"Where do I stand on the -- on the WHAT? The "Transgender Question"? Well for one thing, sir, I recall the last few usages of that particular phraseology. A group of millions is not a question -- I have not yet finished speaking -- not a question, but a demographic."
"The Romans had their castrated priestesses, the Hindus their Hijras, but my god, let us take to the barricades because Uncle Al came to Thanksgiving in a skirt and pantyhose! It's the province of rubes. Hayseed reactionaries and the worst effluvia of America's suburban colon."
"And Chapelle! My god, Chapelle. Embarrassing as only a true great can become in his declining years -- I speak here with complete self-awareness; kindly hold your barbs -- as he tires of innovation and falls back into the soporific cushion of the lowest common denominator!"
"One joke stretched until you can hear its joints popping like some poor bastard broken on the rack. "Oh my car has pronouns, I identify as a bird, I'm trans-Chinese." The laziness of it -- shameful. You should see the transgendered roast themselves; there's true scorched earth."
Should Mr. LaMarche wish to contact us, we are available at our Boston offices weekdays during East Coast business hours.
I credit Dungeons & Dragons and @dick_nixon with any and all facility for imitation I may possess.
Mr. Welles and the president enjoy a cordial relationship.
If you like me talking smack in the key of Orson Welles, you might enjoy my movie reviews and my curated community theater <3 Consider subscribing for as little as a dollar a month to challenge your taste and learn about film!

patreon.com/scumbelievable
"I had not intended to mention Gervais -- one forgets the presence of rodents about one's feet so easily -- but the man insists on rearing up onto his haunches to squeak for the camera. A gerbil which has somehow mastered the projection of smugness. Repellent."

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More from @scumbelievable

Jun 5
Just say you only want to watch children's cartoons and babyfood sitcoms and leave the rest of us queers out of your boring thumbsucking.

buttondown.email/charliejane/ar…
"Sweetweird". My God.
Yeah, noted sweetweird literary landmarks Nevada, Stone Butch Blues, Detransition, Baby, The Haunting of Hill House, Wilding, The Books of Blood, Lost Souls, Supermasochist, Moby Dick, etc etc blah blah blah
Read 6 tweets
Jan 12
"The McElroy brothers? Don't -- my god -- don't trouble me with that. Sexless fraternity dropouts failing their way upward with a string of projects one might charitably describe as a sort of 'Blue's Clues' aimed at a generation of young adults terrified of their own genitalia."
"My favorite what? Marvel movie? Have you got a favorite sawdust, Andrew?"
"Vicious little pastel clergy reciting years-old forum arguments between unintelligible virgins in place of fire and brimstone -- at least with the old inquisition you might learn a bit of scripture as they readied the rack. 'Tenderqueers.' My God."
Read 17 tweets
Jan 12
No. I'm drawing a line.
This will not go down while I live.
Read 5 tweets
Jan 10
The farther I get from the already dull experience of watching the new Matrix movie, the more I dislike it.
It's not Marvel, but that doesn't make it good. It has no themes. No good action scenes. No justification for existing beyond winking at the idea of cannibalizing a beloved corpse and then doing it anyway. Nice to look at, sometimes.
Characters are absolutely nothing.
Read 4 tweets
Dec 11, 2021
Scratch that, pushing to five!
Here we gooooo!
Read 4 tweets
Oct 12, 2021
I feel like I've been a Negative Nelly on here the past few days, so here are some things I love and recommend you try out for yourself.

1. The art and comics of Julia Gfrörer (@thorazos)
etsy.com/shop/thorazos
2. WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLD'S FAIR by Jane Schoenbrun (@janeschoenbrun) Image
3. The twitter of my good pal @boneysoups for costuming observations, film crew union news, and jokes that will make you feel like you snorted whatever you were drinking into your nose, but it was nice to do so.
Read 6 tweets

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