Thread by @kevinburch

As parents, how can we navigate the LGBT minefield and *protect* our children?

Here's how 👇

(Will this lose me followers, get me banned, or both?)

🧵THREAD 🧵

First *obvious* point = whether your child is LGB or T, or none of the above, they need your love.

And they also need your parental guidance, and for you to set and enforce boundaries.

Kid test boundaries - we all know that! - but

A child who *wins* whenever they test boundaries

a child who can guilt their parents into getting their own way

is NOT a happier child - they actually become an insecure child.

So when it comes to boundaries and permissions

Your family is NOT a democracy.

Your family is an absolute monarchy - and you, the parents, are King & Queen.

You can be kind, loving monarchs, and you can consult with your subjects - of course! - but YOU are in charge.

Now when it comes to LGB & T...

The first key, Key, KEY thing to get is that...

Being Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual (LGB)

is COMPLETELY different to being Trans (T)

How so?

Sexual orientation - who we are attracted to - is fixed.

This is SUPER important.

It may or may not be 100% fixed at birth, but the point is you cannot change it.

You can't make gay people straight.

You can't make straight people gay.

So

If your child is gay, accept them as they are.

To do otherwise is only gonna make pain for them, and for you.

(And cos your child *could* be gay, it's wise to tell them, in passing, that you'll love them regardless.

Only 3% (yes) of people are gay, but if my kid is in that 3%, I don't want them worrying about my love.

So I tell them in advance.)

[UK stats: tinyurl.com/3jvj9jw]

So that's sexual orientation - the LGB.

Remember how I said being transgender - the T - is completely different?

Well here's the bit that could get me banned...

The key, Key, KEY things to know about "being trans" are:

1. Nobody is "born in the wrong body"

2. Gender dysphoria (GD) is a medical condition, where someone feels unhappy being the sex they are

3. There are THREE different types of GD (this is SUPER important)

(What follows is mega-important if you have a gender-confused child

And also mega-important if you don't, but are concerned about gender ideology being promoted to your kids online or at school.)

Cos here's how Gender Dysphoria (a medical condition) is different to sexual orientation...

It is often NOT fixed.

It *IS* sometimes affected by how people around you behave, and other inputs.

(PLEASE read those sentences again)

And GD can be resolved in one of two ways...

A) Find peace with your biological sex

or

B) Transition to the other gender

And either *can* be valid ways of resolving GD

But which one do you think is going to be easier and simpler?!?!

Clearly "option B) Transition" is gonna be one heck of a ride, with huge, lifelong health implications, and a million-and-one other difficulties.

So consider that "option B) Transition" should be a drastic last resort, NOT a first port of call!

However, you'll have noticed that

Trans activists, & even some teachers & schools, treat "option B) Transition" as FIRST choice.

They want to "affirm" kids' gender confusion.

How come?

They think being transgender is like being gay or lesbian.

They assume it's fixed, so want to "protect" those kids.

Why?

-To "be kind".

-To help those children "live their authentic selves".

(Oh, and to virtue-signal.)

But "affirming" gender-confused kids can be a huge and dreadful mistake!

Many parents intuitively know this.

(To be clear, in the VERY unlikely event that my ADULT child had severe GD, and transition was the *only* way they could find relief, I'd support them.)

So now it's time for the final SUPER important bit...

There are THREE different types of the medical condition Gender Dysphoria (GD).

(Many trans people don't know this, so assume their own experience is common to all - but it isn't.)

Here they are, and what to do in each...

1. Early Onset GD

This can be in very young children.

Many young kids want to "play dress-up" and experiment. That's fine. And that's not GD. Let them get on with it.

And some young kids will insist that they are the opposite gender to their biological sex.

Here's the thing

Most of these kids will grow out of it

*if* they're allowed to grow out of it.

One of the world's top experts in this field, @BlanchardPhD, says that if this is your child, and you don't want them to transition, then

-do NOT let them change their name

-do NOT let them dress up as the opposite sex

-do NOT let them use the other sex's bathroom

-and consistently refer to them as their biological sex.

