Make up sayings that sound terribly meaningful but in fact mean nothing:

Only the rain knows why it's raining.

The longest journey is long.
Waves don't break backwards
Where are the eggs when the light goes out?
A hearing aid won't help you see

Raise your arms, lose your armpits

The beard that grows is the beard that knows
The butter that's spread
always hides the bread

No one ever won a mantlepiece in a raffle

There's always a station where the train don't stop
Would you ask the vicar for a rabbit?

Adam knew it
Eve threw it.

And what did the devil's wife say to that?

You've got a bone in your arm for a reason

He who stretches it
always fetches it

Cheese wasn't invented on a Tuesday

Him? He's as regular as a gate.

He who's wearing odd socks has got another pair at home just the same

Holy Joseph and all the little daisies!

Never pick a fight with an open book

Wait long enough and one'll come out the tap.

Listen to your teeth

A good dog is never far from a lamp post.
You can't see the roof when you're inside your house.
Tell that to the spider at the bottom of your boot.
The evening doesn't smell like the morning.
You'll never see a fly walk the plank.
That's the cushion that's been sat on once too often.
The water at the bottom tastes the same as the water at the top.
Him? I tell you what he's like. He'd find an onion in a tool-box.
Him? He's too good for his own good.
You can shut your eyes but you can't shut your ears.
Hope didn't boil the kettle.
You know what he's like? Too much breakfast, not enough dinner.
It's not every yard of rope that has a knot in it.
A rose is still a rose when it's lost its petals.
Next thing you'll be telling me pasta was invented in Leeds.
Outside is out there and it always has been.
It's not the end of the world. It's only where the horse stops.
A three-piece suite is always bigger than a three-piece suit.
The parrot says, 'It's half past nine'
but it doesn't mean it can tell the time.
Big fish stay away from shallow water
Yes...he said that to the last pot he pissed in and see where that got him.

If the doctor can't find your arse, no one can.
My dad had a Yiddish saying , often repeated: " 'ch a dich im loch'. My mother wouldn't ever let him tell us what it meant. Later in life, after she was long gone, he told me it meant 'I've got you in my hole'. (But what hole? And why? And what did it mean anyway?)
What did the ear 'ear?
Only the nose knows.
Who 'ad the cakes?
Adam 'ad 'em.
My father: 'What do you think this place is? Liberty Hall?'
(Where was this place? What was he talking about?)
Mysterious #CodSayings
The tree said to the axe, 'Don't chop me down, your handle is one of us.'
If you forget to cut your nails in the morning, they'll still be there when you get home in the evening.
Wow it’s so hot in here you could pickle a cherry.
The biggest surprise is there’s no surprise.
Well, YOU explain why cowboys wear hats, then!
Come on little darling, make like Shirley Temple!
(True one `(said to a child) from my father's grandmother, i think.)
Letters and numbers don't tell the same story.
Freedom doesn't come in a bucket.
Plus ça change, plus c'est le même bureau de change.


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More from @MichaelRosenYes

Jul 22
New game: "Cross-naming using a word (or words) from two titles and writing the new plot?"
(Let's call it 'CrossWorks')

What would the plot of the book be like if you crossed 'Lord of the Flies' with 'Lord of the Rings' ie 'Lord of the Flyrings' Or 'Lord of the Ringflies'.
A Midsomer Night's Dream
(A nightmare in which Oberon finds out that Titania killed Bottom.)
The Cruella Sea
in which 101 Dalmations sink a German submarine.
Read 22 tweets
May 9
The Mayor and me laying a wreath on the war memorial where my father’s uncle’s name has just been engraved, as it was here he was arrested prior to being deported to Auschwitz Image
My father’s uncle’s name newly engraved on the memorial in the village where he was arrested. Image
The plaque in the nearby town marking where all the Jews of the region including Martin Rosen (Chil Majer Rozen) were assembled prior to being transferred to Drancy and then deported to Auschwitz Image
Read 17 tweets
May 1
How far back can you go where you can see today a dwelling where one of your ancestors lived? (I can’t go back further than great grandparents.)
This house used to be multi-occupied (and still is, judging by the fact that one of the dustbins has the number 5 on it). It's where my great grandmother Betsy Brookstone (Bruchstein) 64 Filey Avenue, Stamford Hill, London.
Ah, have just referred to emails from distant cousins: my great-great-grandparents (Hyman Bruchstein/Brookstone and Miriam née Cohen) b. Poland circa 1830, moved to Newcastle, then Poplar, then 257 Ladbroke Grove, then Stamford Hill.
Here's 257 Ladbroke Grove - presumably a flat
Read 10 tweets
Apr 30
This image comes from the 1871 census. Anyone be absolutely sure (no guesses please) what the name of this street is in Westgate, Newcastle?
Ah there was an Alderman Hamond in Newcastle at that time....I just can't find a street of that name being mentioned in the 19th century...
Ah...just found a reference for 'Hamond Street' 1880s, 'home to many Jewish families'...
Now all I've got to do is find an old map with it on...
Read 4 tweets
Apr 4
Between 12 and 22 minutes on this video, the village council of Sainte Hermine (Vendée) discuss the upcoming inauguration of a municipal park in the name of my father's uncle who was arrested in the village and deported to Auschwitz.…
One reason for doing this, the mayor says, arises from him observing his Lycée pupils saying things about the Second World War that are wrong.
I found out what happened from the archives in Vendée and have worked with the Mayor ever since. It was his idea to name the park this way. The memory of what happened in 1944 had been forgotten.
Read 12 tweets
Oct 23, 2021
@LucyWilliamson Hello Lucy. You said that during WW2 20k Jews were deported from France to concentration camps. It was 77k from which some 2.5k returned. My father's uncle and aunt were amongst those who did not come back. I hope it can be corrected before the repeat.
Yad Vashem put the figure higher: "In total, approximately 80,000 Jews were deported from France during the war. 2,000 of them survived. Approximately 70,000 Jews were sent to Auschwitz, while the rest were sent to Majdanek, Sobibor, and a small number to Buchenwald."
You could check what the latest scholarly figures are from @Fondation_Shoah or @Shoah_Memorial where there is the Wall of Names. My father's relatives' names are inscribed on the wall there.
Read 4 tweets

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