The Met Gala attendees as your startup colleagues, a thread:
The founders:
Inspiring and terrifying. Mysterious and inscrutable. Same T-shirt everyday but new plan of action every hour. Make biweekly townhall threats to “change the world”
Inspiring and terrifying. Mysterious and inscrutable. Same T-shirt everyday but new plan of action every hour. Make biweekly townhall threats to “change the world”
Head, Partnerships
3x serial entrepreneur with successful exits. Favors black turtlenecks and monosyllables. Logs into zoom calls from their house in the mountains 3 hours outside the city…Is that a copy of ‘The Fountainhead’ on their bookshelf?!
3x serial entrepreneur with successful exits. Favors black turtlenecks and monosyllables. Logs into zoom calls from their house in the mountains 3 hours outside the city…Is that a copy of ‘The Fountainhead’ on their bookshelf?!
Sales
Voted most popular in high school. You’d have what they’re having but their energy levels scare you. Lived for Coachella, now 3x Burning Man attendee.
Voted most popular in high school. You’d have what they’re having but their energy levels scare you. Lived for Coachella, now 3x Burning Man attendee.
VP of something hyper specific you’ve never heard of
MBA from a top school. Says things like “Let’s not boil the ocean here, Sid” & “Can you send this by the pre-kend?” Wanted to join public service but here they are, the bureaucracy.
MBA from a top school. Says things like “Let’s not boil the ocean here, Sid” & “Can you send this by the pre-kend?” Wanted to join public service but here they are, the bureaucracy.
Marketing
Dreamt of being a full-time fiction writer but quit for a practical/financially viable option. Now they’re a Top 100 Inspiring CMO. Admin to a secret Blackpink fan account on IG with 100k followers. Checks Co-star astrology daily to see what their future holds.
Dreamt of being a full-time fiction writer but quit for a practical/financially viable option. Now they’re a Top 100 Inspiring CMO. Admin to a secret Blackpink fan account on IG with 100k followers. Checks Co-star astrology daily to see what their future holds.
Customer Support
Their WhatsApp status says “Good vibes only!” Masters at convincing you that their idea was your idea all along! You’ll leave every conversation feeling happy but slightly confused.
Their WhatsApp status says “Good vibes only!” Masters at convincing you that their idea was your idea all along! You’ll leave every conversation feeling happy but slightly confused.
Product
The good vibes start here! Translates high tech to high emotion for user delight. Loves travel, beaches, golden retrievers and costume parties. Smokes one mint cigarette a week.
The good vibes start here! Translates high tech to high emotion for user delight. Loves travel, beaches, golden retrievers and costume parties. Smokes one mint cigarette a week.
UI UX/ Design
Infinitely patient with your 50th “minor” modification request. Loves EDM music. Has a vast collection of graphic tees.
Infinitely patient with your 50th “minor” modification request. Loves EDM music. Has a vast collection of graphic tees.
Engineering
Fueled by triple shot espressos. They do not have time for this, and they do not have time for you! The dark knight owls secretly saving the company and everyone in it from self combustion. Not appreciated enough but also dgaf.
Fueled by triple shot espressos. They do not have time for this, and they do not have time for you! The dark knight owls secretly saving the company and everyone in it from self combustion. Not appreciated enough but also dgaf.
Finance
You worry they’re scrutinizing your requests for premium versions of various software, or secretly judging your client meetings expensing (3 cocktails, really?!) But really they have bigger things on their mind. EBITDAAAA !!!!
You worry they’re scrutinizing your requests for premium versions of various software, or secretly judging your client meetings expensing (3 cocktails, really?!) But really they have bigger things on their mind. EBITDAAAA !!!!
Data Science
Introvert. Warm and fuzzy on the inside. Spends half the time preparing data and the other half complaining. Has at least one obscure hobby.
Introvert. Warm and fuzzy on the inside. Spends half the time preparing data and the other half complaining. Has at least one obscure hobby.
IT
“Have you tried turning it off and then on again?” And no, they’re not spying on you and judging your Netflix choices.
“Have you tried turning it off and then on again?” And no, they’re not spying on you and judging your Netflix choices.
HR
People person. Middle child and family peacemaker. Tired but upbeat. Has a yoga training certification from Bali and a subscription to Harvard Business Review. “Can’t we all just get along?”
People person. Middle child and family peacemaker. Tired but upbeat. Has a yoga training certification from Bali and a subscription to Harvard Business Review. “Can’t we all just get along?”
Growth Hackers
No one really knows what exactly they do but they’re here and they’re a lot.
No one really knows what exactly they do but they’re here and they’re a lot.
Compliance
You can never tell if they’re here to help you or to murder you.
You can never tell if they’re here to help you or to murder you.
The intern
Here for the “experience” and the office snacks. TBH anyone who spends 3 months at chaos central and willingly wants to stay longer probably deserves to!
Here for the “experience” and the office snacks. TBH anyone who spends 3 months at chaos central and willingly wants to stay longer probably deserves to!
Who did we miss? 😉
Legal
Star MUNers and debaters through school. The best dressed people at any startup. Love ProtonMail, Latin phrases and saying “it depends”. Will put c̵o̵m̵p̵a̵n̵y̵ ̵s̵e̵c̵r̵e̵t̵s̵ ̵their tales of startup intrigue into a thriller novel someday.
Star MUNers and debaters through school. The best dressed people at any startup. Love ProtonMail, Latin phrases and saying “it depends”. Will put c̵o̵m̵p̵a̵n̵y̵ ̵s̵e̵c̵r̵e̵t̵s̵ ̵their tales of startup intrigue into a thriller novel someday.
Operations
Has 10 projects hanging by 1 thread at any time. Translates hazy startup dreams into concrete goals accomplished through brute force. On phone 24x7. Bikes solo every Sunday afternoon. Partners must schedule romantic dates via Google calendar 1 week in advance.
Has 10 projects hanging by 1 thread at any time. Translates hazy startup dreams into concrete goals accomplished through brute force. On phone 24x7. Bikes solo every Sunday afternoon. Partners must schedule romantic dates via Google calendar 1 week in advance.
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