Thread by @euphoriasadvent

#kimcom no scenarios au with a dash of #joongdok as side dish, where kim dokja decides to become a little shit and starts saying some interesting facts about animals and their... habits.

as requested by anon who i actually know who but won't reveal for privacy reasons.

putting this up here before we unroll this... prompt request.

tw: mentions of fecal matter and other disgusting habits of animals (i don't hate any of them, it's just for the plot 😭), implied NSFW at the end.

rip to bb hyunsung 😔🙏🏻
press f in qrt y'all

• • • • •

"hey, hyunsung-ssi." they hear kim dokja call out to the gentle giant seated along with them, the reader's eyes glinting in faux fascination as lee hyunsung looks back at their leader with a slight tilt on his head, reminiscent of an inquiring pup.

kim dokja toothily grins back, as han sooyoung grumbles under her breath and takes a lemon-flavored lollipop, angrily crunching onto the hardened sweets as she watches the chaos unfold in front of her.

"what is it, dokja-ssi?" the innocent one between the two replied, still

-

anticipating for whatever that his leader is trying to tell him as his ears perk alongside his undivided attention.

"do you know that dogs usually eat their own feces?"

and just like that, kim dokja drops the bomb without much fanfare, his eyes swirling with mirth at the

-

priceless reaction that lee hyunsung dons on his face, mouth gaping and eyes wide as his hand slowly slacks, the telltale signs of his club sandwich slowly sliding away and falling from his grasp.

jung heewon wordlessly prepares the poor guy's tray below his arms, knowing to

-

herself that her idiot of a squid will sooner or later scar their most innocent member of the group.

kim dokja nods back fervently, still keeping up on the act of being amused of such a disgusting information while their whole company is trying to eat their fill for lunch break.

"yeah!! they actually got that out of habit when they were still living in the wild and that it's their way of keeping their dens clean!!" he continues, hands flailing around the air as the rest of the members just sigh at the loss of another comrade.

beside him, yoo joonghyuk grumbles under his own breath, eyes flitting towards lee seolhwa who smiles back at him with unease and exasperation.

she mouths back at him a simple "good luck" before resuming on finishing her own lunch, intent on blocking anymore sounds from

-

kim dokja to reach her ears while she eats beside her girlfriends uriel and gabriel, and alongside everyone else.

yoo joonghyuk could only look unamused at the sight of kim dokja still spouting nonsense as the people surrounding him deafen his voice from ever reaching them,

-

now talking about how dogs regularly lick their genitals to maintain their good hygiene down there, and how dogs smelling their kin's asses is how they're able to learn anything regarding their other kind.

lee hyunsung, the poor man that he is, could only try to kindly digest

-

anything and everything that his dokja-ssi is telling him while the gentle bear valiantly tries to finish eating his own club sandwich in already disrupted peace and quiet.

yoo joonghyuk wordlessly tells him his condolences as he tucks inside the small golden locket back into

-

the safety of his pants. that can wait for a better timing; for now, he'll have to divert his reader's attention to somewhere else or lee hyunsung will finish his break without eating a single thing.

fast forward, and as yoo joonghyuk kisses the sensitive nape of his husband

-

for seven years, the two of them already doing the deed for the nth time already while the alarm clock tells them that it's already midnight, he hears kim dokja complaining how he couldn't do it anymore after being done senseless for god knows how long.

yoo joonghyuk tilts

-

his head to the sight as his hands busy themselves on tying his sixth use for the night and his mouth rips open another one.

"you might die kim dokja," the taller amongst the two warns his lover as he adjusts both their positions on their shared bed, keeping kim dokja safe

-

under his pillow as yoo joonghyuk continues his words.

"what are y- you talking about...?!" kim dokja angrily asks him, his waist feeling sore as well as his painfully red hips and dried out throat.

"female ferrets die if they don't mate once they go into heat after all."

with that, yoo joonghyuk slowly resumes his rhythm without waiting for his lover's response, smirking at the dawning realization that comes across on kim dokja's face at how he was done dirty with his own tactics many years ago.

"y- you—ah ah—you ba- bastard, i'm not a ferret!!"

— end of thread.

i am so sorry for this abomination, and to the anon who is not actually an anon, i hope this satisfied you because i really tried doing my research for this 🚪🧍🏻‍♂️

shout at me in my cc with your thoughts about me, or my works!!

curiouscat.live/euphoriasadvent