Thread by @woodallthoughts

When hyper alignment with a parent is combined with contemptuous rejection of the other, investigation of the hyper alignment is necessary. Hyper alignment hides coercive control strategies and enmeshment. 1

Enmeshment is a pathological
Relationship in which the child’s needs are seen as indivisible from that of a parent (usually a mother). Coercive control is a pathological pattern of relationship in which a child is forced to adhere to parental wishes. 2

These are the two most common psycho-pathological patterns of parental behaviour seen in alienation and both are serious child protection issues. 3

When a child is captured in a double bind - ie: reject the other parent to placate or please me, they are in the care of a parent who is causing harm. In this circumstance the child expresses the pathological views of the abusing parent - because they have no other option.4

I’m alienation situations a child depends on a parent who is threatening the attachment bond either overtly or covertly. In such circumstances hyper alignment is a natural thing for a child to do, it is harmful as it causes maladaptive relational responses such as rejection 5

In such circumstances, therapy must a) constrain the harm, b) project the child, c) treat the splitting response. Treating splitting requires the arrest of coercive control & enmeshment whilst using proximity to split off parts of self (rejected parent). 6

Alienation is emotional and psychological abuse - if it were physical harm we would have no problem separating the child from an abuser but because the scars are invisible, controversy reigns. Listening to once alienated children however tells a different story. 7

Recovered children from residence transfer over the post decade tell their stories in FSC evaluation-there is no doubt that this abuse is deeply harmful and that intervention brings healing and hope for a healthier future. Much more to come in the autumn. 8