Thread by @AmyClarkin

I genuinely do not think a lot of cis het men fully understand the power that them simply telling their friends ‘hey, that behaviour is not ok’ can wield.

Story time from my walk home from a Wedding last night 🧵

I’m in Edinburgh for a friend’s wedding. I left at 10pm to head back to the apartment. It was still bright, my walk along 2 busy main streets & 1 quieter but wide & safe feeling street (all the assessments I’m used to making as a woman going anywhere on her own) so I walked back.

It was 10 minutes away & though I was tired I knew I’d be ok to make it. So I took out my cane & started walking, promising my friends I’d message when I arrived & letting my sister (in Dublin) I was walking now. All precautions that sadly are a usual part of going anywhere alone

Street 1: grand.
Street 2: fine. A group of young guys (maybe 18 to 20? Idk I’m bad at judging ages) are walking behind me. Have clearly had a few drinks, are loudly discussing McDonalds. I’m fantasising about the coco pops I have waiting to snack on at the apartment.

I turn left down the quiet road to the apartment, a 3-4 min walk. The boys turn too. I cross the road. Most of them cross too & are behind me. One of the boys on the other side of the road calls over ‘no, walk on this side.’ Is he trying to make sure I feel comfortable?’ I wonder

The boys behind me are closer now. You know that feeling when someone is in your space? That. I don’t feel threatened, but my hackles are going up. I’m just keeping a steady pace towards my apartment, figuring out when to start taking out my keys.

Don’t speed up: they might think it’s a game. I know how quickly a situation can switch to ‘threatening.’ One starts singing ‘green green dress’. I’m wearing a long green dress. I can feel one to my side, the others behind me. They don’t feel menacing, but it’s not comfortable.

Head down, don’t engage, keep going. Then, a voice, one of the boys from across the road: ‘STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. YOU NEVER DO THAT TO A WOMAN WALKING ON HER OWN.’ Protestations about messing abound. ‘No, it’s not acceptable, don’t do it.’

The others drop back. We’re almost at my apartment. Two of them run ahead to check something (giving me a WIDE berth) & as they go back past me to their friends, 1 says ‘I’m sorry about that.’ I was so taken aback I hope I smiled, but it may have been more of a surprised grimace.

I go into my apartment, let everyone know I’m safe, eat my coco pops. And think about how, just one person standing up & saying ‘this is not acceptable’ made a whole group change their behaviour.

We shouldn’t have to deal with this. We should be able to walk alone without checking the route, the light, letting multiple people know when we’re expected back. But we do. & every time someone tells their mates ‘that isn’t acceptable’ we get a little closer to not having to.

Ok this has really taken off so I’m going to mute it, thanks for the support. Also It’s Pride month so please support your LGBTQ+ pals, especially trans people whose rights are under attack in so many places right now. 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ 🖤🤍

Also I’ve been told I have to mention my debut YA novel is out Spring 2023 with O’Brien Press so if you like ghosts, mysteries, gay panic, people who can’t talk about feelings & who are all keeping secrets this is for you.