My daughter, who had freedom throughout her childhood to play with whatever she liked and dress however she liked, suddenly announced she was trans in 2018, in a weirdly scripted note. English is her best subject at school and this wasn't written like her.
We didn't know anything about it - it was all new to us - and had never heard of ROGD. Huge learning curve. All signs - even close friends - urged us to go to the Tavistock and Mermaids, and "get puberty blockers to put puberty on hold", as though they were sweets.
But none of it made sense. It seemed like a tripwire too - certain questions would trigger a hugely negative and defensive response. Nothing like how our daughter used to be. We really wanted to understand. We love her so much, yet somehow she had decided we would hate her.
We told her that if she was lesbian or bi we would totally "get" it, but that this was totally new to us, and asked her gently to explain to us why she wanted to be a boy. She couldn't. It sent her into a dark spiral of anxiety and fear. Nothing like the joy of "coming out".
Her "friend" sent her links to videos and Tumblr threads, and one got her a breast binder. We had no idea. We were so so naive. She has crushed her chest beyond recognition, and still wears the grey ragged binder, despite us buying her sports bras to use instead.
A friend of hers has transitioned. Others went through a few years of being trans, or nonbinary, or many other identities. Apart from the binding, our daughter has otherwise desisted (at least for now). She may yet emerge from this a happy butch lesbian... #ROGDAwarenessDay
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