Thread by @JaronRMJohnson

After some discussions with some close and trusted friends who were also affected, I've decided to share my experiences working under Jamison Stone re: the Satine Phoenix and JS happenings.

Full disclosure, my story is very small by comparison. But I need to talk about it. 🧵

In early 2019, I was contacted by Rick Heinz, @crankybolt, to talk about some stuff I had worked on as it pertained to something he had built (The Red Opera). At the time, I was in love with DnD, and so I immediately showed interest. I read his entire manuscript, many times.i

I loved every bit of it, so I came on board for TRO. I wrote a side quest, a subclass, and also helped polish some of the subraces for the book. I worked directly with Rick and his writing partner Pat @ThePatEdwards. Both of them were gems. Wonderful. The experience was amazing.

Then it came time for Rick to introduce me to Jamison, who was producing the project. Jamison found out I ran my own small business and showed a keen interest in me. He immediately started pumping me up, showing faith in me, telling me I had potential. He wanted me to feel good.

I am ashamed to admit that it worked on me. Very well. I felt seen and recognized for the massive amounts of effort I've put into everything I've done, so many sleepless nights and massive debt suddenly validated. He seemed to want to mentor me. How lucky was I? He had it all!

I spoke with him on a panel about indie game design. He was sunshine and rainbows. Behind the scenes, he found our community discord, and I recommended he build one for apotheosis.

"Why don't you build it? You're already a discord expert!"

I was flattered. Of course I'll do it.

In mid 2020, I built their server. It's apparent when you compare it to ours, but here is a screenshot where I taught him how to use it. I am very embarrassed by this, but I have come to understand how I was manipulated, and that I need to be kind to myself.

Jamison loved the Discord, really flattered me about it, and so it was a no brainer when he asked me to transfer ownership of it to him.

Of course, it's *your* server.

So I did. I helped moderate for a time, until he convinced his most active users to moderate instead.

I can't remember specific timelines and I'm very exhausted just talking about this, but eventually the bard book comes to light. I know Rick is heading it, and I want to take part.

Behind the scenes, Rick is owed thousands of dollars. He gently tells me that I can't work on it.

I find out only months later that he was protecting me. There was room for me on the project, but he did not want me to be potentially affected by what affected him and so many others behind the scenes. Rick singlehandedly saved me here. I have nobody but him to thank for that.

In the meantime, I continue my behind the scenes discussions with Jamison as it pertains to him mentoring me in the industry. He puts me in contact with the fulfillment warehouse that he uses, and says nothing but good things about me to them. I feel like I may have an ally.

The entire time, I have no idea what's happening on the board book behind closed doors. The work on the barred book happened on a different Discord server, where I couldn't see anything. Rick didn't feel comfortable talking to me about it. He didn't want to risk any harm to them.

The running theme through all of my interactions here, are that. Rick singlehandedly saved and protected so many people. A lot of people were still harmed, but Rick did absolutely everything he could. He shouldered the brunt of it. He was screamed at so many times. I didn't know.

Eventually, Jameson asked me to make yet another Discord server, and of course I comply. This one is meant to be for game designers and developers across video games and tabletop games and board games. A huge networking space.

With me having created it? What an opportunity!

So I make it without hesitation. I follow his requests, explaining what can and cannot be done on discord. I make some suggestions. I build it all. It sits now as a quiet graveyard.

I received many promises that this was "underway" and "would be announced soon." It wasn't.

But now I'm glad that it wasn't. If it had gone forward, I can only imagine it would have lead to more harm. And I would have felt responsible, even more so than I do now.

I cut contact with Jamison when I realized he was asking me to work for free (don't do that) last year.

I was invited to the wedding between Jamison and Satine, but by then, Rick had finally started sharing with me some of the things I didn't know. So of course I didn't go. I thought it was weird I was invited in the first place - we didn't know each other well.

Why was I invited?

It's likely I was invited because many of his personal connections are burned bridges. Same with satine. I can only speculate on that now, but it's the only reason I could see. Either that, or he saw me as a valuable target to manipulate. Either way, I am very embarrassed.

I am feeling the way perhaps some others are feeling right now. I am feeling ashamed and embarrassed, I'm feeling incredibly foolish. Duped.

I am trying not to blame myself, and instead recognize that I was manipulated. But it's very hard. I am lucky to have the friends I do.

I am lucky to not have been affected that badly. I am lucky to have a day job that pays my bills, so I didn't have to worry about nonpayments.

I am lucky that Rick protected me.

I am lucky that Chad and others decided to share their stories. I am heartbroken for all of them.

I feel terrible because I feel like I contributed to his reach, I feel like I built a tool for him, and he used it to harm people.

I'm embarrassed because I saw a red flag, and I didn't do enough to stop it. I once saw Jamison demand an apology from one of his volunteers.

A moderator from his discord made a joke that I have attached here. Jameson's response was wildly inappropriate, and I should have said something. I did not. I was scared, and I convinced myself that maybe it wasn't a big deal. Maybe it was just a one-off thing.

It wasn't.

I should have said something then, I should have spoken up and protected Zoph the way Rick protected me, and I didn't. Jamison had me convinced he could do no wrong, that he was too powerful for me to touch. I was wrong to believe him. I am sharing all of this to add validity.

I am also sharing this to show that I was (as I imagine many others were) fooled. I believed a manipulator. I feel shame and guilt and embarrassment.

My friends remind me that, that's what manipulators do. They lie. They lie well. I'm not bad for being taken advantage of.

Even if I feel like I am.

I hope others feel comfortable sharing their stories. I hope you feel safe to rally and expose this behavior. I hope you feel like you're not alone, and that your experience, your feelings, are valid.

#satinephoenix #jamisonstone