Thread by @InDetransition

So ... my story is a long, winding path through several dimly lit alleyways.

I'm a lesbian, I'm autistic, I'm a medical detransitioner, and I started to question everything when I was strongly urged towards a hysterectomy as part of an FtM transition.

#YoungGCWomenUnite

Growing up, I immensely struggled with all sorts of period related unwellness, especially debilitating pain to the point where it became impossible to walk.

Was it ever taken seriously in the context of me being female?

~NOPE~.

But as soon as I underwent transition related measures, this procedure was not just practically thrown after me - I was advised to consider all sorts of horrible consequences if I didn't go for it.

Only through extensive personal research did I find out the absolute lunacy of removing your gonads without medical necessity.
I was not even informed once that a radical hysterectomy would mean lifelong hormonal intervention.

I went back and forth on the surgery because, while I felt pushed immensely, I trusted the surgeon who is one of the most sought out ones in my country. I wanted to feel like he had my best interest in mind.

Eventually, my conscience got the better of me and I demanded - on the day of surgery, mind you - that he leave my ovaries intact.

It took every ounce of willpower I had to do this. He strongly pushed against it because "we have never done it like this for trans men".

Ngl, I held back tears the entire damn time I was in that conference room. Actually one of the only times I cried while I was on T.

He finally agreed to do it like this after a gruelling 30 minutes of really stupid back and forth.

I had completely stopped trusting him at this point, but I was also not strong enough to say no to "everything". One of my autistic traits is that I'm a people pleaser to a stupidly high degree, to the detriment of my own interests.

So I was just ... glad I had negotiated this "deal" between us, and went with it.

Once I woke up from the surgery, there was another trans man in the room who just had a hysterectomy also. I asked him how exactly they did it in his case. He said he "didn't know the specifics".

He didn't know a single thing about what precisely was taken out. That shocked me to the core. I asked him whether he planned to stay on hormones for the rest of his life. He said he didn't know.

After his post-OP appointment, he learnt that the surgeon had removed cervix, uterus, tubes and ovaries.

He was also very astounded to hear from me that hormones were no longer an option, but necessary in his case. I could tell he was immediately regretful.

That encounter between me and this trans man stuck with me for months. This could have been me if I had chosen to trust only what the surgeon told.

I was trying to talk to my trans friends about medical neglect in our community, but it was not a topic they felt strongly about.

I decided to stop T for a while after the hysto to let everything recover and recuperate. I felt connected to my emotions for the first time in years and decided to just not start it again.