After spiritual abuse, my mind wanted to be in church again.
But my body screamed that she didn't feel safe there.
As a disabled woman, I already knew that healing is not a matter of trying harder to believe.
As a trauma-informed therapist, I recognized that being inside the church was pushing my body and her safety right out the door.
So, for the first time in my life, I stopped going to church to give my mind + body a chance to become friends with God again.
Today, with whatever confusion + pain you feel around church, I hope you’ll give yourself space to explore a faith that doesn’t leave your body behind.
There is worship in the wilderness.
There is healing for our wounds.
There is communion
given from hands
that do not crush us.
There is a Body that is bigger,
gentler, and more expansive
than can fit under a steeple.
Nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ.
So much more of this story + the healing that has come is in my new book, #TheLordIsMyCourage. If this resonated with you at all, I hope you’ll give yourself room to explore it more by joining The Fold. (It’s a free resource when you preorder the book.) bit.ly/thefoldTLiMC
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The body count of believers who have been used and abused in the church is astoundingly high. But so many people hesitate to name their experience as “traumatic.” (For so many reasons).
Here’s some [non-exhaustive] help to name your experience:
Were you overwhelmed by the expectations placed on you?
Did you feel pretty alone as you tried to face the pain of your church situation?
Did you have somatic symptoms during or after? (Panic attacks, more/sickness infections than usual, exhaustion)
Yes? It was traumatic.
Do you avoid visiting the area of town your church was in?
Do you find yourself looking over your shoulder in public to make sure no one is listening?
Are you worried you might see a former staff/church member at the store?
Your body experienced your former church as unsafe.
Hello podcasting people! What are your favorite shows that cultivate nuanced conversations around faith, religious trauma, spiritual abuse, deconstruction etc? My new book’s coming out June 21st, and I have been saying no to interviews for so long I don’t know where to begin. 😂
Things this new book is about: Psalm 23, practicing courage even when you feel crushed, nervous system regulation, spiritual abuse, leaving harmful religious communities, finding a new expression of faith + safety with God, healing from religious trauma amzn.to/3w7duPH
So, what podcasts would you like to hear me have a conversation on? What podcast hosts would make tender conversation partners about this? Tag away. Also, I’m gonna not take it personally if no one replies to this tweet. This part of book launching is all kinds of weird. 🫶🏼
I so want you to know that the parts of yourself that you most hate and blame and hide are the parts that hold great wisdom and the possibility of joy.
Sensitivity is a gift to steward.
But for many years I would have called mine a curse.
In my new book, I decided to share some of my story of shifting from cursing my stress to blessing my sensitivity. Along the way, I realized just how many of us feel like we are too much.
When my therapist named that I am a highly sensitive person, "she saw the one part of myself it seemed that everyone—including myself—had labeled as too broken. And she blessed it instead….The part of me that had been most shamed + silenced was the part of me that was wisest.”
Today the church remembers that *before* Jesus turned water into wine, cast out demons, or healed the blind, the Father publicly named him Beloved.
The baptism of Jesus is the best news for those of us who keep getting stuck in the mud at the riverbank’s shore, hoping our work will give us worth, hoping we can do and be more.
Before Christ accomplished anything amazing, he was named Beloved.
And his baptism didn’t lead him into bliss. Instead, the first place the Spirit leads Christ is into the wilderness to confront Evil for forty days and nights.
I'm a complex trauma survivor, as are most of my clients. Many of us with trauma histories feel extra tender and easily overwhelmed right now, and I think our wise bodies are telling us something that's true for everyone: we were not made to hold the weight of global injustice.
Psychologists like Paul Slovic have long identified the reality of psychic numbing.
Our empathy for suffering and loss declines exponentially as we're faced with more and more victims.
The human nervous system is wired for empathy to be sustained in the shape of faces and places near us.
If everything feels
like too much right now
it's because it is.