Thread by @MForstater

Misogyny 101: Disdain for mothers

Things I say rarely get commented on by Owen Jones, Billy Bragg, Robin Moira White etc.. but the library rhyme time scheme really seemed to hit a nerve with these people and the hoards of TRA/MRA trolls who are playing it for lols.

A bunch of people have jumped on me saying I am criticising a book. Just to be clear: this isn’t a book (people can write crappy books with ugly cartoon characters if they want). This is about a public library scheme for parents (mainly mothers) and toddlers.

My concerns (following a message from a mum who said it felt ideological, creepy and gaslighting) were:
1. It is promoting gender ideology (non-binary, they/them pronouns) to children
2. It is excluding parents (mainly mothers) who don’t want this.

Billy Bragg suggested that I am “denying that men can have a role as care givers”.

This is obviously silly.

The fact is that most infants are mainly looked after by their mothers. This is part of women’s lives.

Parent & toddler groups in libraries, church halls, playgroups, one-o-clock clubs, sports centres are not unimportant or laughable.

They are mainly invisible to men, and to younger women, as is most of the shock of bringing up children and how that affects women's lives.

The Lols at Tala reflect the general disdain for the "lived experience" of mothers.

You have just spent 9 months building a whole new human being inside you. Your body is battered & changed for ever. You are off work. You are isolated. You may not have any local mum friends.

You are in charge of a baby. You have never done this before. You haven’t had a good nights sleep for months and won’t for years. Everyone has an opinion on what you are doing right and wrong.

Even getting out of the house feels momentously difficult.

Then two years later you are doing it again. This time with more experience, but more exhaustion, two sets of different needs to juggle. Baby and toddler. Buggy, juice, snacks, nappies, nap times, tantrums.

And you have become invisible. You had politics, you had a career, you had interests, you had a sex life. Now you have the daily needs of a completely dependent person, and your world has shrunk.

All of this has come as quite a shock. You weren't prepared for it.

So there is a local group where they sing songs and play with toys, give the toddler a biscuit and some squash.

There are other mums there. You feel less isolated. But you also feel intimidated. Are you doing this right? Are you being judged?

This is not the time and place for some ideologically driven Council worker to push gender identity on you and make you feel like a bigot or an outcast if you resist.

The fact that these men, and the young women that cheer them on think this is so laughable reflects society's disdain for mothers . This is why it is important that we can talk about women’s lives. Not “menstruators”, “uterus havers” and "pregnant people".

This is what it means to say woman is not a feeling, or costume. It is a whole life of experience of being female.

This is why the hub of the resistance is on Mumsnet

mumsnet.com/talk/womens_ri…