Jocko Willink is known for discipline, grit, and extreme ownership.
But when it came to parenting, he got some things completely wrong and had to learn the hard way.
Here are 10 powerful lessons from his conversation with his daughter, Rana:
1. The Rock-Carrying Challenge: Teaching Grit and Determination
Jocko set up a challenge: swim across a river, grab the biggest rock you can carry, and bring it back. Most kids chose small stones easy to manage. But his daughter? She went for a massive boulder.
It was so heavy she couldn’t swim with it. Instead, she walked along the riverbed, fully submerged, only surfacing for air. When she finally emerged from the water, gasping, drenched, and victorious, it was clear, she had won by sheer willpower.
👉 Parenting Lesson: Kids don’t build grit when things are easy. Let them struggle, let them problem-solve, and let them win through perseverance.
Several times a week I get asked: “How do you guys do it?”
• 6 kids (1-13yrs)
• Happy marriage
• Both work out daily
• PhD & now CEO of a company
The answer is, there’s no secret. But here's my attempt to give a fuller picture in the hope that it helps other parents.
But first up, the reason I’ve struggled to write about this is that any attempt to ‘reveal’ how we do it, will be incomplete and how things work for us, will not work for you in the same way.
I’m not trying to be prescriptive, as I don’t know your situation. But if any of my/our experience can be of help, this piece has served a purpose.
So life with 6 kids (and no paid help) is most of the time some sort of chaos.
I've listened to 1,000+ hours of his podcasts, read his books and spoken with him.
Here are 12 principles you can apply to become unbeatable:
Who is Jocko Willink?
• Married with 4 kids
• Leadership consultant
• Navy Seal (20-year career)
• Co-owner of Jiu Jitsu academy & gym
• Podcast host and NYT bestselling author
• Co-owner of Origin USA (clothing & supplements)
Now to the principles:
▪️Simple
Jocko was asked how he keeps on track of all his projects. His answer: Excel spreadsheets.
Don’t fall for complicated workflows and fancy software. Simple is best.