Josh Susser Profile picture
Jul 26 9 tweets 2 min read
Thinking about that time we had an impossible deadline to meet, and my boss offered me a huge cash bonus to work around the clock for a month to meet it. Got it done on time. Boss said "must have not been that hard after all" and said I didn't deserve the bonus and shafted me.
Then there was the time I got injured badly right before a company retreat and could barely walk. The CEO told me I should fly to another time zone and spend a week laid up in a hotel room so he could have perfect attendance at the retreat.
One time a Director in a different division borrowed my entire team out from under me for 3 months so he could meet his personal metric and get a cash bonus, while my revenue-positive project was on hold. The company lost money and he got a big bonus for it.
One manager was literally over two years late on performance reviews for our whole team, and nobody had gotten a raise in that time, and everyone complained to HR constantly and it took over a year of that for them to replace him.
Then there was that time I was working a job in SF and the client said "let's move to on-site" and suddenly I was expected to commute to the South Bay for 6 months or lose my job, and when I objected the CEO literally yelled at me until I gave in.
And I'll never forget (or understand) that time they changed my job and literally didn't tell me for months until I got fired.
I generally don't trust managers at all. Even the ones I thought I could trust never looked out for me, and saw me as an expendable resource to be taken advantage of and discarded. And if I do find a decent manager, a few months later they get replaced and I'm stuck again.
I've done a lot of valuable stuff in my career, and you probably use my code every day. But decades of being mismanaged at abusive levels has left me burnt out with nothing to show for it but a bleak future and a lot of regrets. I made a lot of other people rich, though.
I used to think everyone had it that bad. Then I wondered if something was wrong with me. Now I understand that I'm #ActuallyAutistic and the deck was always stacked against me, and it's a wonder I did as well as I did in my career, which would be impressive for anyone tyvm.

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More from @joshsusser

Jul 28
Let's talk about the autistic nightmare known as the Popularity Contest. It's when there is some kind of competition that is supposedly based on how well one competes but is really about how much people like you. …
In middle school, disco was the fad, and also dance contests at the school dance parties. Surprisingly, I was good, and if the teachers judged the contest I (and my partner) would usually win. If the students judged I never made the top 3, and the guys everyone liked won. …
That sounds pretty childish, which is why I used an example from my childhood. But adults do this all the time, and it's not a secret at all. Just look at how we elect Presidents. Or which companies get funded. Or who wins at the Oscars. …
Read 14 tweets
May 19
#ActuallyAutistic folk aren't inherently bad at communicating, but we do naturally use a different communication style than allistics. That mismatch creates a communication gap, and it's almost always the autistics who have to do the work to bridge that gap. …
Reaching across the gap is usually on the autistic, because we're the ones who can't avoid seeing it, and who will suffer most for not bridging it. And we have more experience doing that work, so we have some skills, even if they're not ideal. …
Many autistics wish allistics would take on some of that work to bridge the communication gap. WE KNOW THAT IS HARD. We're not asking you because we think it will be easy. We're asking because it's hard and it's not fair for us to do all that work in every conversation. …
Read 9 tweets
Feb 16
There's a thing a lot of us #ActuallyAutistic twitterers do sometimes that allistic folk may not understand. We share our stories of autistic life, so other autistic folk can recognize themselves in their own stories. …
It may sound like we are venting, looking for sympathy, or seeking attention (unlike everyone else on twitter?). It may seem weird that we reveal our shame and vulnerability to the world just to mark the trail for those who might follow. That's OK, we're not tweeting for you. …
Many Autistic folk, myself included, don't figure it out until later in life. Many of us figured it out because we read someone's tweets and finally found someone who knew what life was like for us, and could say it more clearly than we could ourselves. …
Read 7 tweets

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