In other words, do NOT allow "social transition".

(so the OPPOSITE of what activists say)

Young kids will believe the moon is made of cheese if you tell them!

So "affirming" kids' gender-confusion, to be "kind", will

a) make them MORE likely to carry on being confused, rather than grow out of it

b) make MORE kids become gender-confused in first place

Ouch!

2. Rapid Onset GD

This is typically teenage girls who "suddenly" decide they are really boys.

Top experts, like @BlanchardPhD, explain that this is often linked to

-other emotional problems

-time spent online looking for "silver bullet" solutions to those problems

Hence

The "social contagion" phenomenon, where *clusters* of kids at one school will say they're trans.

Remember how confused YOU felt at times as a teenager? I know I was!

As with early onset GD, many of these kids will grow out of it, with the right support.

A great parent

@GabsClark5, has detailed her story of bringing her own teen daughter back from the brink.

She shares the key points in this thread.

And

https://twitter.com/GabsClark5/status/1521911459671912448?s=20&t=dqcI5Fbfn5M_g-vRyImFKg

As with early onset GD

Affirming the teen's "gender identity" will tend to reinforce their belief that they're "in the wrong body".

Whereas

-removing them from the contagious peer group

-taking away their internet

-getting them help with their actual depression/anxiety/autism/other problems

will likely help them more.

So again, the opposite of what the activists say.

So, again, well-intentioned educators who celebrate or affirm "trans identity" in teenagers

a) cause MORE kids to continue to suffer with GD, rather than grow out of it, and

b) cause MORE kids to have GD in the first place.

If you're dealing with this as a parent

Seek out a skilled professional who hasn't drunk the activist Kool-Aid and who can help you and your child with an open mind.

@SashaLPC is one such person.

And ask @GabsClark5 for ideas.

Ok, and the third type of Gender Dysphoria is

3. Autogynephilic GD

This tends to be in men & teen boys & is very different to the others.

The driving force is sexual arousal at the idea of having a woman's body (hence name of this condition).

This is controversial, & is fiercely contested by many trans activists, but

some trans women, such as @DebbieHayton, are open about it having been their driving force.

And, although she hasn't said it, @BlanchardPhD suspects that this is also the case for the most famous trans person in the world, @Caitlyn_Jenner

So

Why is it controversial?

Well, there can be a lot of shame about such arousal.

Often the man has been cross-dressing, usually in private, for some time.

Hence teen boys may "suddenly" come out as trans, but actually they've just been keeping things private.

And, in contrast to childhood (early onset) & teenage (rapid onset) gender dysphoria

this usually *IS* fixed.

Blanchard says it's best to think of it as a sexual orientation, so like being gay or lesbian.

And, like those sexual orientations, trying to change it won't work.

Some men in this situation will be best off transitioning to live as women.

And some will not.

Again, *non-ideological* professional help is called for.

Not a rush to transition.

OK, now you know about the THREE types of GD

And you can see that someone who's transitioned male-to-female as an adult

does NOT necessarily know what is best for a 5-year-old, or for a teen girl with GD.

If you

Want to understand the issues more, and how to support and protect your children more, you can

a) read @BlanchardPhD's detailed description of the above at

4thwavenow.wordpress.com/2017/12/07/gen…

b) read @DrDebraSoh's book The End of Gender

c) follow twitter list I've made called "Gender Sanity" (link below) which has

-therapists
-researchers
-trans men (F to M) eg @BuckAngel
-trans women (M to F) eg @DebbieHayton
-parents
-activists & organisations

Who think clearly about gender & care about protecting kids.

twitter.com/i/lists/153057…

And

I wish YOU all the best in protecting your children, and the children of others, from the mental anguish that comes with GD.

And if you've found this thread useful & want other parents to also benefit,

Please Like AND share the top tweet.

Thank you 🙏

https://twitter.com/kevinburch/status/1548070253145444359?s=20&t=VVxNi_RlwlPzJ3Cn6sjebg