Thread by @MichaelRosenYes

Make up sayings that sound terribly meaningful but in fact mean nothing:

Only the rain knows why it's raining.

#CodSayings

The longest journey is long.
#codsayings

Waves don't break backwards
#CodSayings

Where are the eggs when the light goes out?
#CodSayings

A hearing aid won't help you see

#Codsayings

Raise your arms, lose your armpits

#CodSayings

The beard that grows is the beard that knows
#codsayings
@kmflett

The butter that's spread
always hides the bread

#Codsayings

No one ever won a mantlepiece in a raffle

#Codsayings

There's always a station where the train don't stop
#codsayings

Would you ask the vicar for a rabbit?

#Codsayings

Adam knew it
Eve threw it.

#CodSayings

And what did the devil's wife say to that?

#CodSayings

You've got a bone in your arm for a reason

#codsayings

He who stretches it
always fetches it

#CodSayings

Cheese wasn't invented on a Tuesday

#CodSayings

Him? He's as regular as a gate.

#CodSayings

He who's wearing odd socks has got another pair at home just the same

#CodSayings

Holy Joseph and all the little daisies!

#CodSayings

Never pick a fight with an open book

#CodSayings

Wait long enough and one'll come out the tap.

#CodSayings

Listen to your teeth

#CodSayings

A good dog is never far from a lamp post.

You can't see the roof when you're inside your house.
#CodSayings

Tell that to the spider at the bottom of your boot.
#CodSayings

The evening doesn't smell like the morning.
#CodSayings

You'll never see a fly walk the plank.
#CodSayings

That's the cushion that's been sat on once too often.
#CodSayings

The water at the bottom tastes the same as the water at the top.
#CodSayings

Him? I tell you what he's like. He'd find an onion in a tool-box.
#CodSayings.

Him? He's too good for his own good.
#CodSayings

You can shut your eyes but you can't shut your ears.
#CodSayings

Hope didn't boil the kettle.
#CodSayings

You know what he's like? Too much breakfast, not enough dinner.
#CodSayings

It's not every yard of rope that has a knot in it.
#CodSayings

A rose is still a rose when it's lost its petals.
#CodSayings

Next thing you'll be telling me pasta was invented in Leeds.
#CodSayings

Outside is out there and it always has been.
#CodSayings

It's not the end of the world. It's only where the horse stops.
#CodSayings

A three-piece suite is always bigger than a three-piece suit.
#CodSayings

The parrot says, 'It's half past nine'
but it doesn't mean it can tell the time.
#CodSayings.

Big fish stay away from shallow water
#CodSayings

Yes...he said that to the last pot he pissed in and see where that got him.

#CodSayings

If the doctor can't find your arse, no one can.
#CodSayings

My dad had a Yiddish saying , often repeated: " 'ch a dich im loch'. My mother wouldn't ever let him tell us what it meant. Later in life, after she was long gone, he told me it meant 'I've got you in my hole'. (But what hole? And why? And what did it mean anyway?)
#CodSayings

What did the ear 'ear?
Only the nose knows.
#CodSayings

Who 'ad the cakes?
Adam 'ad 'em.
#CodSayings

My father: 'What do you think this place is? Liberty Hall?'
(Where was this place? What was he talking about?)
Mysterious #CodSayings

The tree said to the axe, 'Don't chop me down, your handle is one of us.'
#CodSayings

If you forget to cut your nails in the morning, they'll still be there when you get home in the evening.
#CodSayings

Wow it’s so hot in here you could pickle a cherry.
#CodSayings

The biggest surprise is there’s no surprise.
#CodSayings

Well, YOU explain why cowboys wear hats, then!
#CodSayings

Come on little darling, make like Shirley Temple!
#CodSayings
(True one `(said to a child) from my father's grandmother, i think.)

Letters and numbers don't tell the same story.
#CodSayings

Freedom doesn't come in a bucket.
#Codsayings

Plus ça change, plus c'est le même bureau de change.

#codsayings