Thread by @Ben_mar_moo

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Boyfriend (now fiance) of K here. Both of these wonderful humans are too kind, wonderful, and professional to provide all of the details.
I, however, am none of these things and (with permission) will be supplying some... Color to the story.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat I'll preface the following be reiterating that I am NOT as nice and T or K, and don't do well with people mistreating folks I care about. So before I get mean, I want to stop and say that I appreciate the way this community is showing up for my humans. Y'all are wonderful.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat A quick note about the following: these stories are in no particular order because the whole weekend was such an absolute flustercuck that I my sense of time, already warped by covid lockdowns, was shattered into 1k pieces and went fully on vacation for the duration of our stay.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Also, I’m gonna use some bad language, sorry if you’re offended by my vernacular and liberal use of fuck. I don’t do well people being shitty to those I care about and was asked repeatedly over the course of the weekend...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat ... we were there not to say anything to these pathetic excuses for humans, so I’ve got a little pent up rage that I’ll do my best to keep somewhat humorous. No promises, remember; I’m not as nice as K or T.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat So, we’ve all read how S gave K shit about drinking 3 glasses of wine over 4+ hrs. But let’s talk about how ~not 48hrs later~ S get absolutely blasted over dinner (I’m talking slurring, unsteadiness, the works) which was somehow different. Perhaps because she “budgeted” for it…

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat whatever the fuck that means. I won’t diet shame, we’re all out here dealing with our shit, but hypocrisy… hoo boy. That’s a pretty fucking big glass house to be hucking such a large stone. But maybe that’s just me.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Also, if you’re supposedly a “real professional” maybe keep my sex life “out ya fuckin’ mouth”. Just a thought.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat While we’re on the topic of boozy dinner, let me tell you about the absolute worst game of… I don’t even want to call it D&D because it feels disrespectful; it was some stupid fucking bastardization where everyone rolled nat 20’s and each round of combat was DM’d by ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat the person to the left of the previous DM. You may find yourself asking, “boyfiance, did S or J volunteer to start this shit game, since it was their terrible idea?” And to that, dear reader, I say nay; twas I. I won’t go into detail about how terrible of an experience ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat ... it is to have to make up some bullshit for the worst version of one of the best games in the world, because while it was bad, it doesn’t even compare to the horrors they unleashed upon the table: taking the RP from TTRPG and making it the sexy kind. At dinner. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat ... With four other people. I’m talking “‘Oh Bashra/Vashra/whatever your sword is so big!’ As I stroke his massive bicep…” now, I am all for acting at the table, but for the love of god don’t make four other humans feel like we’re being forced to watch your foreplay. For 45mins.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat I have never been so viscerally uncomfortable at a dinner table in my entire 30 years on this planet - and I have family members with highly questionable political beliefs.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Later that same evening while at a bathhouse, we get to talking about relationships both past and present. To get straight into it, J’s ex-wife (that poor, poor woman) comes up. Now, I don’t remember everything that was said, but what I DO remember ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat ... as clear as day was that he bragged about how he had “only gotten hotter with time” and that “she had turned into a cow” - they have a daughter together and share custody. Tbh, I hope she gets full custody sans visitation at some point for the sake of that little munchkin ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat There are worse things than not having a father and one of those is having ~that~ gaping asshole as one of your parents. There ain’t enough therapy in the world for that shit. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Also, for someone who claims to be all enlightened and shit (see the exceedingly funny bit about Mazlowe’s hierarchy of needs) to make the claim that, of the fight, flight, or freeze responses, that they “only have fight” strikes me as hilariously ignorant. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat I won’t tell you which one of those shitbags made that claim, but it sounds like lameison. I mean, homeskillet, we know that you’ve got the emotional capacity of a teaspoon (because you’re probably a sociopath and possibly a full on psychopath) but why you’d say something THAT..

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat mind-numbingly stupid with pride is truly beyond me.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Rewind (I think) to the point in time where the stream is offline because of Jamison “I-definitely-did-not-press-that-button-because-I’m-a-professional” Stone. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat We’re eating lunch while the aforementioned asshat complains loudly that he “could be out there making money.” Dear reader, let me remind you that this fucking clown was contracted for the entirety of the weekend. Meaning, he was already making money. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat What I assume he meant to say was “ I could be out there selling a book I didn’t write, breaching my contract, and masturbating in public while taking advantage of the public right now”. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat I can’t be sure, because I am not yet capable of understanding how a dog’s brain works, but I like to think that’s what he meant. ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Oh, and S told K repeatedly that she should start getting work done on her face sooner rather than later, cause she “regretted not starting sooner.” I know what you’re thinking “this must have been solicited advice, S and J are really excellent about not overstepping boundaries.”

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat I hope you’re sitting down because I’m about to blown your socks off: it wasn’t. I get it, we all have insecurities, but how about you keep your bullshit beliefs about beauty standards to your fuckin’ self. My fiancé is stunning just the way she is, and I’ll absolutely ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat throw hands with anyone who wants to say otherwise. There truly was no aspect of life that they didn’t make it absolutely clear that they thought they were better at than everyone else in a way that can truly only be described as fantasy villain-like. It was like real-life Malfoy

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat One thing that stands out to me in retrospect is that, when I wasn’t busy running to grab tweedledum and tweedledumber lunch, or whatever else they’re apparently incapable of getting for themselves, I was attempting to attend as many talks about development in the gaming ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat industry as I possibly could. After one these talks I was able to snag one of the speakers who had worked with talent in the past and asked him for advice on the situation. After 15min of chatting and an abbreviated rundown, he asked who the people were that I was referring to...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat (I had initially kept their names out of the conversation because I can also be professional from time to time) and when I told him, his response was “ahhh” and knowing look. He told me to tell K to keep her head up and promised that not everyone is that shitty—something that ...

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat you all are proving to be very true.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Oh, and J doesn’t wear deodorant. That’s not in any way related to the above, I just wanted y’all to know that he’s as much a stinky rat fuck on the outside as he is on the inside.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Thanks for coming to my fuckin' TED talk. <3

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat And sorry for the typos. I've been holding this in for a while and am *vibrating* with adrenaline and excitement at finally being able to release these feels.

@TheTriscuit @KMDeMat Ohohoh and hashtags so I can make sure they see this: what's up, you fuckin' assholes?

#jamisonstone #jamison #stone #satinepheonix #satine #pheonix #stonepheonix #keepmyfrinedsnamesoutyafuckinmouth