Akiva Cohen Profile picture
Sep 1 9 tweets 3 min read
OK, #LitigationDisasterTourists, there's actually some stuff in the "What the special master should do" section that we need to talk about.

Like this:
The Trump team is actually asking that they be allowed access to all of the classified material at issue and to provide "privilege" and "personal" designations to the special master ex parte - meaning without needing to tell the government what they're claiming is priv/personal
They then say that the special master should review only the stuff designated as privileged, but anything designated as "personal" should just be turned back over to Trump immediately
Setting aside that they're defining "personal" as "any document CONTAINING personal information" (even if it also contains official information), and setting aside the evidentiary value of those "personal" items (which we discussed in yesterday's thread) ...
they are asking that the court establish a "if we say so" standard for the return of seized materials. They get to designate ex parte, and nobody reviews those designations.

"Look, if the target of the investigation says this stuff is irrelevant, who could argue?"
They ALSO want the judge to order the government to give Trump back a copy of the mishandled classified records (LOL NO) and also also an unredacted copy of the warrant (which another court has already denied their motion for)
This is bonkers on an entirely different level from their "legal argument". I understand that people are scared because Cannon is a "Trump judge" but a whole lot of "Trump judges" spiked his election nonsense and I fully expect Cannon to do the same with this
Only a diseased mind would think this was viable. Secret privilege claims? That's not a thing.
Conclusion:

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More from @AkivaMCohen

Sep 1
OK, #LitigationDisasterTourists, let's make today a twofer and read through Trump's reply to the DOJ's filing
Let's start with this:

He's not the fucking President anymore, guys. And that kind of makes a huge difference in this case, too
They're trying to start off with a bang, but this fizzles, badly.

The "extraordinary" position of the DOJ is that they get to evaluate whether there was a crime and if so whether to prosecute?

My dude, we call that "Wednesday"
Read 50 tweets
Aug 31
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha

<pause for breath>

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Y'all, I just cannot. If he had any competent lawyers (and Trusty might be minimally competent) they would want to strangle him right now
This reads like a @Popehat Giuliani bit:

"They want you to think I had the classified documents on the floor. It's a lie! When I illegally kept those classified documents they were in my cartons, they took them out of my cartons and PUT them on the floor!"
"What do you mean 'were the documents on the floor' isn't an element of what I'm being charged with? What's an 'element'?"

Trump's lawyers:
Read 4 tweets
Aug 31
OK, #LitigationDisasterTourists, let's review the DOJ's Mar-a-Lago filing. A terrific brief - well written and persuasive - it does exactly what you want to do when you're defending a motion: offer the judge multiple independent reasons to say "no"

storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…
That said, I don't love the start of this brief. As the old commercial said, you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and the intro to your brief is where you do that. I always want to start with something high-impact that catches attention/sets a tone or theme
This is not that.
Read 85 tweets
Aug 30
Hey, constitutional scholar type people, what if you're convinced that the original intent of various constitutional provisions was for them to be interpreted in a dynamic way as society changed?
For example, the Second Amendment speaks of "the" right to bear arms not being infringed; that implies a specific known right with a particular framework being referenced.

In contrast, the 8th bars "cruel and unusual punishment" not "cruel and unusual punishments"
the latter could conceivably be a reference to a specific set of punishments deemed cruel and unusual at the time. But the language they chose was instead one of *general* principal: no punishment that is considered cruel or unusual.
Read 4 tweets
Aug 19
Hey, #LitigationDisasterTourists, it's time to look at the Ur-text of litigation disaster tourism, the decision on appeal from the place where, in many ways, all of this started:
For those of you who don't know the backstory, that's Vic Mignogna, a relatively famous anime voice actor with a long-whispered unsavory reputation as a sex pest.
Way back in (IIRC) 2019, those allegations exploded into public view at about the same time as the release of the Dragonball Super:Broly movie in which he played the lead character (it apparently involved screaming a lot, don't ask me, I'm not a DB guy)
Read 65 tweets
Aug 19
Also, this bit makes no sense at all, and I say that as a deeply religious person.
Your harm here is the lost income (money). Absent some specific showing that a particular plaintiff desperately needs money and will be forced to comply to survive in the interim because they can't find any other source of income, there's no irreparable harm at all.
Let's concretize this with an example: My employer says to me "eat pork or we'll put you on unpaid leave". I don't "give up my faith" - I say no & sue. There are now two options:

1) I have enough assets/family income/income from a new job that I can survive through the case w/o
Read 7 tweets

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