those without BPD too. Because these are human experiences we ALL have, yet we don’t all have a BPD label.

A common belief is someone with BPD is ‘manipulative’. When we label someone as ‘manipulative’, it’s usually because we don’t like or understand the behaviour. Behind every behaviour is a NEED. To be manipulative is to be human. We all display manipulative behaviour at some point

Behaviour can really only be considered manipulative though, if there is intent behind the behaviour. Those with BPD don’t intend to cause harm or distress to the people around them. Just like most other people without BPD. But, we all still have needs.

Yet those with BPD are demonised. Someone with BPD can’t do anything - they can’t express emotion, ask questions, ask for support, make a decision, etc - without it coming back to BPD and ultimately being labelled as ‘manipulative’.

There is so much more to BPD than what is talked/written about by the media, and by professionals. It’s not just about emotional instability, or whatever idea you have in your head. BPD often stems from trauma, and not learning the skills to deal with emotions/life.

And with that, someone who is ‘abusive’ is abusive because that’s who they are/choose to be, and has NOTHING to do with the fact they have a diagnosis of BPD.

It is SO easy for the media & for society to stick a PD label on someone and say ‘that’s why they’re abusive’.

Yes some abusers might have BPD, but that is not the reason they are an abuser. BPD is not an excuse for behaviour.

Please don’t fall into the trap of believing that a BPD diagnosis = abuser. It doesn’t. Those of us with BPD are on the whole, good people, like the rest of you.

I have so much more I’d like to say on this, but a thread can’t capture how I feel or think. All I know, is that those of us with BPD live with incessant stigma every single day which is perpetuated by the media in cases such as #JohnnyDeppVsAmberHeard

If you don’t understand what BPD is, take some time and research it. Engage with people who have lived experience, and keep an open mind. Remember that bad people do bad things, regardless of whether they have a PD.

This thread is based on my personal experiences.
#BPD

For some clarity, in terms of manipulative behaviour and intent: when I was I’ll, I self-harmed as a way to communicate I needed help. This caused distress to my family. I didn’t intend to cause that distress, I was trying to have my needs met = not manipulative.