Thread by @gooseislands

#allcheng 🔪
OR hear me out- under negotiated allcheng polycule that's a slow burn to destruction

JC in love is different than the one they fell in love with.

https://twitter.com/dodoscreamb/status/1541955106304040960

JC is quiet (content). His fiery attitude (defense) lowered and lowered until only ashes remain (what use is a defense when you're surrounded by love?)

JC had relaxed into the arms of his beloved. The inner child that screamed for attention and praise was quiet for the-

first time he could ever recall.

His hard edges had smoothed under their gentle (and not so gentle) care and attention.

And he thrived for the first time he could remember.

He was... happy

Falling out of love is nothing like falling into it.

Falling in love was fast, near instantaneous between them all. That connection was electric and fought against all social niceties

But the fall out? That was a slow death, bleeding a beast dry one drop at a time

The worst part was- they liked JC, even loved him still.

But the deep romantic love they thought was infinitely deep was... shallower than expected

JC had brought them together, the center of their constellation. But even a mighty oak lost branches in the storm

The first to break off were wrh and lqr- both older and more reserved, they found common ground between them

They still visited and included jc in their plans, but it began to feel less like a date to him and more like he was a 3rd wheel to their happiness.

And that hurt.

More than he thought it would.

These men had fought for him, and promised him things he would never ask for- and he believed them

This love thing was making him soft, he had no more armor left to shore up any defenses against this-this betrayal-

and yet he still loved them enough to wish them happiness (but he still had enough of himself to be bitter about it)

And so their (his) polycule was down two.

There was no fight, or talk. Just an understanding. That was their way.

The next to go were lwj and wwx.

Wwx had all of his firsts and had been making him promises since he moved in

It was a shock

(No it wasnt- wwx had been abandoning him for lwj since they were in hs. If anything, it was a shock it hadn't happened sooner)

He didnt... he didn't take it well.

He'd always been the type to take ugly emotions and make venom to poison everyone in his vicinity.

(Just like his mother)

He burned a lot of bridges that day- and he would burn them again in a heartbeat

(No he wouldn't. Once his anger had huffed and puffed and burned the house down, he would pull all that rage and burn himself down too)

Lxc, nmj, and jgy stayed. They were stubborn and tenacious in their own ways.

They sank their claws into jc and refused to left him leave

(He didn't want them to only choose him bc they were 'keeping their word'. Their words meant nothing without feeling behind them)

Those claws dug in deep and fought for him and when JC finally wrenched himself free he could feel (no he couldn't he was numb. numbnumb nothingatall) the loss of what they had pulled out of him.

They didn't leave him. Oh no, he left them. Pushed with all his might

He might not be the best at recognizing emotions, but he grew up with empty affection

(Jfm buying trinkets for his lovely, in-love wife as a means of appeasing her when all it did was stoke her anger)

And he would rather die alone (that was the plan all along-)

than live a life like his mother.

...

(He knew he wasn't going to be with anyone romantically- not anymore- but he burned more bridges than he thought. In one fell swoop he lost his entire friend group. And he had no one to blame but himself)

(I saw JC crying all day, so I decided to break his heart 💔)

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