BREAKING: Biden Admin Department of Homeland Security to create a 'Disinformation Governance Board' dedicated to 'countering misinformation'
The DHS board will be headed by Nina Jankowicz, who once claimed militarized Trump supporters would show up to the polls with weapons to intimidate voters
Jankowicz is also known for forming a Harry Potter "wizard rock band" known as the Moaning Myrtles.
Here's Nina in 2020
Jankowicz formerly worked as an advisor to the Ukrainian government under a Fulbright-Clinton Fellowship
What could go wrong
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Many, many people have observed that a party thrown for the sole purpose of giving meaning to a terrible pun, let alone such a party being thrown annually, is evidence of the barrenness, sterility, and essential misery of millennial culture. You might call it Millennial Malaise. No one who was capable of real laughter would, after all, be even tempted to laugh at “Hanksgiving.” However, lost in this (admittedly deserved) mockery is an understanding of how a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy could ever have been so thoroughly emasculated, both mentally and (often) physically, that they’d find this funny. And so, to that end, I come to explain the origins of “Hanksgiving,” not to mock it; or at least, not solely to mock it.
It's far from a Nobel Prize winning observation that the millennial generation is depressed. A popular observation about depression is that it is nothing but anger turned inwards, and when it comes to millennials, I have no reason to argue with that sentiment. However, unfortunately, for as many reasons as millennials have to be angry, they also lack any obvious way to fix those sources of anger. This has led it to metastasize into depression, which now masquerades as ironic detachment that somehow still manages to be cringe.
But why are they angry? Well, as an elder millennial myself (aka, Centennial), let me count the ways:
Firstly, over the past decades, the cost of living has ballooned, even as the cost of labor has stayed stagnant. In particular, homeownership and the ability to raise children are now thoroughly outside the price range of most young people, in part due to the fact that many colleges preyed on the hopes of millennials (and, more importantly, their parents) in order to get them to accept excessive loans with exorbitant interest rates. Many of those colleges, it should be noted, were the ones with the lowest salary potential. Many elite schools, on the other hand, leave students with comparatively little student debt. This means that it is often precisely the people who graduated with degrees in useless subjects, from schools that only look impressive to Barista hiring managers, who have the highest amount of debt: debt which they can never escape, even in bankruptcy, and which has the power to wipe out a huge amount of their earning potential, and thus their potential for upward mobility. Yet hope and maturation are both intrinsically tied to the chance for upward mobility, and absent both, you get a powder keg of childish rage turned to fatalism.
Napoleon is so bad holy shlit you need to avoid this steaming pile of garbage
Portrays him as deranged. And just jumps randomly from event to event. Like a Wikipedia article. Theres no narrative or explanation. Focus is all Josephine. All the battle scenes are just the trailer clips you already saw
Joaquin Phoenix totally phones it in too, gotta say
If you needed unexpected good news, it has just emerged that 2024 will mark the end of a sordid career: a career belonging to a backstabbing, out-of-touch puppet for special interests.
I mean the career of one Willard Mitt Romney, alias Pierre Delecto, and sometimes known (at least to me) as Serpentinus Willardus, a breed of snake whose aggressiveness is only matched by the harmlessness of its venom. And now that this particular snake has finally decided to crawl back under its rock, I think it’s time we refresh our memory as to why many consider Willard Romney the most useless Republican of the modern age.